11-03-2018, 12:33 AM
She’d been watching Ivan interact with her daughter ever since he’d arrived. Their daughter. Even if she’d known since learning she was with child five years prior, Zara had been just hers for so long. Sharing that had been an unexpected barrier to overcome in her mind. Even if she knew in her heart that it would be the best thing for Zara; to know and have her father too. This was not going to be an easy transition should it work out. Not easy for the adults anyway. Kids were remarkably resilient but still needed someone to look after their best interests. Whether they wanted it or not.
She turned her gaze back. A mother’s gaze. “A couple of hours, Ivan.” There was a warning in her tone but a gentle one. Impulsive. Had he always been that way? “Being a good father isn’t just playing with Legos and reading books...” ...and making her little girl laugh. God, that laugh! The no-nonsense expression she adopted was aimed just a little toward herself too for almost giving in to those blue eyes. Not that he needed to know that right now. “You have to grow up at some point, Ivan.” A very open look said exactly what she thought about his injuries. “I’m not going to tell you what to do; you’re a grown man.” You need to sort yourself out is what. She gestured at his face. “Whatever that is, can’t come here and those things tend to follow people home.”
Danya’s eyes dropped to the form of her sleeping child. “You love me? This isn’t for me, Ivan. This isn’t about us.” That was not something she'd even allow herself to consider right now. She sighed, completely understanding the man’s feelings for the little girl he’d just met. “I’m sorry. I’m sorry I kept her for myself. It was selfish and...and mean.” She swallowed down her emotions. “This was a baby step.” That didn’t make her feel any better, she’d kept that for herself too. “Time, is what I’m saying, this can’t happen all at once.” Danya looked at Ivan and there would be no question what she was thinking. “I...Zara can’t have you just…” She pulled herself together, the speech had gone much more smoothly that morning in her head. “It’s all or nothing Ivan, with her. Take some time to think about things.” Whatever it is you’re doing to yourself. “Think about what that really means. Then let me know what you decide. For Zara.” She immediately regretted phrasing it that way. “I didn’t mean it that way. I mean, I’m not holding her over you.” Danya looked, really looked at Ivan. He could see through her too when she let him in. “You’re a good man. I know in my heart you can be a good father too.”
She turned her gaze back. A mother’s gaze. “A couple of hours, Ivan.” There was a warning in her tone but a gentle one. Impulsive. Had he always been that way? “Being a good father isn’t just playing with Legos and reading books...” ...and making her little girl laugh. God, that laugh! The no-nonsense expression she adopted was aimed just a little toward herself too for almost giving in to those blue eyes. Not that he needed to know that right now. “You have to grow up at some point, Ivan.” A very open look said exactly what she thought about his injuries. “I’m not going to tell you what to do; you’re a grown man.” You need to sort yourself out is what. She gestured at his face. “Whatever that is, can’t come here and those things tend to follow people home.”
Danya’s eyes dropped to the form of her sleeping child. “You love me? This isn’t for me, Ivan. This isn’t about us.” That was not something she'd even allow herself to consider right now. She sighed, completely understanding the man’s feelings for the little girl he’d just met. “I’m sorry. I’m sorry I kept her for myself. It was selfish and...and mean.” She swallowed down her emotions. “This was a baby step.” That didn’t make her feel any better, she’d kept that for herself too. “Time, is what I’m saying, this can’t happen all at once.” Danya looked at Ivan and there would be no question what she was thinking. “I...Zara can’t have you just…” She pulled herself together, the speech had gone much more smoothly that morning in her head. “It’s all or nothing Ivan, with her. Take some time to think about things.” Whatever it is you’re doing to yourself. “Think about what that really means. Then let me know what you decide. For Zara.” She immediately regretted phrasing it that way. “I didn’t mean it that way. I mean, I’m not holding her over you.” Danya looked, really looked at Ivan. He could see through her too when she let him in. “You’re a good man. I know in my heart you can be a good father too.”