03-23-2020, 01:49 AM
Even drugged unconscious, Jay wasn’t a heavy sleeper. Okay, maybe when he was beaten to an edge of his life by Placado, he was pretty difficult to rouse. The sleep of the content, however, was just as shallow as ever before. The moment Natalie shifted, awareness descended. Even if he didn’t make much effort to do anything about it. He simply enjoyed the warmth of her back pressed against him. It was with curious acceptance that he took up the screen, wondering who would want to funnel a message through Natalie to get to him. The outcome sparked what was probably the first genuine smile since he actually snagged the yellow beast from the bushes. The boy holding onto the mid-grown kitten was happy that belied all the reasons he had to be miserable. That kitten was his undoing. Jay would have crawled over cut glass to save the creature. A salvation of the innocent. It was the kind of thing a hero would do, and if the kitten was the only thing he could save, then goddammit he was going to save the thing.
His chest sank as he released the phone back to its owner. Natalie lingered close, but Jay said nothing. What do you say to the reminder of guilt tied at their ankles? Better to drift in silence than dredge up the lies they both knew were perched on the tip of his tongue. Her question was a blessed change of topic. He remembered asking similarly of her.
“It’s like sticking your hand into a fire to grab a burning log and pluck it back out. If you’re not fast enough. Focused enough. Or strong enough, then the fire will melt the skin from your bones, and every time you seize it, it could be the last time you do.”
Even then, the power waited on the edge of consciousness. He was thrilled of its return.
“It twists inside you like you burn from within. It sears your bones to ash and fills your mouth with sand. It’s horrible. And its blissful. I want to go back for another log every time. All the logs. I want to bury my head in the sand and drink it all until it chokes me to death.” Just talking about it tensed the muscles in arms that held her. He wanted it now more than before having lived through denial of its pleasure.
“If I lose focus just for a moment, or get distracted, or forget who I am while I use it, then it will obliterate me. Yet every single second is a conscious choice whether I want to let it or not. It’s better than any drug, and pure agony at the same time.”
He put a hand to his forehead, rubbing at the line of hair disheveled by dried out sweat and the pull of her hands. When the power was gone, he was in a state of panic that it would never return. That he’d never know again that sense of balanced on a wire strung between the cliffs. “What I can do with it, I could tear down a building if I wanted… but…” his voice drew to something of awe. Ascendancy’s power was breathtaking compared to his own depths. He was a campfire compared to an eclipse that was a thousand-fold brighter. If that man wanted, he could tear down the world and rebuild it in his image. No wonder the man was worshipped. Jay felt the pull, and such was where he laid his loyalty.
In the silence that followed, he let his hand fall aside, limp and carefree in order to study her profile. She was real. Where might they have been if not for powers, politics, wars, and revenge?
“You know I was offered a math scholarship to college. I didn’t go, obviously, to great disappointment of my parents. My mom said I should be one of those hot-shots in a suit on Wall Street, running numbers and crunching stats, making a million dollars a year. God it sounded like purgatory to me.” he laughed sadly. Obviously, things didn’t turn out that way. Then again, maybe he would have met Natalie through the forces of some alternate destiny. “I’m actually pretty damn good at cards if you ever want to play. I can think of a thing of two to bet on.” A roguish grin flashed before sinking lips to hers.
His chest sank as he released the phone back to its owner. Natalie lingered close, but Jay said nothing. What do you say to the reminder of guilt tied at their ankles? Better to drift in silence than dredge up the lies they both knew were perched on the tip of his tongue. Her question was a blessed change of topic. He remembered asking similarly of her.
“It’s like sticking your hand into a fire to grab a burning log and pluck it back out. If you’re not fast enough. Focused enough. Or strong enough, then the fire will melt the skin from your bones, and every time you seize it, it could be the last time you do.”
Even then, the power waited on the edge of consciousness. He was thrilled of its return.
“It twists inside you like you burn from within. It sears your bones to ash and fills your mouth with sand. It’s horrible. And its blissful. I want to go back for another log every time. All the logs. I want to bury my head in the sand and drink it all until it chokes me to death.” Just talking about it tensed the muscles in arms that held her. He wanted it now more than before having lived through denial of its pleasure.
“If I lose focus just for a moment, or get distracted, or forget who I am while I use it, then it will obliterate me. Yet every single second is a conscious choice whether I want to let it or not. It’s better than any drug, and pure agony at the same time.”
He put a hand to his forehead, rubbing at the line of hair disheveled by dried out sweat and the pull of her hands. When the power was gone, he was in a state of panic that it would never return. That he’d never know again that sense of balanced on a wire strung between the cliffs. “What I can do with it, I could tear down a building if I wanted… but…” his voice drew to something of awe. Ascendancy’s power was breathtaking compared to his own depths. He was a campfire compared to an eclipse that was a thousand-fold brighter. If that man wanted, he could tear down the world and rebuild it in his image. No wonder the man was worshipped. Jay felt the pull, and such was where he laid his loyalty.
In the silence that followed, he let his hand fall aside, limp and carefree in order to study her profile. She was real. Where might they have been if not for powers, politics, wars, and revenge?
“You know I was offered a math scholarship to college. I didn’t go, obviously, to great disappointment of my parents. My mom said I should be one of those hot-shots in a suit on Wall Street, running numbers and crunching stats, making a million dollars a year. God it sounded like purgatory to me.” he laughed sadly. Obviously, things didn’t turn out that way. Then again, maybe he would have met Natalie through the forces of some alternate destiny. “I’m actually pretty damn good at cards if you ever want to play. I can think of a thing of two to bet on.” A roguish grin flashed before sinking lips to hers.
Only darkness shows you the light.