Lih prepared himself.
He was ready, utterly terrified of embarrassment, failure and reaction, but ready. His mind had been drawing weapons on terrible thoughts on that subject all this time. How would this Nox or Dorian’s son feel about seeing him, would Lih set off these traps, would Dorian be angry if Lih ran away, these three questions especially were too frightened to step into the building.
Had the dog not seen him he would have fled; he was in the process of doing so when he was caught. He thought he had been afraid earlier; now his body was in full flight defense mode and he trembled as they came closer. The landscape ahead, split by outcrops of granite and a quartz-y rock, looked like wet hair. Through it, the towering figure of the Vega estate could be seen.
He knew he was trembling, knew he shouldn’t be, but… Dorian had looked so amused, calm about the Atharim hunting traitors and gods like Nox that Lih was quietly astonished. He could never have believed he would hear such encouraging words from one of the senior detectives, especially a former Atharim.
“…”
Words failed him. Completely paralyzed he couldn’t smile or laugh or even grimace. There was so much he wanted to say, to apologize, to plead forgiveness for crying; to say how glad he was to have met Dorian and how Lih gave his best but haven’t got the balls; he couldn’t get up and get used to killing; especially the last. But no, his body betrayed him and he stood frozen looking as Dorian played with the alarm settings.
Then Lih saw the damn gun on the table and his heart stopped. He almost tripped over his own stupid feet. But Lih caught himself and glanced around. This place was rich, bright like a star in the darkness, painfully bright to his straining eye-sight.
He followed Dorian, uncertainly.
That wasn’t going to fly, no sirs and mademoiselles, not an inch on the hardwood floor of the Vega estate… Things would come, evolve, but it would take time, and it certainly wouldn’t be forced.
Dorian was on his feet and helped himself to a glass of Saint-Emilion grand cru. He offered a drink to Lih.
“Oh, yes. Wine, please!” Breathlessly. Desperately.
He realized his hands were shaking and he was slopping red wine out of the glass. He set it down and sucked the drops off the ball of his thumb.
The wine tasted better than he imagined, and his body was warmed. He remembered the last time he drank with Costa, remembered the spark that had flashed through his blood and pleasurable sense of rightness. Lih became so giddy he’d swayed and would have fallen if it weren’t for his partner’s embrace.
He missed Costa. Didn’t know why Costa leaving was so hard this time. They weren’t partners anymore, not here. He must come around the idea that the future of both their careers lies with the domovoi--not with each other. New duties await them, new challenges... That was fair, but admittedly it stung a little. He’d deliberately not thought about that too-painful feeling for some time.
There was a sudden bang. The dull thump of it echoed through the study, and made distant voices bark.
“Did something explode?” asked Lih brightly.
Vitya Lih
He was ready, utterly terrified of embarrassment, failure and reaction, but ready. His mind had been drawing weapons on terrible thoughts on that subject all this time. How would this Nox or Dorian’s son feel about seeing him, would Lih set off these traps, would Dorian be angry if Lih ran away, these three questions especially were too frightened to step into the building.
Had the dog not seen him he would have fled; he was in the process of doing so when he was caught. He thought he had been afraid earlier; now his body was in full flight defense mode and he trembled as they came closer. The landscape ahead, split by outcrops of granite and a quartz-y rock, looked like wet hair. Through it, the towering figure of the Vega estate could be seen.
He knew he was trembling, knew he shouldn’t be, but… Dorian had looked so amused, calm about the Atharim hunting traitors and gods like Nox that Lih was quietly astonished. He could never have believed he would hear such encouraging words from one of the senior detectives, especially a former Atharim.
“…”
Words failed him. Completely paralyzed he couldn’t smile or laugh or even grimace. There was so much he wanted to say, to apologize, to plead forgiveness for crying; to say how glad he was to have met Dorian and how Lih gave his best but haven’t got the balls; he couldn’t get up and get used to killing; especially the last. But no, his body betrayed him and he stood frozen looking as Dorian played with the alarm settings.
Then Lih saw the damn gun on the table and his heart stopped. He almost tripped over his own stupid feet. But Lih caught himself and glanced around. This place was rich, bright like a star in the darkness, painfully bright to his straining eye-sight.
He followed Dorian, uncertainly.
That wasn’t going to fly, no sirs and mademoiselles, not an inch on the hardwood floor of the Vega estate… Things would come, evolve, but it would take time, and it certainly wouldn’t be forced.
Dorian was on his feet and helped himself to a glass of Saint-Emilion grand cru. He offered a drink to Lih.
“Oh, yes. Wine, please!” Breathlessly. Desperately.
He realized his hands were shaking and he was slopping red wine out of the glass. He set it down and sucked the drops off the ball of his thumb.
The wine tasted better than he imagined, and his body was warmed. He remembered the last time he drank with Costa, remembered the spark that had flashed through his blood and pleasurable sense of rightness. Lih became so giddy he’d swayed and would have fallen if it weren’t for his partner’s embrace.
He missed Costa. Didn’t know why Costa leaving was so hard this time. They weren’t partners anymore, not here. He must come around the idea that the future of both their careers lies with the domovoi--not with each other. New duties await them, new challenges... That was fair, but admittedly it stung a little. He’d deliberately not thought about that too-painful feeling for some time.
There was a sudden bang. The dull thump of it echoed through the study, and made distant voices bark.
“Did something explode?” asked Lih brightly.
Vitya Lih