The First Age

Full Version: Jensen James jets the globe in five hours flat (New: Update!)
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The Dallas Source
Blogger Lex Teasdale

September 21, 2041

Say bye, bye to the scandalous days of shocking sex tapes leaked from Hollywood and Washington. The video that's taken the country by storm comes from a clean cut, home-grown Texas cowboy speaking the good word!

By day, Jensen James is the charismatic, sweet-talking conservative standing up for strict moral fortitude and religious reformation. You've seen him, no doubt, flipping channels on the weekend, center stage before ten-thousand churchgoers hanging on his every word. By night, he's a steamy punchline come true!

Congratulations to us! The camera was rolling, and somebody was caught with their pants down. Or more accurately: nowhere in sight!

Five years to become a religious household name might be fast, but five hours to circle the globe? Now that’s an impressive fan base! The good preacher's audience has grown faster than you can say 'Ride 'em cowboy! He’s been spotted in everything from stand-up to late-night. This is your fifteen minutes, brother! Get yourself a book deal while you can.

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Update - September 21, 2041

The steamy partner in the Good Preacher's video has been identified as gay-for-pay Latin American prosti-dude Tomas Alvarez. Shit just hit the fan!

Meanwhile, Mrs. James asserts her husband “is not gay.” Keep telling yourself that darlin’. No wonder his car was spotted South of the border.