Alone, on the train, the click clacking serving to hide their words, he could be open. Honest. His thumbs pressing against his eyes dropped. He looked at his sister.
She was strong. I keep too much from her. But habits are hard to break. His responsibility toward her- his role- had been father and shelter. To protect her from knowing the truth about how things were. How their father truly felt.
There had been some warming, finally. Some semblance of a relationship between them developing.
But he'd spent almost two decades doing that. Relying on her, opening to her...it was not natural. Not habit. He'd always been alone.
He looked into her eyes, shedding all aspects of Idris. There were days he loathed Idris. The way people looked at him. Yet another burden. Broad as his shoulders were, he felt a weight on them that threatened every day to crush him.
His eyes flickered to the landscape passing at super speed. It seemed kilometers had been traversed before he looked at her again.
"I don't know Sessie. I truly don't. I thought we were done. The vision fulfilled." He clenched his fist and then looked at the tear burned into it. "I don't know how to be the Heart. A Qdus, yes. Even a G'brim feels natural. But..." He looked away.
His heart died years ago. A mound in the night, her hands- her voice- silenced forever.
He looked at his sister. "I don't know to be a heart when I feel like I have none."
She was strong. I keep too much from her. But habits are hard to break. His responsibility toward her- his role- had been father and shelter. To protect her from knowing the truth about how things were. How their father truly felt.
There had been some warming, finally. Some semblance of a relationship between them developing.
But he'd spent almost two decades doing that. Relying on her, opening to her...it was not natural. Not habit. He'd always been alone.
He looked into her eyes, shedding all aspects of Idris. There were days he loathed Idris. The way people looked at him. Yet another burden. Broad as his shoulders were, he felt a weight on them that threatened every day to crush him.
His eyes flickered to the landscape passing at super speed. It seemed kilometers had been traversed before he looked at her again.
"I don't know Sessie. I truly don't. I thought we were done. The vision fulfilled." He clenched his fist and then looked at the tear burned into it. "I don't know how to be the Heart. A Qdus, yes. Even a G'brim feels natural. But..." He looked away.
His heart died years ago. A mound in the night, her hands- her voice- silenced forever.
He looked at his sister. "I don't know to be a heart when I feel like I have none."