2 hours ago
Jay’s eyes clamped shut. The words hit like shrapnel in the back. There was a stinging heat behind his eyelids that spoke of too much fire. But fuck it. If he was going to walk through the flames, he might as well let himself burn in them.
He spun back. His chest felt like it was packed with wet concrete. Fists tight enough to ache. “It’s all I thought about!”
The outburst felt like a physical rupture. He stared at Nox until the man blurred into a shapeless silhouette. He looked at the gate until it was just a jagged line against a gray sky. His stomach turned over, a slow, sick lurch that made the words taste like acid.
“I’m telling you I want to die,” Jay rasped. The volume was gone, replaced by a jagged, broken edge. “And you don't ask me why.”
He went still. Dead still. He stared at a patch of dirt by his boots, tracing the lines of it like he was measuring the dimensions of his own grave. He didn't sob. He didn't make a sound. But the tears tracked down his face anyway. Slow, hot, and silent. Like his soul was bleeding out, and there was no will power left to plug the holes.
He spun back. His chest felt like it was packed with wet concrete. Fists tight enough to ache. “It’s all I thought about!”
The outburst felt like a physical rupture. He stared at Nox until the man blurred into a shapeless silhouette. He looked at the gate until it was just a jagged line against a gray sky. His stomach turned over, a slow, sick lurch that made the words taste like acid.
“I’m telling you I want to die,” Jay rasped. The volume was gone, replaced by a jagged, broken edge. “And you don't ask me why.”
He went still. Dead still. He stared at a patch of dirt by his boots, tracing the lines of it like he was measuring the dimensions of his own grave. He didn't sob. He didn't make a sound. But the tears tracked down his face anyway. Slow, hot, and silent. Like his soul was bleeding out, and there was no will power left to plug the holes.
Only darkness shows you the light.