10-19-2017, 07:40 PM
Meditation. He half-playfully, half-seriously rolled his eyes at Jared. On one hand, he understood the concept. It was that kind of inward focus and oneness that bettered marksmanship. In fact, it separated the "good enoughs" with the "greats." But at the same time, the phrasing Jared used was eerily close to how Nox explained it.
With a grumble, Jay did as Jared instructed. He thought about some bright light glowing and fading inside. Shouldn't they braid flowers in their hair and sing kumbaya next?
He felt stupid, but this was hardly the first such time. In fact, it was best not to go down that rabbit hole at all. It would be a long, dark, ugly fall. Hah.
Focus. Light. Think about the light. What light? There was no fucking light. They were just standing in this cold, dark passageway. Nox was probably having a good laugh over this right now. Probably hoped they'd get lost down here and have to call for help. Yeah he'd want to help. Right the hero, that one was. Or he tried to be. Who knew if even there was such a thing as heroes any more. Except Jacques, maybe. Who heroically saved a bunch of people on the CCD's dime and let a bunch of kids get slaughtered. Okay, maybe that wasn't exactly how it happened, but it was close enough. Why even go back to Africa at this point? Maybe you might help one or two, but what difference did that make? Not much if you could be somewhere else saving hundreds? Course, where in the world was that going to happen? The CCD was all locked up. The Americas were almost as bad as Africa.
Eh who was he kidding. He was no hero. He was in it for the adrenaline. First and foremost it was all about the thrill. Telling himself it was about saving people was a huge lie. He liked the thrill. Maybe even the kill. God that was terrifying. Light. Think about the light.
Then it was there. The light was so powerful he squinted out of reflex. He "looked" at it for half a heartbeat, basking in all that glory and sheer, raw, churning power. It was like looking into the heart of the sun, if the sun was a living entity. This light pulsed and called, but before he could reach out and gently touch it, it descended, like the sun fell out of the sky and he was standing underneath about to be crushed.
His skin felt like it was on fire. He gasped in pain as it burned through his body. He had to fight it, or else it was going to rip him apart. His teeth clenched, his eyes were pinched shut. He barely moved but to dig his fists into balls, but he felt like he was trying to pick up a building with his bare hands.
Then, just when he thought he couldn't hold on any more, the building moved. The sun lifted from his shoulders. The weight of all that power rested in his soul, and he opened his eyes and saw darkness like he had never seen darkness before. The walls glistened with humidity. The crunch of tiny legs moving in the distance crinkled his ears. It was like the darkness came to life itself. Finally, finally it felt like he was at home. Like this was where he belonged. Not in the tunnel, but inside this raw power. It was thrilling.
And terrifying.
"What do I do with it?"
He whispered at Jared, seeking guidance for channeling this magic while he still controlled it.
With a grumble, Jay did as Jared instructed. He thought about some bright light glowing and fading inside. Shouldn't they braid flowers in their hair and sing kumbaya next?
He felt stupid, but this was hardly the first such time. In fact, it was best not to go down that rabbit hole at all. It would be a long, dark, ugly fall. Hah.
Focus. Light. Think about the light. What light? There was no fucking light. They were just standing in this cold, dark passageway. Nox was probably having a good laugh over this right now. Probably hoped they'd get lost down here and have to call for help. Yeah he'd want to help. Right the hero, that one was. Or he tried to be. Who knew if even there was such a thing as heroes any more. Except Jacques, maybe. Who heroically saved a bunch of people on the CCD's dime and let a bunch of kids get slaughtered. Okay, maybe that wasn't exactly how it happened, but it was close enough. Why even go back to Africa at this point? Maybe you might help one or two, but what difference did that make? Not much if you could be somewhere else saving hundreds? Course, where in the world was that going to happen? The CCD was all locked up. The Americas were almost as bad as Africa.
Eh who was he kidding. He was no hero. He was in it for the adrenaline. First and foremost it was all about the thrill. Telling himself it was about saving people was a huge lie. He liked the thrill. Maybe even the kill. God that was terrifying. Light. Think about the light.
Then it was there. The light was so powerful he squinted out of reflex. He "looked" at it for half a heartbeat, basking in all that glory and sheer, raw, churning power. It was like looking into the heart of the sun, if the sun was a living entity. This light pulsed and called, but before he could reach out and gently touch it, it descended, like the sun fell out of the sky and he was standing underneath about to be crushed.
His skin felt like it was on fire. He gasped in pain as it burned through his body. He had to fight it, or else it was going to rip him apart. His teeth clenched, his eyes were pinched shut. He barely moved but to dig his fists into balls, but he felt like he was trying to pick up a building with his bare hands.
Then, just when he thought he couldn't hold on any more, the building moved. The sun lifted from his shoulders. The weight of all that power rested in his soul, and he opened his eyes and saw darkness like he had never seen darkness before. The walls glistened with humidity. The crunch of tiny legs moving in the distance crinkled his ears. It was like the darkness came to life itself. Finally, finally it felt like he was at home. Like this was where he belonged. Not in the tunnel, but inside this raw power. It was thrilling.
And terrifying.
"What do I do with it?"
He whispered at Jared, seeking guidance for channeling this magic while he still controlled it.
Only darkness shows you the light.