Unlikely To Like You

[Nika Raskov]

Liv was putting out so many tells, poker was clearly not her game.  O-kay...what the hell had happened?  Should I ask then?  Nika was torn before humor from the other side said it was alright to move on.  Maybe it was unconscious?  Moving on!  

Her brows climbed upward at the story and the asshole’s irresponsible display of machismo.  Nika made an exasperated sound but shared the laughter at Liv’s awesome revenge.  “Jerk.  Sorry-not-sorry,”  she managed to get in.  

She nodded at the family bit.  “I run on campus sometimes and the dorms are always nuts.  At all hours!  I can’t imagine how anyone can get any studying in.”  In exasperation she rolled her eyes.  

“Oh, I hear you.”  Keep it light, she’ll talk about it when she’s ready and that might not be with you.  “You get one shot at life so you might as well do what makes you happy or you find your purpose.”  Right?  Nika smiled.  “I grew up here and in Italy, yeah.”  She made a vexed sound at herself and switched to a comically-thick native accent.  “Here I thought maybe I was doing good job of being Russian.”  Her gaze seemed to accidentally land on the cliche lasagne and convey its betrayal.  “Vash!”  The exclamation saw her produce dessert from within the basket.  Her accent was her own again.  “Chocolate mousse?”  She offered a healthy tub with a dimpled grin.

[Liv]

Liv's eyes lit up at the mousse, grin wide in anticipation. Then she laughed, bright and giggly. "I guess you know the way to a girl's heart."

---

Nika managed somehow to laugh and blush at the same time. Cooking for someone else, even if this hadn’t been planned when she’d actually made the lasagne and mousse, it was awesome. An awesome feeling. She’d forgotten that. “I’m cheating and using GPS.”

---

Liv chuckled at that. Her emotions had settled at the easy talk. She cocked an eyebrow, lazy half smile on her lips. In a low voice, she said, "GPS to my heart, huh? You may get lost." A playful twinkle appeared in her eyes. "You might find yourself in my spleen instead." A grin.

Even as she said it, she felt a thrill. How long had it been since she had flirted? And yet, here she was, terrified, but...not running away.

---

Well this was the side of Liv that had caught Nika’s eye in the first place. Confident, Liv was so beautiful. Nika grinned and laughed. "With great risk comes great reward?” She took a spoonful of mousse from her tub. It was her favorite dessert. Nika appeared thoughtful. “...or monumental disaster.” There was a dark chuckle before an impish smile worked its way onto her face. “I think the risk is worth it.” Nika could be patient.

---

Despite the fear that seemed to always shadow her heart, that protectively kept it cold and safe, she felt a flash of warmth at the admission...just a moment.

And in that moment, that warmth eveloped her, the heat of being held, the angel's gentle wing against her cheek.

It was as if Nika had come to life before her, as if Liv was as close to her as was physically possible, skin to skin, face to face, sharing the same breath.

And suddenly it shifted and Liv saw herself at a large table, white linen cloth covered with plates that only held the remnants of their dinner, coffee cups steaming, the sound of laughter and clinking glasses and silverware a hum over the background music. And Liv looked around and saw faces she did not recognize- and yet did. Friends of decades, laughing and speaking over each other, gesturing to her or to someone else.

A dinner party. That's what this was. A touch startled her and dhe turned to see. It was Nika- small fine wrinkles at the corners of eyes that still shimmered with life, at smiling lips she had kissed so many times and yet still drew her, at the fine little white hairs that had started to appear at her temples. Nika just reaching out to hold her hand.

A full lifetime she was somehow "remembering", filled with love and anger, fights and forgiveness. Ups and downs, loss and discovery. She tasted it, the bitter and sweet, it melted on her tongue.

And somehow, Liv felt the angel's wings around her, squeezing firmly but gently, God telling her She loved her and would be with her, had something for her.

And Liv felt that peace wash away some of the fear she carried, felt the shadow release some of its hold, enough so that the still frozen heart could beat for the first time, flakes of ice fragmenting and falling away.

It wasn't a promise.

But it was enough. The angel released her and everything went to normal. Nika was there, watching her. How long had she been silent? She hoped not long. Not after what the woman had said.

There was no need to fake a smile or warmth. She tentatively reached out and gently squeezed Nika's uninjured hand. "Yeah...I think so."

[With Nika]

[Nika Raskov]

Liv was gone but a blink of the eye.  Nika, unaware, beamed.  The idiot’s slow smile spread with an upward curl of her lips like a sunrise.  Liv had touched her.  That gesture, however small in appearance, was monumental in action for both women.

Nika was not accustomed to being touched.  Not like that; not at all.  Outwardly her general vibe and public persona repulsed all manner of physical contact.  She did not hug, there were no shoulder squeezes or pats on the back.  The most her team had ever gotten was perhaps a high five or a handshake.  There were many reasons for the chasmic distance at which she kept people.  Secretly though, deep within the boxes upon boxes hidden away in her mind, all Nika wanted...was to be was touched.  Desperately.  To be touched and loved.  So naturally it made no sense to her to allow such an action if the gesture wasn’t genuine.  It made perfect sense to her in the confined of her guarded mind.  Perfect.  Liv seemed to mean it.

So the Universe had its fun with her and she was completely in the dark about what had just happened.  It was an innocent touch.  Nika grinned like a perfect idiot.  She laughed goofily; nose scrunched up, eyes full of mirth.  

Liv and Nika talked well into the evening, easing through the fog of a first date.  When finally they parted ways, a polite hug and shared smiles ended the night.  Of course there would be more to come.