04-15-2018, 08:52 PM
The cold spell finally ended, and the toils out in the fields reverted to their normal level of suck. Really, it wasn't that bad. A couple hours of work to get the blood pumping, back for breakfast, then the morning spent rounding up the heads for regular care, swapping fields, vaccines, that sort of thing. Done from horseback, well that made the chore far more fun. Casey was a former racehorse, retired, but strong. The red was nibbling at bits of grass when Jay noticed the first flowers of the season popping up. Really, he could stay out there all day. For a moment, he wondered why he ever wanted to leave.
He pat the red as they went on their way. It wasn't that far. Back in the barn, he was walking Casey to his stall when he heard grunts coming from the tackroom. Peeking in, he found Cayli trying to pick up a crate.
"Whoa there,"
he called and barely managed to tether Casey to a hook before rushing in to help. His baby sister eagerly surrendered the heavy load. "What are you doing out here by yourself? Picking up heavy shit you have no business moving around?"
She fixed him with a look for the swear word, then waved a hand on an umph. "I've been out here by myself since I was five, Jay."
Jay easily moved the crate of supplies out of the way. Something that only seemed to annoy Cayli, not that he did it, but that she just wasn't as strong as she wanted to be. Growing up, both of them were active kids. To do the kind of work, even basic chores, needed strength. Cayli was always strong for her age, but now she seemed fragile. Jay feared she would break like glass just looking at her.
"Sorry. Just wait for me next time. Better yet, stay inside. Rest up, study, talk to your friends."
He closed up the tack room and rescued Casey from the hook.
Cayli didn't buy it. "Since when are you telling me to not go outside. You're like the king of outside."
She rounded on Casey and scratched his nuzzle. She had cared for him almost exclusively while Jay was gone. She did a great job too.
"People change, Cay,"
Jay murmured.
"You want help with Casey?"
She asked.
"No. I got it. You can go now. Thanks."
He kept his tone flat as possible. Disinterested. Harsh, maybe. Annoyed by her presence. She looked hurt by the response, and Jay almost lost it right then.
When he was certain she was gone, he let his forehead fall to the saddle like hanging on to the reins was the only thing keeping him on his feet.
-----
Inside, he passed by Cayli watching tv without looking at her. If he had, she'd see the war all over his face. Instead, Jay quickly grabbed the computer left abandoned on the sofa and locked himself away for the rest of the night to work.
Just getting an idea of where the family (and farm) was at financially took the better part of a week. Now that the cold weather was in the past, there were more hours to focus. He was gaining traction now.
The spreadsheets made for a glow around his bed. Accounting sheets, debts, past-due bills, collectors, utilities. Then there were the operation expenses. Income in and out. Interest. Loans. Payments. By his calculations, the farm had six more months of sustainability left. That was with making two giant assumptions: that dad stopped gambling and Cayli's medical bills remained unchanged by then. Or-- if she died -- then the bills would go away completely. But funerals were damn expensive. He squeezed his eyes shut. God it was impossible. She was only 14- almost 15. How could this happen to literally the best kid in the world. Jay remembered so clearly the first time he saw her in the hospital when she was born. She was so tiny. So wiggly. Just a little wrinkly lump that spit up all over his arm when he first picked her up. He swore that day to make sure she was happy and safe. That's what big brothers did. Right? Maybe he could make a call. See if any of his buddies had a contact at some fancy hospital. Course, they didn't have insurance and couldn't pay for a dime. Jay would bankrupt himself if it meant helping her....
A ding pulled his eyes open. The blue orbs glistened in the screenlight, the only light in the whole house by then.
He lazily opened his email and blinked at the new message like he wasn't reading the name right.
Legion Premiere.
He almost closed the system down, but the temptation to look at screens rather than drift aimlessly through sleep was too strong. He opened the message on a whim.
Edited by Jay Carpenter, Apr 15 2018, 08:56 PM.
He pat the red as they went on their way. It wasn't that far. Back in the barn, he was walking Casey to his stall when he heard grunts coming from the tackroom. Peeking in, he found Cayli trying to pick up a crate.
"Whoa there,"
he called and barely managed to tether Casey to a hook before rushing in to help. His baby sister eagerly surrendered the heavy load. "What are you doing out here by yourself? Picking up heavy shit you have no business moving around?"
She fixed him with a look for the swear word, then waved a hand on an umph. "I've been out here by myself since I was five, Jay."
Jay easily moved the crate of supplies out of the way. Something that only seemed to annoy Cayli, not that he did it, but that she just wasn't as strong as she wanted to be. Growing up, both of them were active kids. To do the kind of work, even basic chores, needed strength. Cayli was always strong for her age, but now she seemed fragile. Jay feared she would break like glass just looking at her.
"Sorry. Just wait for me next time. Better yet, stay inside. Rest up, study, talk to your friends."
He closed up the tack room and rescued Casey from the hook.
Cayli didn't buy it. "Since when are you telling me to not go outside. You're like the king of outside."
She rounded on Casey and scratched his nuzzle. She had cared for him almost exclusively while Jay was gone. She did a great job too.
"People change, Cay,"
Jay murmured.
"You want help with Casey?"
She asked.
"No. I got it. You can go now. Thanks."
He kept his tone flat as possible. Disinterested. Harsh, maybe. Annoyed by her presence. She looked hurt by the response, and Jay almost lost it right then.
When he was certain she was gone, he let his forehead fall to the saddle like hanging on to the reins was the only thing keeping him on his feet.
-----
Inside, he passed by Cayli watching tv without looking at her. If he had, she'd see the war all over his face. Instead, Jay quickly grabbed the computer left abandoned on the sofa and locked himself away for the rest of the night to work.
Just getting an idea of where the family (and farm) was at financially took the better part of a week. Now that the cold weather was in the past, there were more hours to focus. He was gaining traction now.
The spreadsheets made for a glow around his bed. Accounting sheets, debts, past-due bills, collectors, utilities. Then there were the operation expenses. Income in and out. Interest. Loans. Payments. By his calculations, the farm had six more months of sustainability left. That was with making two giant assumptions: that dad stopped gambling and Cayli's medical bills remained unchanged by then. Or-- if she died -- then the bills would go away completely. But funerals were damn expensive. He squeezed his eyes shut. God it was impossible. She was only 14- almost 15. How could this happen to literally the best kid in the world. Jay remembered so clearly the first time he saw her in the hospital when she was born. She was so tiny. So wiggly. Just a little wrinkly lump that spit up all over his arm when he first picked her up. He swore that day to make sure she was happy and safe. That's what big brothers did. Right? Maybe he could make a call. See if any of his buddies had a contact at some fancy hospital. Course, they didn't have insurance and couldn't pay for a dime. Jay would bankrupt himself if it meant helping her....
A ding pulled his eyes open. The blue orbs glistened in the screenlight, the only light in the whole house by then.
He lazily opened his email and blinked at the new message like he wasn't reading the name right.
Legion Premiere.
He almost closed the system down, but the temptation to look at screens rather than drift aimlessly through sleep was too strong. He opened the message on a whim.
Edited by Jay Carpenter, Apr 15 2018, 08:56 PM.
Only darkness shows you the light.