Nox cackled with disdain at the question. "That is such a loaded question!" It was not humor he laughed with. It was filled with hurt and abandonment and every other emotion except probably humor. It was not funny.
When his laughter cut off abruptly "Why does anyone ever do stupid things? You want this reason?" Nox pointed down at the body staring up at him and noticed what he was wearing and he didn't like it. Not that he'd ever have minded showing off his chest or scars to Raffe but here and now he felt exposed, and in that immediacy his attire changed to the things he was most comfortable in -- the slightly ripped jeans, the tattered gray hoodie hung around his shoulders. The shirt underneath should have been non-descript, there was no favorite -- not really, instead he felt the comfortable weight of the chain mail shirt biting at his skin. Odd how the new persona was taking a comfortable place in his being. He didn't like it but he didn't fight the comfort of the cold metal against his hot skin. He wore the combat boots in the gore -- this was not a place for his favored chucks and that alone might sent him spiraling into oblivion.
"Or do you want to know the reason this particular metaphor is playing in my head?"
Nox smirked. "You want to help, so how about both." Nox was fond of talking. Talking so much it very well could have ended his relationship. Who the fuck knew?
Nox pointed to the ground and the dead body. "That's my fear. The fear that if I lose control I'm going to hurt or worse those most dear to me." And he sighed. "And this is also a metaphor for betraying him. You. For cheating on him when he didn't give a flying fuck to begin with but its a broken promise thus it's a betrayal. And I'm deemed untrustworthy." His anger started to boil. The pain rising cold and hard in his chest. It hurt to breathe. "There is no why short of I'm a monster-in-waiting." Thalia would slap him for those words but it didn't mean he didn't feel them 1000% every day.
When his laughter cut off abruptly "Why does anyone ever do stupid things? You want this reason?" Nox pointed down at the body staring up at him and noticed what he was wearing and he didn't like it. Not that he'd ever have minded showing off his chest or scars to Raffe but here and now he felt exposed, and in that immediacy his attire changed to the things he was most comfortable in -- the slightly ripped jeans, the tattered gray hoodie hung around his shoulders. The shirt underneath should have been non-descript, there was no favorite -- not really, instead he felt the comfortable weight of the chain mail shirt biting at his skin. Odd how the new persona was taking a comfortable place in his being. He didn't like it but he didn't fight the comfort of the cold metal against his hot skin. He wore the combat boots in the gore -- this was not a place for his favored chucks and that alone might sent him spiraling into oblivion.
"Or do you want to know the reason this particular metaphor is playing in my head?"
Nox smirked. "You want to help, so how about both." Nox was fond of talking. Talking so much it very well could have ended his relationship. Who the fuck knew?
Nox pointed to the ground and the dead body. "That's my fear. The fear that if I lose control I'm going to hurt or worse those most dear to me." And he sighed. "And this is also a metaphor for betraying him. You. For cheating on him when he didn't give a flying fuck to begin with but its a broken promise thus it's a betrayal. And I'm deemed untrustworthy." His anger started to boil. The pain rising cold and hard in his chest. It hurt to breathe. "There is no why short of I'm a monster-in-waiting." Thalia would slap him for those words but it didn't mean he didn't feel them 1000% every day.
![[Image: nox_sig.gif]](http://thefirstage.org/wp-content/uploads/2023/08/nox_sig.gif)