09-02-2018, 02:45 PM
I can't tell you. The plea stuck in his throat when Natalie confronted him. It felt like betrayal, him hoarding secrets. But crushing regret would have to wait. For now, Jay's priority was getting all of them safely away.
Which was why the SUV blurred across county roads. There were basically no signs indicating what went where. Only a native could make any sense of the endlessness. Jay could make this drive in his sleep. In fact, he probably had more times than he'd admit.
The car was less tense only for the confidence in the miles opening between them and the hospital. He licked his lips a lot and rummaged around for water bottles discarded on the journey from the airport, hoping for a last few drops to ease the ache in the back of his throat. To the family, the destination was clear. The reason he took turns at dangerous speeds was less apparent and often met with an uproar of objections to recklessness.
He ignored the questions fully aware of how insane he was behaving. When dad raised his voice to the level of a demand, Jay almost slammed on the brakes just to drag him out by the collar for a chat. Instead, the burn of anger tensed his muscles to death gripping the wheel as he looked in the rear-view mirror.
Jay was more aware of their perception than they thought. He'd asked for trust. He'd spent the last year saving all their necks, kept the lights on, and fixed the farm's books from afar. His sweat dug them out of the hole that was deepened by a cancer that never fucking existed. Cayli had the Sickness the whole time and his parents were too blinded by prejudice to face reality. Reality was they had two children that could channel and if they didn't accept it, they risked losing both to worser fates. Dammit Jay was not going to let his family fall apart after all this time holding them together at the seams.
Whatever dad saw in the mirror was enough to stifle the incessant questioning. Jay glanced at Natalie a moment, careful to avoid Cayli glimpsing the darkness. This was pretty much his worst nightmare and she witnessed the powerlessness to stop it. Probably should have made him sick, but there were stronger emotions dulling the weakness to a dull roar. Jay kept driving.
About a mile before he reached the house, their speed slowed significantly below the limit. The change sparked silent glances among the passengers but blessed silence shrouded the interior. Jay had little focus on them anyway. The SUV rolled forward carefully. The ditches along both sides seemed undisturbed. Grasses were untrampled. Trees too small to hide anything bigger than a gas can, which was why he searched for broken stalks and foot prints instead.
He held his breath for the turn from asphalt to gravel that was the drive leading up to the house. It was thankfully an uneventful drive except for the fact he was plunging straight back to a place he had no intention of returning like this. A nice Christmas holiday maybe. Aunt Sarah could bring that incredible cherry pie. Some snow piled up where the front-loaders shoved it out of the way. So long as it was the nice kind of cold and not the kill-you-slowly but not fast-enough kind of cold. The swing of an axe and scent of evergreen as he dragged back the tree. Hanging lights along the gutter as mom and Cayli yelled out corrections to the design. Now that would be a nice homecoming.
This was pretty much as terrible as it could be. Though, it would be worse if there was a funeral in their future. Natalie prevented that fate. He would owe her the rest of his life with a debt he could never settle. Unless she caught herself in a third fire for him to save her from the flames? She was unlikely to appreciate the morbid sarcasm. Then again. Maybe not. Probably not the time, though.
He parked near the front door. There was a driveway that led to an unattached garage, but nobody used it unless there was a foot of snow in the forecast or maybe if there was hail in an approaching storm. t in this part of the country, nasty storms popped up unexpected enough that there often not enough warning to move the cars indoors.
Beyond the garage loomed a barn that was painted a fresh coat of red over a year ago. One of the tasks that Jay assigned to himself to fill the void that was every endless day when he found himself dumped home unexpectedly. A small measure of pride swelled despite the morbidity of the situation. There hadn't been time to paint the house, also. Its age showed.
Everyone filed out. Cayli sprinted to the front door begging Natalie to follow so she could show off her bedroom (and probably get more secret channeling practice). Mom and dad dragged themselves to the porch while Jay was distracted with scanning every last inch of the grounds for anything out of the ordinary. He seized the power of the Ascendancy to give him the senses he needed. Every blade of grass seemed in sharp focus. The stomp and creak of animals in the barn echoed closer than naturally should. The smell of dirt, manure, and last night's rain swirled. He'd kill to have had this power as a Raider. The nights he stared into darkness willing the enemy to show themselves. The times he swam against beating waves crashing onto shore or diving from the air into a landing pad of the unknown, the power could have changed every single tactic the Raiders used. Not to mention the silent macabre of death walking the dark without having to fire a single round of ammunition. Put two or three channeling Raiders together and they would have been unstoppable. Kind of a terrifying thought. Especially since just that kind of assignment in Africa awaited.
"Stop!" He ordered without thought for the command in his tone that expected obedience. Cayli looked up, confusion and impatience writ on her freshly brightened expression. God he was glad to see her so passionately strong.
"Give me the house key," he snatched it as mom dug it out of her purse and pushed his way forward.
"Go back by Jensen and Natalie," he told Cayli as he came to the door. She wasn't happy about it, but Jay wasn't kidding. There weren't many times she could recall him acting like this, so she grumbled about it, but obeyed.
He called back to the others, "Stay by the car until I get back out. It should be a minute." Jensen would know if there was reason for alarm. Any uptick in channeling should be a red flag.
He disappeared inside the house, screen door slamming on creaky hinges behind him.
What he saw made his heart sink. The living room was dark, or would be if it wasn't for the power brightening the world unnaturally. Furniture was all in place. No sounds but for an old clock ticking along a soothing rhythm. He fell asleep listening to those endless ticks many a night when restlessness pulled his soul elsewhere. Fireplace was cold. The pictures on the mantle remained - Cayli's most recent class picture alongside Jay in his baseball uniform: a bright, proud, cocky kid. Damn he missed baseball.
But it was the graduation portrait on the other side that forced him to look elsewhere. The brim of the cap pulled low to his eyes. The dress blues crisp and untainted. The flag draped behind. He considered turning the frame over, but he couldn't bring himself to do it. That guy suffered too much and worked too hard to just erase the memory like it never happened. That day was the best of his life, and he wasn't dead. Not yet anyway. He left it alone and quickly searched the house.
A minute later he waved everyone inside. Once there, he took a breath and explained best he could.
"Pack some overnight bags. I'm taking all of us to a hotel until I figure out what to do." The only hotel in reasonable distance was one he'd rather cut off his arm than stay there... But it had at least a modicum of security. Casinos put up reasonable efforts at keeping weapons off the property.
Not surprisingly, outbursts followed the announcement.
He really didn't want to scare Cayli, but the girl was smart, and she'd already been lied to for a year in the name of her best interests. Jay made mistakes before, but he wasn't going to repeat them again.
"There's someone that wants to hurt this family." (aka: kidnap, torture and eventually execute. Probably shouldn't say it that way.)
His gaze fixed on Cayli. "I won't let that happen." (aka: I will burn down the building before anyone laid a hand on you.)
"Take fifteen minutes to pack and we're getting back in the car." (aka: if its not in a bag, you're leaving it behind).
His voice softened, ignoring the tirade of questions and disbelief that followed as he made his way to the door. There was nothing inside he wanted except everything in the gun-safe, but would be a better guard out there anyway.
"I'll be checking the barn." (aka: I want out of this house as quickly as possible).
Which was why the SUV blurred across county roads. There were basically no signs indicating what went where. Only a native could make any sense of the endlessness. Jay could make this drive in his sleep. In fact, he probably had more times than he'd admit.
The car was less tense only for the confidence in the miles opening between them and the hospital. He licked his lips a lot and rummaged around for water bottles discarded on the journey from the airport, hoping for a last few drops to ease the ache in the back of his throat. To the family, the destination was clear. The reason he took turns at dangerous speeds was less apparent and often met with an uproar of objections to recklessness.
He ignored the questions fully aware of how insane he was behaving. When dad raised his voice to the level of a demand, Jay almost slammed on the brakes just to drag him out by the collar for a chat. Instead, the burn of anger tensed his muscles to death gripping the wheel as he looked in the rear-view mirror.
Jay was more aware of their perception than they thought. He'd asked for trust. He'd spent the last year saving all their necks, kept the lights on, and fixed the farm's books from afar. His sweat dug them out of the hole that was deepened by a cancer that never fucking existed. Cayli had the Sickness the whole time and his parents were too blinded by prejudice to face reality. Reality was they had two children that could channel and if they didn't accept it, they risked losing both to worser fates. Dammit Jay was not going to let his family fall apart after all this time holding them together at the seams.
Whatever dad saw in the mirror was enough to stifle the incessant questioning. Jay glanced at Natalie a moment, careful to avoid Cayli glimpsing the darkness. This was pretty much his worst nightmare and she witnessed the powerlessness to stop it. Probably should have made him sick, but there were stronger emotions dulling the weakness to a dull roar. Jay kept driving.
About a mile before he reached the house, their speed slowed significantly below the limit. The change sparked silent glances among the passengers but blessed silence shrouded the interior. Jay had little focus on them anyway. The SUV rolled forward carefully. The ditches along both sides seemed undisturbed. Grasses were untrampled. Trees too small to hide anything bigger than a gas can, which was why he searched for broken stalks and foot prints instead.
He held his breath for the turn from asphalt to gravel that was the drive leading up to the house. It was thankfully an uneventful drive except for the fact he was plunging straight back to a place he had no intention of returning like this. A nice Christmas holiday maybe. Aunt Sarah could bring that incredible cherry pie. Some snow piled up where the front-loaders shoved it out of the way. So long as it was the nice kind of cold and not the kill-you-slowly but not fast-enough kind of cold. The swing of an axe and scent of evergreen as he dragged back the tree. Hanging lights along the gutter as mom and Cayli yelled out corrections to the design. Now that would be a nice homecoming.
This was pretty much as terrible as it could be. Though, it would be worse if there was a funeral in their future. Natalie prevented that fate. He would owe her the rest of his life with a debt he could never settle. Unless she caught herself in a third fire for him to save her from the flames? She was unlikely to appreciate the morbid sarcasm. Then again. Maybe not. Probably not the time, though.
He parked near the front door. There was a driveway that led to an unattached garage, but nobody used it unless there was a foot of snow in the forecast or maybe if there was hail in an approaching storm. t in this part of the country, nasty storms popped up unexpected enough that there often not enough warning to move the cars indoors.
Beyond the garage loomed a barn that was painted a fresh coat of red over a year ago. One of the tasks that Jay assigned to himself to fill the void that was every endless day when he found himself dumped home unexpectedly. A small measure of pride swelled despite the morbidity of the situation. There hadn't been time to paint the house, also. Its age showed.
Everyone filed out. Cayli sprinted to the front door begging Natalie to follow so she could show off her bedroom (and probably get more secret channeling practice). Mom and dad dragged themselves to the porch while Jay was distracted with scanning every last inch of the grounds for anything out of the ordinary. He seized the power of the Ascendancy to give him the senses he needed. Every blade of grass seemed in sharp focus. The stomp and creak of animals in the barn echoed closer than naturally should. The smell of dirt, manure, and last night's rain swirled. He'd kill to have had this power as a Raider. The nights he stared into darkness willing the enemy to show themselves. The times he swam against beating waves crashing onto shore or diving from the air into a landing pad of the unknown, the power could have changed every single tactic the Raiders used. Not to mention the silent macabre of death walking the dark without having to fire a single round of ammunition. Put two or three channeling Raiders together and they would have been unstoppable. Kind of a terrifying thought. Especially since just that kind of assignment in Africa awaited.
"Stop!" He ordered without thought for the command in his tone that expected obedience. Cayli looked up, confusion and impatience writ on her freshly brightened expression. God he was glad to see her so passionately strong.
"Give me the house key," he snatched it as mom dug it out of her purse and pushed his way forward.
"Go back by Jensen and Natalie," he told Cayli as he came to the door. She wasn't happy about it, but Jay wasn't kidding. There weren't many times she could recall him acting like this, so she grumbled about it, but obeyed.
He called back to the others, "Stay by the car until I get back out. It should be a minute." Jensen would know if there was reason for alarm. Any uptick in channeling should be a red flag.
He disappeared inside the house, screen door slamming on creaky hinges behind him.
What he saw made his heart sink. The living room was dark, or would be if it wasn't for the power brightening the world unnaturally. Furniture was all in place. No sounds but for an old clock ticking along a soothing rhythm. He fell asleep listening to those endless ticks many a night when restlessness pulled his soul elsewhere. Fireplace was cold. The pictures on the mantle remained - Cayli's most recent class picture alongside Jay in his baseball uniform: a bright, proud, cocky kid. Damn he missed baseball.
But it was the graduation portrait on the other side that forced him to look elsewhere. The brim of the cap pulled low to his eyes. The dress blues crisp and untainted. The flag draped behind. He considered turning the frame over, but he couldn't bring himself to do it. That guy suffered too much and worked too hard to just erase the memory like it never happened. That day was the best of his life, and he wasn't dead. Not yet anyway. He left it alone and quickly searched the house.
A minute later he waved everyone inside. Once there, he took a breath and explained best he could.
"Pack some overnight bags. I'm taking all of us to a hotel until I figure out what to do." The only hotel in reasonable distance was one he'd rather cut off his arm than stay there... But it had at least a modicum of security. Casinos put up reasonable efforts at keeping weapons off the property.
Not surprisingly, outbursts followed the announcement.
He really didn't want to scare Cayli, but the girl was smart, and she'd already been lied to for a year in the name of her best interests. Jay made mistakes before, but he wasn't going to repeat them again.
"There's someone that wants to hurt this family." (aka: kidnap, torture and eventually execute. Probably shouldn't say it that way.)
His gaze fixed on Cayli. "I won't let that happen." (aka: I will burn down the building before anyone laid a hand on you.)
"Take fifteen minutes to pack and we're getting back in the car." (aka: if its not in a bag, you're leaving it behind).
His voice softened, ignoring the tirade of questions and disbelief that followed as he made his way to the door. There was nothing inside he wanted except everything in the gun-safe, but would be a better guard out there anyway.
"I'll be checking the barn." (aka: I want out of this house as quickly as possible).
Only darkness shows you the light.