Liv avoided the steam that would burn her arm like it was second nature. She'd had enough over the last few months. Her wrist and forearm were proof of that. Daddy had offered her a place at the flower shop. And she'd thought about it.
But the truth was she needed to do this on her own. Daddy loved her. So did mom. They were trying to help her. Mom didn't jump all over her after her last information science test. She had been scared. Like she would let her down. Mom was just trying to help her find a place
But just like that afternoon in the coffeshop- what was it, eight or nine years ago?- mom smiled at her and her heart exploded with love and appreciation. Just as when she had, so scared and terrified, told her that she liked girls, and mom hadn't batted an eyelash, had said she was there for her and loved her and wanted her to be happy, even now mom wasn't angry if she really wasn't feeling it. Had told her to follow her heart
Liv knew her family loved her. Mom, daddy and her brother. And yeah, she was adrift and unsure and alone. But she realized how lucky she was. Laila didn't define her. Didn't get to have a say anymore. Fuck her. She knew love.
And so now Liv was working in the coffeeshop. She knew she could do other things. Would do other things. But she was content. Finally, she felt ready to live. It had started last night. Lost and alone she wondered along the river. The moon shone overhead, sky a cold black blue cobalt, and she felt the vast emptiness. And once again she sat before god, begged her for help, asked her for something, anything, for meaning. She ignored the pain of the gravel at her knees.
God answered her. She- only a woman could know, could understand, could make her feel alive and known- had come to her. The Angel's wings brushed her cheek and tears and the world came alive in a way she couldn't begin to imagine. Breathing was like an orgasm. She wept at the overwhelming beauty of it.
And in that moment, she saw herself smiling, face radiant with joy and she ached to know its source. God left her then. But she did not feel disappointed. She had seen something. She had life ahead of her.
And so now, in the coffeeshop, she felt alive. Hopeful. Ready. God had promised it, hadn't she?
But the truth was she needed to do this on her own. Daddy loved her. So did mom. They were trying to help her. Mom didn't jump all over her after her last information science test. She had been scared. Like she would let her down. Mom was just trying to help her find a place
But just like that afternoon in the coffeshop- what was it, eight or nine years ago?- mom smiled at her and her heart exploded with love and appreciation. Just as when she had, so scared and terrified, told her that she liked girls, and mom hadn't batted an eyelash, had said she was there for her and loved her and wanted her to be happy, even now mom wasn't angry if she really wasn't feeling it. Had told her to follow her heart
Liv knew her family loved her. Mom, daddy and her brother. And yeah, she was adrift and unsure and alone. But she realized how lucky she was. Laila didn't define her. Didn't get to have a say anymore. Fuck her. She knew love.
And so now Liv was working in the coffeeshop. She knew she could do other things. Would do other things. But she was content. Finally, she felt ready to live. It had started last night. Lost and alone she wondered along the river. The moon shone overhead, sky a cold black blue cobalt, and she felt the vast emptiness. And once again she sat before god, begged her for help, asked her for something, anything, for meaning. She ignored the pain of the gravel at her knees.
God answered her. She- only a woman could know, could understand, could make her feel alive and known- had come to her. The Angel's wings brushed her cheek and tears and the world came alive in a way she couldn't begin to imagine. Breathing was like an orgasm. She wept at the overwhelming beauty of it.
And in that moment, she saw herself smiling, face radiant with joy and she ached to know its source. God left her then. But she did not feel disappointed. She had seen something. She had life ahead of her.
And so now, in the coffeeshop, she felt alive. Hopeful. Ready. God had promised it, hadn't she?