06-20-2014, 12:00 PM
Connor looked at Charlie and, for the life of him, he just didn't see it. He shook his head incredulously. He barked a laugh. "Well don't look like a ma'am then."
Charlie laughed at this. "Hey sometimes you just gotta be yourself, and not care what other people think."
"That's true,"
Connor said. "By the way, I think you're using the word 'slow' wrong."
Charlie laughed. "Hey, I had to have a little fun. You're a big guy. I knew you could take it."
He paused for a moment. "So....your friend. He seeing anyone? He kinda had the earnest guy look."
Connor laughed. He still felt pretty shitty- the exhilaration from the fight having worn off. It had only lasted moments anyway. "Honestly man, I had not idea he liked guys. I guess in retrospect it makes sense. A straight guy's usually gonna respond when a woman walks out of a room in a short shirt and not much else."
He thought about Aria for a moment and felt a twinge of guilt. He tamped it down. He didn't want to think about Ayden. "Anyway, come on man. I wanna fight."
Charlie laughed at him. "Heh...Well, I guess that makes sense."
He took his gloves off and got the pads. "Dude, you're not ready to fight yet. Hah! You do remember getting knocked to the ground, right? No. We're gonna start off with the basic movements and then you are going to practice them until you don't have to think about them. When I think you're ready, then we'll go on to more advanced stuff."
He looked Connor in the eye and added, "This is some powerful shit I'm gonna teach you. You will not learn it in a day."
Then he smiled to take the sting out. "I thought all you old guys were all about patience and shit. Well, settle down buddy. I'm Miyagi and you're the kid, got it?"
Connor took the words to heart, but he felt a bit disappointed. Which he shoudn't. The guy was right. So he focused and followed the directions. But, as he expected, the repetitive movements led to thinking. And thinking led to feeling tired of it all, of the whole situation and the lack of any solution. It was why running wasn't working for him anymore. That brief moment, during the sparring, was the only time he'd really been able to completely forget about it, having to focus on not getting his ass kicked. And when they'd finished the training, Charlie was willing to go another round. Perhaps in irritation at Connor's impatience, Charlie didn't back off either. But then again, Connor didn't want him to. Once again, it was all he could to do keep Charlie's fists or feet away from him.
It didn't work too well that time either. He had a split lip and a bruise on his cheek and ribs. But even so, the hits made him feel....alive somehow. It was visceral; primal; male. It wasn't complicated or nuanced. It wasn't compassion or understanding. It was raw immediate emotion. And for just a moment, it was like a circuit had closed in his heart and life had surged into it, just pure unadulterated life and searing, screaming, fight-or-flight emotion. And he loved it.
When they were finished, Connor toweled the sweat off his face, glad of how it ended. Charlie was giving him some pointers on how to improve his reactions and reflexes. Connor listened, but also looked around and saw the occupants from before replaced with new ones. The hour had gone by quickly.
He felt a strange feeling, an urge for something different. He dropped his voice a bit. "Listen, uhh...I'm gonna keep coming in for training. I do want to learn this. I wanna get as good as you. But,
" he paused, feeling kind of like he was exposing some shameful desire, "I, uh, I really just want to fight right now. Those two times we sparred were amazing and I want to feel that again. I want to feel that rush again."
He wondered if Charlie understood. Maybe he did, Connor wasn't sure. "Do you know of any fight clubs? You know, just regular guys getting together to beat the hell out of each other?
" Charlie looked at him blankly. Damn, he wasn't getting this. "Look, you've seen the movie Fight Club, right? I know it's like super old, but it's a classic. You know what I am talking about?"
Charlie continued looking at him for a moment. And then he nodded slowly. "Yeah, I know it."
He looked Connor up and down for a moment, as if sizing him up. "Ok. Yes. I do know of one. In fact we meet not far from here. I don't advertise it because then you get a lot assholes showing up for the wrong reasons. This is a special thing for us."
He looked at Connor, thinking. "But I think you get it. I think you know what it's for. So yeah. In fact, we're gonna get together tonight. Meet me here at 10 o'clock and I'll take you to it."
He smiled at Connor and added with a laugh. "You do know the first two rules about fight club, right?
Connor laughed. His heart raced with anticipation. He couldn't wait. "Yeah yeah. You do not talk about fight club!"
They shook hands and then Connor went and changed and went home. The adrenaline lasted for most of the trip but by the time he got to his building, the listlessness was back.
Mercifully, he didn't see Ayden as he made his way to his apartment. But he looked at her door as he walked past it. That tired feeling was there, the confusion and lethargy. Trapped. Can't make myself get away from her. Can't make myself go to her.
He was really hoping that tonight helped him.
Edited by Connor Kent, Jun 20 2014, 01:10 PM.
Charlie laughed at this. "Hey sometimes you just gotta be yourself, and not care what other people think."
"That's true,"
Connor said. "By the way, I think you're using the word 'slow' wrong."
Charlie laughed. "Hey, I had to have a little fun. You're a big guy. I knew you could take it."
He paused for a moment. "So....your friend. He seeing anyone? He kinda had the earnest guy look."
Connor laughed. He still felt pretty shitty- the exhilaration from the fight having worn off. It had only lasted moments anyway. "Honestly man, I had not idea he liked guys. I guess in retrospect it makes sense. A straight guy's usually gonna respond when a woman walks out of a room in a short shirt and not much else."
He thought about Aria for a moment and felt a twinge of guilt. He tamped it down. He didn't want to think about Ayden. "Anyway, come on man. I wanna fight."
Charlie laughed at him. "Heh...Well, I guess that makes sense."
He took his gloves off and got the pads. "Dude, you're not ready to fight yet. Hah! You do remember getting knocked to the ground, right? No. We're gonna start off with the basic movements and then you are going to practice them until you don't have to think about them. When I think you're ready, then we'll go on to more advanced stuff."
He looked Connor in the eye and added, "This is some powerful shit I'm gonna teach you. You will not learn it in a day."
Then he smiled to take the sting out. "I thought all you old guys were all about patience and shit. Well, settle down buddy. I'm Miyagi and you're the kid, got it?"
Connor took the words to heart, but he felt a bit disappointed. Which he shoudn't. The guy was right. So he focused and followed the directions. But, as he expected, the repetitive movements led to thinking. And thinking led to feeling tired of it all, of the whole situation and the lack of any solution. It was why running wasn't working for him anymore. That brief moment, during the sparring, was the only time he'd really been able to completely forget about it, having to focus on not getting his ass kicked. And when they'd finished the training, Charlie was willing to go another round. Perhaps in irritation at Connor's impatience, Charlie didn't back off either. But then again, Connor didn't want him to. Once again, it was all he could to do keep Charlie's fists or feet away from him.
It didn't work too well that time either. He had a split lip and a bruise on his cheek and ribs. But even so, the hits made him feel....alive somehow. It was visceral; primal; male. It wasn't complicated or nuanced. It wasn't compassion or understanding. It was raw immediate emotion. And for just a moment, it was like a circuit had closed in his heart and life had surged into it, just pure unadulterated life and searing, screaming, fight-or-flight emotion. And he loved it.
When they were finished, Connor toweled the sweat off his face, glad of how it ended. Charlie was giving him some pointers on how to improve his reactions and reflexes. Connor listened, but also looked around and saw the occupants from before replaced with new ones. The hour had gone by quickly.
He felt a strange feeling, an urge for something different. He dropped his voice a bit. "Listen, uhh...I'm gonna keep coming in for training. I do want to learn this. I wanna get as good as you. But,
" he paused, feeling kind of like he was exposing some shameful desire, "I, uh, I really just want to fight right now. Those two times we sparred were amazing and I want to feel that again. I want to feel that rush again."
He wondered if Charlie understood. Maybe he did, Connor wasn't sure. "Do you know of any fight clubs? You know, just regular guys getting together to beat the hell out of each other?
" Charlie looked at him blankly. Damn, he wasn't getting this. "Look, you've seen the movie Fight Club, right? I know it's like super old, but it's a classic. You know what I am talking about?"
Charlie continued looking at him for a moment. And then he nodded slowly. "Yeah, I know it."
He looked Connor up and down for a moment, as if sizing him up. "Ok. Yes. I do know of one. In fact we meet not far from here. I don't advertise it because then you get a lot assholes showing up for the wrong reasons. This is a special thing for us."
He looked at Connor, thinking. "But I think you get it. I think you know what it's for. So yeah. In fact, we're gonna get together tonight. Meet me here at 10 o'clock and I'll take you to it."
He smiled at Connor and added with a laugh. "You do know the first two rules about fight club, right?
Connor laughed. His heart raced with anticipation. He couldn't wait. "Yeah yeah. You do not talk about fight club!"
They shook hands and then Connor went and changed and went home. The adrenaline lasted for most of the trip but by the time he got to his building, the listlessness was back.
Mercifully, he didn't see Ayden as he made his way to his apartment. But he looked at her door as he walked past it. That tired feeling was there, the confusion and lethargy. Trapped. Can't make myself get away from her. Can't make myself go to her.
He was really hoping that tonight helped him.
Edited by Connor Kent, Jun 20 2014, 01:10 PM.