2 hours ago
Jay didn’t pull away from Nox’s hand. The tears didn’t stop either.
They slid down his face in slow, burning tracks like sweat in the desert. He didn’t wipe them away. Didn’t bother to blink them back. Let them fall. Let the cold air take them. He stood there with his feet planted, shoulders squared, jaw locked so tight it ached, like the tension alone could keep his bones from shaking.
Nearby, the gate waited. The car idled. Soldiers watched like they were two bullseyes in their sights.
“I’m not mad,” Jay said. His voice was cut glass, but steady enough to keep from collapsing.
Another tear slipped free. Then another. His fists clenched at his sides until the tendons stood tight, white-hot pressure keeping him from falling into the grave he imagined digging for himself. He glanced toward the soldiers, watching them in turn, daring them to invade this vulnerable moment, then back to Nox.
“I can’t go with you,” he said, meeting his gaze, voice gravel. “I’m on duty. But I’m not asking you to stay either. I just wanted you to know I’m drowning.” His chest rose and fell once.
“I’ve been waiting to do it. I don’t know why.” He stepped back then. Just half a step. Just enough to reclaim some space without slamming the door. The tears were still coming. Silent and relentless.
“That’s all,” Jay said softly. “I just wanted you to hear me.”
They slid down his face in slow, burning tracks like sweat in the desert. He didn’t wipe them away. Didn’t bother to blink them back. Let them fall. Let the cold air take them. He stood there with his feet planted, shoulders squared, jaw locked so tight it ached, like the tension alone could keep his bones from shaking.
Nearby, the gate waited. The car idled. Soldiers watched like they were two bullseyes in their sights.
“I’m not mad,” Jay said. His voice was cut glass, but steady enough to keep from collapsing.
Another tear slipped free. Then another. His fists clenched at his sides until the tendons stood tight, white-hot pressure keeping him from falling into the grave he imagined digging for himself. He glanced toward the soldiers, watching them in turn, daring them to invade this vulnerable moment, then back to Nox.
“I can’t go with you,” he said, meeting his gaze, voice gravel. “I’m on duty. But I’m not asking you to stay either. I just wanted you to know I’m drowning.” His chest rose and fell once.
“I’ve been waiting to do it. I don’t know why.” He stepped back then. Just half a step. Just enough to reclaim some space without slamming the door. The tears were still coming. Silent and relentless.
“That’s all,” Jay said softly. “I just wanted you to hear me.”
Only darkness shows you the light.