Leaving the Carnival had been one of the easiest things to do. At least at first, it wasn't until she was bundled in a warm coat and holding Esper's hand a few blocks from the Carnival that it really hit. What had she done? And where would they go?
"Where do we go?" There was sorrow in her voice. Not for their future but for what she'd lost. She was happy, she squeezed Esper's hand, it was the right thing to do, but now what? "We could stay with Zeke. Or we could haunt Cruz some more. I'm sure that would go over well." He was slipping away, he'd visited Zeke, he was hitting a new low just what her cousin wanted. They wouldn't necessarily be needed there anymore.
She could feel Roza’s anxiety simmering the further they got from the carnival, no matter how small it was. It squirmed inside her own body as a result, but Esper was prosaic. She was a small child when she first left her life with the priests and discovered the Vas family instead. The only thing keeping her rooted had always been Roza. This new uncertainty did not leave an impression upon her, for there was very little in the way of emotional ties that were broken in the departure. She would not miss Renata or Roza’s siblings. Nor did the practicalities concern her. She did not worry over where they would lay their heads tonight because she knew they would find somewhere. In fact with Esper’s push and Roza’s light, they could go wherever they wanted.
“Zeke would let us stay. But there are lots of people at the church,” she said. Though Esper agreed to follow where Roza led, it did not stop her steering their direction when the other girl was unsure. And she did it now as they walked, her thoughts plucked by the memory of the singing boy.
“Cruz had a fancy house,” she agreed. In fact it had been lavish. “I could convince him to let us stay.”
Staying someplace fancy sounded like fun. But that had been his parents place and if Roza remembered correctly he lived with some dork roommates who started Cruz's whole down fall. Roza shook her head. "If it was the big place, but he lives in a crappy apartment with roommates I think. He doesn't stay with his parents." She sighed. And it was cold.
"I'm sorry. I ... We could go get our jackets. find your sweet boy now that it's not dangerous. At least I don't think it is. It's not far from here, and it'll be warm. And we can stay if it's quiet. Until we know what we want to do?" She didn't really know what to do. And Esper probably felt every ounce of her uncertainty. She didn't regret the decision, she just wasn't sure what to do now.
Esper squeezed Roza’s hand in a way she hoped imparted some comfort. A push would have been easier, and probably more successful, but it was a promise she’d never broken; to never use it upon Roza without her permission. She glanced across at her as they walked, a sinister mischief in her hazel eyes as they deliberated their options.
“I could make his parents love us. They would let us stay if they loved us.” Her lips quirked into a slightly unnerving smile, and she laughed a little. What would Cruz make of that?
But Roza’s thoughts headed them in the direction Esper wanted them to go, so she didn’t say anymore about it.
“Our sweet boy,” she corrected. Her eyes had gone all glittery with the anticipation, but it was an important distinction to make. Their jackets would probably be useful now that their entire life was condensed down to the bags shared between them, but Esper barely gave it another thought. This time when she squeezed Roza’s hand it was excitement on her part. She was usually the more sedate of the two of them, but her steps were practically spritely as she let Roza lead the way back to the party house.
[[continued at
The Morning After]]