What Wouldn't I Give

[Nox]

Raffe sat perched on the side of the bed holding a plant. He loved his plants, but Nox was pretty sure he hadn't seen this one sitting in the window sill in his room. Nox looked up at the wolfish grin and the tease Raffe had issued making Nox bit his bottom lip and blush all in the same few moments. It's not that he was shy. But the offer while hidden in the quip made a lot of underlying emotions stir, and not just the carnal ones. Raffe felt safe. Maybe it was having an nonjudgmental roof over his head, or just the man himself, but everything about Kallisti felt like home much more so than Dorian's ever did. Nox grinned back at Raffe even though the uncharacteristic blush made he want to look away. "I see. You just want to see my naked. I get it." Nox squeezed Raffe's leg and nodded, "I'll appreciate all the help even if I'm an asshole later about it. It's not easy asking for help." He was serious, he knew himself, and he could feel the shifting of moods.

Nox let out a long sigh, he didn't want to answer Raffe's question, but he did anyway. "Dorian's here to figure out how long I'll be here. No surgery needed to fix the wound I'm told, Ivan did a good job when he hacked it off in the tunnels." Nox said answering Raffe's question and turning his gaze to the bed. "I told him to do it. I didn't want to die like that. I didn't want to be one of them. I didn't want to have Ivan kill me then and there. I probably should have, but I was selfish and wanted to live. I don't know if it'll happen. I could become dangerous."

He lifted his eyes to the plant and grinned. It was a good change of topic, he thought. Nox sighed to himself when he removed his hand from Raffe's leg to point at the plant. "Is that for me? Or are you taking your new friend for a walk?" The loss of contact made Nox feel alone. Lost again, no anchor. Even the voice in his head echoed with loss. He didn't want to lose again.