10-31-2020, 12:11 AM
He sat alongside her, arms draped across his knees and peered out into the water as he had done so many times as a lad. Sierra’s melancholy scent dragged at his soul but not enough to dislodge what was built up within his own.
He never asked for Sierra’s help, he thought defensively. She treated him like a child. It was demeaning and condescending, always warning him about this and that, or reminding him of his infantile experience with the wolves.
He felt caged again. Like an animal locked in those rolling circus carts for the spectacle he was. For all their time spent together, he knew very little about Sierra’s life. Her real life, lived as a girl. If she had friends, she rarely spoke of them. Her parents were presumably gone, but that was obviously for the best.
“I’m different in the dream,” he finally said. Then he tossed a pebble into the water and watched the ripples fade as they hit shore. “I am certain of myself, and then suddenly, something happens that changes it all. I treated you like shit. Doing what we did in the dream and then pretending it never happened once we woke.” He hung his head, purposefully not looking at her, and instead grabbed another pebble and tossed it farther than the last.
He turned the stone over in his hand. It was cool. Worn down by years of water. “Nimeda isn’t a friend like you think. I did with her what I did with you, and like with you, I will probably pretend it never happened. I don't even know her.”
Nimeda wasn't even the reason he was here. This time, when he tossed the pebble, he wondered if she felt its disturbance.
Then his voice fell to a whisper, like he spoke to himself as much as to Sierra.
“I think it’s because I’m closer to them while there.”
He never asked for Sierra’s help, he thought defensively. She treated him like a child. It was demeaning and condescending, always warning him about this and that, or reminding him of his infantile experience with the wolves.
He felt caged again. Like an animal locked in those rolling circus carts for the spectacle he was. For all their time spent together, he knew very little about Sierra’s life. Her real life, lived as a girl. If she had friends, she rarely spoke of them. Her parents were presumably gone, but that was obviously for the best.
“I’m different in the dream,” he finally said. Then he tossed a pebble into the water and watched the ripples fade as they hit shore. “I am certain of myself, and then suddenly, something happens that changes it all. I treated you like shit. Doing what we did in the dream and then pretending it never happened once we woke.” He hung his head, purposefully not looking at her, and instead grabbed another pebble and tossed it farther than the last.
He turned the stone over in his hand. It was cool. Worn down by years of water. “Nimeda isn’t a friend like you think. I did with her what I did with you, and like with you, I will probably pretend it never happened. I don't even know her.”
Nimeda wasn't even the reason he was here. This time, when he tossed the pebble, he wondered if she felt its disturbance.
Then his voice fell to a whisper, like he spoke to himself as much as to Sierra.
“I think it’s because I’m closer to them while there.”