01-07-2019, 05:02 PM
Ebony ran in, followed by Siobhan and Aiden. They crowded around Lih’s untidily folded form. Lih’s white-gold head was bowed. His skin was pale, as though shock had sucked blood out of him when he fell over. Lih didn’t know what to do.
In the face of so much concern— for him! he was speechless. Hooray for me, then.
Lih stared at Siobhan. He wasn’t used to being spoken to, or even acknowledged by many women.
His hands were shaking. He wanted to take a pill, but he didn’t want Siobhan or Aiden to see. He’d almost enjoyed being the center of such attention.
“I'm…," he said, and faltered. He breathed deeply and tried again.
“I’m alright,” he managed to say. They’d helped him up, steadied him. He composed himself and explained. “Just tired."
Slipping and falling.
He hadn’t been sleeping. He was bone tired, and didn’t want to show it. He wanted to impress the other police officers. He’d always considered himself fit, but detective training was punishing.
He’d spent a lot of time reading the domovoi cases Alex recommended. The trouble was, he believed them, the wit and words of officers who seemed so much fitter and stronger than Lih. They didn’t make him feel any better about killing, and, if he couldn’t even convince himself, he stood no chance of putting fire into his belly and killing monsters. When he thought about it like that, Lih felt the fear inside him grow. It made him want to throw back another pill or two, but he didn’t have his supply. His hands trembled.
He wished… he wished he wasn’t afraid. He wasn’t afraid. Not of death. He was afraid of living. Afraid of the things he’ll have to do before death took him. Pain, injury, fleeting things like that. He was afraid of life and the effort life took.
He didn’t want to be found wanting. Didn’t want to die knowing those around him despised him or thought he’d let them down. He didn’t want to face… the afterlife with question marks on the account of his life. The things he was expected to do before he died. Duty. Courage. Fortitude. Sacrifice. Those were difficult things.
In the far end of the kitchen, he watched as Sage crossed to Aiden, kneeling next to him, pouring him wine. Lih meant nothing to Sage, why should he? Lih was incredibly young. Incredibly stupid, too. He had a crush on everybody...
Caring. Gentle. There were more reasons than just good looks to admire Sage Parker. Lih kept watching as Sage and Aiden spoke quietly. He assumed they were talking about what happened. Lih tried to remember the last time anyone had looked him in the eyes the way Sage was looking at Aiden.
Lih looked Sage in the eye.
“Thank you.”
Lih sat back and wiped his hand across his mouth. He set the water glass down, taking a deep breath. “Let’s stop worrying about me, shall we.” he said, rather too fast, as brightly as he could manage. “What about the mess?”
He stared.
Lih was silent for a time.
“Forget it,” he said at last, closing his eyes and shaking his head. “It’s not my business."
In the face of so much concern— for him! he was speechless. Hooray for me, then.
Lih stared at Siobhan. He wasn’t used to being spoken to, or even acknowledged by many women.
His hands were shaking. He wanted to take a pill, but he didn’t want Siobhan or Aiden to see. He’d almost enjoyed being the center of such attention.
“I'm…," he said, and faltered. He breathed deeply and tried again.
“I’m alright,” he managed to say. They’d helped him up, steadied him. He composed himself and explained. “Just tired."
Slipping and falling.
He hadn’t been sleeping. He was bone tired, and didn’t want to show it. He wanted to impress the other police officers. He’d always considered himself fit, but detective training was punishing.
He’d spent a lot of time reading the domovoi cases Alex recommended. The trouble was, he believed them, the wit and words of officers who seemed so much fitter and stronger than Lih. They didn’t make him feel any better about killing, and, if he couldn’t even convince himself, he stood no chance of putting fire into his belly and killing monsters. When he thought about it like that, Lih felt the fear inside him grow. It made him want to throw back another pill or two, but he didn’t have his supply. His hands trembled.
He wished… he wished he wasn’t afraid. He wasn’t afraid. Not of death. He was afraid of living. Afraid of the things he’ll have to do before death took him. Pain, injury, fleeting things like that. He was afraid of life and the effort life took.
He didn’t want to be found wanting. Didn’t want to die knowing those around him despised him or thought he’d let them down. He didn’t want to face… the afterlife with question marks on the account of his life. The things he was expected to do before he died. Duty. Courage. Fortitude. Sacrifice. Those were difficult things.
In the far end of the kitchen, he watched as Sage crossed to Aiden, kneeling next to him, pouring him wine. Lih meant nothing to Sage, why should he? Lih was incredibly young. Incredibly stupid, too. He had a crush on everybody...
Caring. Gentle. There were more reasons than just good looks to admire Sage Parker. Lih kept watching as Sage and Aiden spoke quietly. He assumed they were talking about what happened. Lih tried to remember the last time anyone had looked him in the eyes the way Sage was looking at Aiden.
Lih looked Sage in the eye.
“Thank you.”
Lih sat back and wiped his hand across his mouth. He set the water glass down, taking a deep breath. “Let’s stop worrying about me, shall we.” he said, rather too fast, as brightly as he could manage. “What about the mess?”
He stared.
Lih was silent for a time.
“Forget it,” he said at last, closing his eyes and shaking his head. “It’s not my business."
Viktor Lih
Officer of CCDPD
Officer of CCDPD