The afternoon had been just about perfect until the walls began to tremble. Crockery tumbled and smashed like a giant suddenly shook the house to dislodge its occupants. Raffe blinked in confusion as Christian urged them all to the doorway, not quite piecing the situation together until the door was flung wide and Christian’s plea hammered his ears. Raffe’s eyes widened. The comforting arm he had strung around Ana’s shoulders slipped free as he rushed forward. Nox had urged him to caution before, but he wasn’t thinking now, just reacting. Every instinct fought to close the distance, even if it was wrong. “Nox?” Warnings paled. He knew what slithered in the dark. But he still flung out a hand to grab the other man’s arm.
An invisible noose wrapped around his neck and tightened. The look on the boys face was one of pure rage and destruction. He was a menace to society and these people were calling out to make him stop but the noose only grew tighter. Jer's hand grappled with nothing yet something. If he had been able to breathe and think it would have been surreal. But for now, he only fought to catch his breath. To break free of the unseen bonds.
Even as the ground shook beneath him Jer could only focus on the air leaving his lungs.
The voices behind him made sense. But the darkness didn't care. The hoard wanted to feast. It grew closer and darker and hand on his arm shot pain through his mind. It broke part of the hold on Nox and he turned to look at what had ensnared him. The very reason the darkness found hold stared at him. The ruffled curls, the kissable lips, his home. The seed planted, but the darkness fought back. It reached inside and tried to grab Raffe with the missing hand. The bandaged stump falling far from the mark but pain seared through the scraping of bandage to wound from the touch that had landed on the other man's chest.
Nox fell to his knees but the ropes of the power held fast. The darkness pulled out the power and the pain scoured his soul. Memories of the Ijiraq scoured Nox's mind and he jammed the stump of his arm into the ground. The pain cracking the darkness more. Nox felt himself, dropped the power. His body shook as he collapsed in a heap on the ground curled in on himself. What had he done? He didn't want to look.
The sounds of a man gasping for air behind him was the only confirmation that the Atharim survived.
Nox lunged. Raffe jerked back even though he knew it was the injured arm; instinct prevailing before thought. It smacked his chest but he didn’t let go, not until Nox fell hard to his knees. Raffe’s pulse burned, his expression torn wide in terror, and only then realised the presence of the other man -- the one from the hospital. Writhing, hands at his throat. Suffocating. It stirred something bright in his chest. Not to protect Nox from the Atharim, but to protect Nox from himself. He fell alongside, not sure how to pierce through that darkness. “Pleasepleaseplease.” The words were ragged, choked in his scarred throat. Nox rammed the wound into the ground and finally curled into himself, shaking. Raffe’s arms held close, his face pressed to the top of Nox’s head. Relief flooded, until he thought to look up to the man. And saw the muzzle of a gun.
Then that feeling in his chest unspooled into rage. Not Raffe’s own, but like the world suddenly drained of colour. His grip tightened, confused by the drown of sensation. Then the gun swiped free, knocked sideways into the grass.
The world started going black. Lights flashed in his eyes, the sound of his blood flooded his ears. His head started to feel light and then just as suddenly he fell to the ground gasping for air.
Jer waited for a count of three to catch his breath before looking up. The boy and his friend were curled on the ground. The man and women stood frozen in the doorframe. The shaking had stopped the boy god was down. Jer moved quickly drawing the gun from his boot and pointed it at the fallen god. The only god was a dead god.
The other man looked up and his gun flew to the grass. The boy still curled around him on the floor he rocked back and forth like a child. But Jer stared at his gun on the grass. Two? Were they coming out of the wood work.
Jer fled before the boy rounded on him again. The van wasn't far and he backed away. This wasn't the time to fight. A better day, better equipment. This house would fall.
Nox felt Raffe there with him. And then the menacing presence filled his senses and Nox looked up at Raffe who was holding him. The power emanated from him and fear lanced through his mind. "Raffe!" Nox's voice sounded far away. All other thoughts shifted away. Raffe could channel. Nox's head fell. He hadn't just found out he could channel, he told the Atharim he could. Fear pressed the darkness back and Nox grabbed at Raffe's shirt and pulled him close. He started babbling about how Raffe wasn't safe now. How he had to learn control. Nothing really was making sense.
Christian and Ana were standing above them but Nox didn't take his eyes off Raffe.
"Let's get him inside." He said helping Raffe up and Nox along side him.
Once standing Nox wrapped his only arm around Raffe and mumbled into his shoulder. "I'm sorry." over and over.
The man ran. As soon as Raffe saw that they were safe, his attention diverted down. Because Nox was in a bad way. Words spewed forth in a confused tangle, but all he was really aware of was Nox’s distress and how it pulled at him. The other man wrenched at the front of his shirt, but he just encircled him closer. He pressed a kiss atop his head, smoothing his hair.
“Hey, it’s okay. It’s okay. We’re safe, he’s gone. You probably scared him, but he didn’t seem hurt. You’ll learn how to control it. It’s okay.”
Then Christian was there helping them both to their feet. Raffe tried to offer a smile of gratitude, but mostly he just felt afraid and worried, and it dominated his expression. Nox clung to him, and it punctured his heart to see it. It had to be the infection, or the guilt of his reaction. Raffe could still hear the choking sounds the man had made on the ground, but whatever Nox had almost done he had not killed him. He’d learn to control it. He had to.
It was a stumbling walk, but he followed Christian and Ana back into the house, soothing the sobs and apologies as they went.
Nox barely registered that he was inside. Ana spoke, "Take him upstairs, there are plenty of rooms to choose from."
But Christian intervened, "You know he won't be comfortable upstairs." The basement stairs drew into view and Christian helped Raffe take Nox downstairs and to the little room he'd spent his nights in. It was sparse and empty like he'd left it, the bed was neatly made and barely big enough for one much less two though he hadn't had any problems before. But Nox didn't lie down when prompted. Just sat on the edge in numb silence. Raffe could channel. The Atharim knew. And he'd almost killed a man. His mind reeled and recoiled inside and the darkness fought to take hold to grab the power inside and strangle something. It wanted to kill to, maim and murder, and most of all it wanted to live on.
Nox shook with the darkness inside.
****
Christian took Raffe aside and spoke softly. "You can stay here as long as you need. But don't let him go home until he stops babbling. I can have Cruz and other of Jivana's medical staff here in a blink of an eye. If you spend the night, stay in my old room, don't let him stay here. This is safe, but he needs more than safe. He looks like he broke the wound open. I will call Cruz, Nox mentioned he had a Jivana team already. I'll make some dinner, and if he's feeling up to it, breakfast is his. If you need to leave for whatever reason I'll have a car take you. Dorian has a trained driver to lose any tails." But there was concern in Christian's eyes.
"Nox didn't throw that gun from the Atharim's hand. Have you done that before? I think Nox is apologizing because of what he did. I honestly don't believe he feels bad about hurting someone like that. But now the Atharim know you are a danger too. I think, Nox is sorry about that." Christian said patting Raffe on the shoulder. "Stay as long as you need. Our home is safe for both of you."
Christian urged him aside, though he really didn’t want to go. Reassurances were offered but it was overwhelming, and Raffe wasn’t sure he absorbed it all well -- and definitely not quickly. His hands brushed over his head, or rubbed his jaw; small marks of agitation. Cars and drivers and medical teams and this HUGE house. All meant to help, but all he could see bright in his mind’s eye was how badly Nox had been shaking.
Then Christian said something else that just made him blink stupidly. His first thought was denial, and so was his second and third, but it didn’t matter what was true if that was what Nox thought. He pinched his eyes, the horror draining. He didn’t have room for the concern, not for himself. He thanked Christian vaguely, and felt bad for it -- especially since he knew the man was just as worried. He’d make up for it. But later.
When he returned he joined Nox perched on the edge of the bed, not knowing what to do -- even feeling a rare swell of anger for the fact he did not know what to do. In the end he only leaned in to rest his chin on the other man’s shoulder, face pressed close, eyes closed. “I’m sorry too,” he whispered. An arm wrapped around, not really sure any of the words would get through. The ache in his chest hurt like something physical. “He was going to shoot you, though. I didn’t do it on purpose. I don’t even know if I did do it. But I wouldn’t let him shoot you, and that part I’m not sorry for, Nox. Just for what it’s caused.”
Raffe left, he didn't go far. But still his comforting touch was gone and Nox did his best not to whimper with the internal fight. It was as much a physical struggle as a mental one. The hoard wanted control. They had to go. And with the thought, they fought harder.
Raffe was next to him again and Nox listened to the words, fought with the words inside his head. Raffe could channel. The Atharim knew. But the Atharim could also channel. Nox thought about those things - not the undying darkness inside. Nox took a page out of his yoga book and concentrated on his breathing. Slow and steady, in through the nose, out through the mouth. He focused on Raffe's breathing next to him, he calmed with each breath. Raffe was so close, he could still smell him on his own skin, but with him that close Nox turned his head slightly and captured his lips gently. The darkness inside wanted more - it hungered for more, but Nox fought to keep it slow and simple and let Raffe's touch calm him.
"I'm sorry." Nox said as he pulled away only so he could whisper in the quiet of the basement. "I felt it. You did. We'll make sure you never feel what I felt. Or what that Atharim will feel in a few weeks."
Nox cracked a weak smile and licked his lips. "I hope I live up to whatever you see that's worth saving. But thank you."
The smell of food trickled down the stairs, probably done so on purpose - who could resist the smell of a hot steak? "Are you hungry?" Nox's own stomach rumbled its complaint. Between the emotions and the darkness hovering just under his skin. "Or do I need to explain first?" Nox wasn't looking forward to that, but he knew there was something in order. His mind was fragmented after the plane crash, fragmented before, and now there was a warring consciousness. Nox was pretty sure he was going to need therapy after all this shit.