Infidels

[Ascendancy]

He waited for Nox to proclaim his deepest desires, but even baited, the path unfurled before his feet, Nox was unwilling to claim his own desires. He remained selfless, adopting whatever it was Ascendancy suggested because it was suggested to him. Was he truly so poorly treated in life that he was disconnected forever from his own wants and needs? It was almost sad, if Nikolai was inclined toward empathy. Yet empathy was the ingredient to bind people to him, and he recognized the advantage it gave him. Analysis didn’t make the choice less genuine, if anything, it made him all the better for it. 

“Yes I believe if I asked it of you, you’d do just that,” he paused again, this time touching Nox on the shoulder, squeezing it slightly. The boy struggled with sexuality, an apt metaphor for his struggles as a monster and man, Atharim and god. Despite the denial, Nox was what he was, but unlike a cruel father, Nikolai would not impose his will upon him. What did Nox see when he looked at him? It would help him understand how to best breech the fortifications built up around his own soul. Did he see a gifted channeler first and man come from nothing second? Did he see the most powerful man in the world first and a threat? Or did he see simply a man standing before another, vulnerable and apologetic?

“Is that what you truly want? And to what end? A world that no longer needs your protection would be a lonely place.”