For some strange reason, each biting word injected warmth into Jacinda. She had never seen Ten so...emotional. The woman was almost always cool and collected. Jacinda was the hot head. While she normally kept an emotional distance, she wasn't one to temper how she felt. To hide it or keep it under wraps.
It was a contrast she had appreciated- and found amusing.
And yet the women's outburst had an effect she hadn't anticipated. Normally, she would have gotten defensive. Would have been insulted. Would have gone on the attack. And yet...she only barely kept from smiling, feeling something want to burst in her chest.
Somebody cares. Tenzin fucking cares. It was an alien feeling and she marvelled at it.
She fell silent and despite Tenzin's punctuated statement at the end, Jacinda was at a loss for words. She studied the woman, looked again at the charm, the one Ten had physically called attention to.
No, this wasn't something she wanted to walk away from. Not a bridge she wanted to burn. It might hurt, in the long run. And yet... "It's messy, being with people. Being a friend. A sister." She did smile slightly. She looked at her tattoo, at Ten's, considering. Thinking on the Atharim she had known. The difference between them and this woman.
She pursed her lips. "Guardian. Atharim has never meant that for me. The Atharim have lost it. Or haven't had it in a very long time. At least the ones I've known."
Despite the display, the woman was serene and at peace at most times. It was not something Jacinda was used to. The quiet firm resolve. And she felt a profound hunger for it. To know that tranquility.
After a moment, it finally came to her. "Teach me how to be what you are." She realize how vague that sounded and floundered, looking for the words. "That peace. The...way to look. To...see as you see. I am just a hunter. That's what Atharim has always meant to me. What I was taught. It's all I've ever known." A dumb tool, in fact, But Tenzin's experience showed there was so much more. "It's not so black and white is it? How we guard, who we guard matters." She paused, remembering how she felt in the van. She paused, thinking back. Her protective instincts had overwhelmed her. She could see that. "That little girl mattered. Regardless of what the Inquisitor thought of her. Of what she was."
She tipped her head back against the cabinet door, thinking, reevaluating while absently biting her lip. She could see it. After a moment, she looked again at Ten, curious. Was it her? "Are all of your....group like you? As...compassionate as you?" She tilted her head, studying her, searching those unnaturally black eyes, realizing. The woman was a mystery. One she wanted to understand. "Why did you choose to be a guardian." She liked the word. Atharim was foreign and meaningless. Guardian was something else entirely.
It was a contrast she had appreciated- and found amusing.
And yet the women's outburst had an effect she hadn't anticipated. Normally, she would have gotten defensive. Would have been insulted. Would have gone on the attack. And yet...she only barely kept from smiling, feeling something want to burst in her chest.
Somebody cares. Tenzin fucking cares. It was an alien feeling and she marvelled at it.
She fell silent and despite Tenzin's punctuated statement at the end, Jacinda was at a loss for words. She studied the woman, looked again at the charm, the one Ten had physically called attention to.
No, this wasn't something she wanted to walk away from. Not a bridge she wanted to burn. It might hurt, in the long run. And yet... "It's messy, being with people. Being a friend. A sister." She did smile slightly. She looked at her tattoo, at Ten's, considering. Thinking on the Atharim she had known. The difference between them and this woman.
She pursed her lips. "Guardian. Atharim has never meant that for me. The Atharim have lost it. Or haven't had it in a very long time. At least the ones I've known."
Despite the display, the woman was serene and at peace at most times. It was not something Jacinda was used to. The quiet firm resolve. And she felt a profound hunger for it. To know that tranquility.
After a moment, it finally came to her. "Teach me how to be what you are." She realize how vague that sounded and floundered, looking for the words. "That peace. The...way to look. To...see as you see. I am just a hunter. That's what Atharim has always meant to me. What I was taught. It's all I've ever known." A dumb tool, in fact, But Tenzin's experience showed there was so much more. "It's not so black and white is it? How we guard, who we guard matters." She paused, remembering how she felt in the van. She paused, thinking back. Her protective instincts had overwhelmed her. She could see that. "That little girl mattered. Regardless of what the Inquisitor thought of her. Of what she was."
She tipped her head back against the cabinet door, thinking, reevaluating while absently biting her lip. She could see it. After a moment, she looked again at Ten, curious. Was it her? "Are all of your....group like you? As...compassionate as you?" She tilted her head, studying her, searching those unnaturally black eyes, realizing. The woman was a mystery. One she wanted to understand. "Why did you choose to be a guardian." She liked the word. Atharim was foreign and meaningless. Guardian was something else entirely.