Kintsugi

[Nox]

[[ ooc: These events aren't necessarily chronological, just filling in the days between Nox's show and when Raffe gets out ]]

The coffee was hot in his hands as Nox walked down the street collecting himself. He'd spoken to several of the neighbors and most of them didn't particularly want to cooperate with his reinforcement of the neighborhood. Probably already had protection and didn't want to piss them off. Not that I was going to ask for money or anything, but whatever. Sage had already grabbed all the feeds and was compiling a list of hiding spots we'd have to add cameras to. I didn't need their permission to deposit a camera in some other location. And Sage didn't really care one way or the other if they wanted to let him in. He got in anyway. The morality of it was gray bordering on dark -- but Sage was a stalker and he was all for more access.

Really was amusing thinking how Sage and Aiden came to be together. Still annoyed at it, but who the fuck would pass up the opportunity to be w ith someone famous? Honestly Nox was grateful it had happened the way it had -- he might never have fallen so hard for someone who actually cared about him. And he fucked it up. So easily and so readily he'd fucked it up.

Nox reached into his pocket and pulled the lump of rock he'd been wittling at. It had started out as just an idle manipulation, but the more he thought about Raffe, and the more he thought about that grand gesture and the fixing things. There wasn't anything he could do to undo what he did. Promises were broken, yet Nox fixated on the actual problem. If it had been any other promise he'd outright broken? One that wasn't of fidelity. Of faithfulness would Raffe have needed time? This was a betrayal on top of a broken promise.

Life was barely worth getting up in the morning. But he did it. He made himself get up. Made himself follow the routine he started. It was hard knowing that the man he had taken for granted wasn't there. And he might never return. Things may never go back to the way they were. Or even close. But Nox needed Raffe. Needed that light at the end of his day. And his light was fading into his darkness. Smothering it with anxiety and the hordes desires.

They weren't going away. Each day it was harder to fight. Harder to be true and faithful. Harder to bite back the anger and aggression. He did it. Barely. Physical exertion helped. The fight helped. Eating helped. Everything he did helped just a little bit, but nothing helped as much as knowing Raffe would be there to help him through the harder times. And he'd fucked it up. Fucked it all to hell because of the horde.

Nox knew how he felt. What he wanted. But there was fear mixed in with all the feelings. The rock was taking shape, the flat slap turned circle was shaping nicely into a ring, carved with the power of the gods, sanded and shaped with earth and air. Smelted and smoothed with fire and water. It was nothing but an ordinary rock, but it would be more -- a symbol of the only promise he could ever make and never break. Even if it was over, it didn't change the way he felt.