12-03-2014, 12:55 PM
Being in the Church, in that meeting helped calm him. Listening to his companions talk about their struggles- the failures and triumphs- helped center him. The routine brought about a sense of peace. He still was unsure about the not going to the police, but he did trust Aria. This was her world.
At one point, he felt compelled to share his own fall last night. He was slightly worried that he would see looks of disappointment in their eyes- condemnation as a failure- but that had been his own insecurity. They were accepting and encouraging. They even pointed out how he'd only had two drinks- and not even finished the last. They commended him on that.
A part of him accepted that as true- he hadn't gotten drunk, it was true. But would he have stopped? With Aria's father there, pushing him deeper into that whole, it was very likely. But in this case, he decided he was not completely to blame. He could forgive himself the slip.
The thought of getting caught again terrified him.
After the meeting, he went into the Church proper to genuflect and pray. The vastness of the house- the high vaulted walls and columns, the echoes- only served to emphasize to him how little he was. The statue of the Lord on the Cross looking down on him only served to reinforce to him the need to submit fully, to recognize that he was not in control of this. God was. But his power was infinite. The words of St. Paul came to him. "There is nothing I cannot do in the One who strengthens me." He felt strengthened.
Feeling better, he went to confession. He mentioned the drinking of course. But mostly, he confessed his repeated lustful thoughts. He thought about Aria a lot. And then....well, it didn't help he still remembered what she looked like naked. It had stayed with him through that whole night. In the end, he was glad he had been so out of it emotionally, otherwise he might have acted on it. He smiled. Thank you Lord, for the strength.
The priest gave his penance and absolved him. He felt much better than he had. Now he had work to do.
He found Aria outside waiting. He smiled at her. He did trust her. In stuff like that, she was the expert. It still bothered him to imagine how she had grown up. So lonely. Unloved. But the only thing he could do now was help her find a way to a better life.
And in the meantime, they had a girl to find. "I'm glad you came."
He took her hand and held it in both of his, looking down at her. "Will you help me find her? She needs help."
At one point, he felt compelled to share his own fall last night. He was slightly worried that he would see looks of disappointment in their eyes- condemnation as a failure- but that had been his own insecurity. They were accepting and encouraging. They even pointed out how he'd only had two drinks- and not even finished the last. They commended him on that.
A part of him accepted that as true- he hadn't gotten drunk, it was true. But would he have stopped? With Aria's father there, pushing him deeper into that whole, it was very likely. But in this case, he decided he was not completely to blame. He could forgive himself the slip.
The thought of getting caught again terrified him.
After the meeting, he went into the Church proper to genuflect and pray. The vastness of the house- the high vaulted walls and columns, the echoes- only served to emphasize to him how little he was. The statue of the Lord on the Cross looking down on him only served to reinforce to him the need to submit fully, to recognize that he was not in control of this. God was. But his power was infinite. The words of St. Paul came to him. "There is nothing I cannot do in the One who strengthens me." He felt strengthened.
Feeling better, he went to confession. He mentioned the drinking of course. But mostly, he confessed his repeated lustful thoughts. He thought about Aria a lot. And then....well, it didn't help he still remembered what she looked like naked. It had stayed with him through that whole night. In the end, he was glad he had been so out of it emotionally, otherwise he might have acted on it. He smiled. Thank you Lord, for the strength.
The priest gave his penance and absolved him. He felt much better than he had. Now he had work to do.
He found Aria outside waiting. He smiled at her. He did trust her. In stuff like that, she was the expert. It still bothered him to imagine how she had grown up. So lonely. Unloved. But the only thing he could do now was help her find a way to a better life.
And in the meantime, they had a girl to find. "I'm glad you came."
He took her hand and held it in both of his, looking down at her. "Will you help me find her? She needs help."