Nox wasn't afraid to lose. He didn't want to die, but it wasn't fear that drove the want. He'd die. He thought about it a lot more than any one person should. Taking his own life was the easy way out. Losing it in a fight well that was a different story -- as long as he didn't do it without a fight. Giving up wasn't in his nature.
Maybe that was why he'd slammed the door shut, maybe it was why he pushed Ori's buttons to make her come back. He wanted a fight. Wanted to be hurt -- punished for all his wrong doings. Someone to just make him pay. Jay had started it. But the fight left Nox wanting his friend back, and not the punishment he felt he deserved.
"I came here for you."
The words resonated in his soul. Oriena didn't do anything for anyone other than herself. They cut like a knife. He'd said he wasn't like her other friends. Maybe he should listen to his own words. She wasn't like the others.
"I am the safe fucking place."
She said more in the past few seconds than most people had said to him well ever. There were a few, and in every case he'd disappointed them all. He couldn't disappoint Oriena. She would never love him. So he could never hurt her. She could take care of herself, but in all of that hardness there was a small grain of hope. This had all started with the way she grabbed his arm in the club. She understood him better than he did himself. There had been an offer, Nox didn't ask if it was still on the table -- Ori would scoff at the idea and worse case scenario she'd smack him down and walk out the door.
Risk versus reward. There was very little risk in what he was about to do. She wouldn't connect with him no matter how much he felt for her. There was a twinge of guilt, of loss and sadness in it. But he did it anyway. Nox closed the distance, did two unprecedented things since losing his left arm -- clasped the back of Oriena's neck with it and kissed her all in the same moment. He focused on gentle touch, not because he was trying to be gentle, but because he was trying not to crush the back of her skull accidentally. But the rest of him didn't care about injury -- to himself or her. The kiss was hard, passionate, wanton. He needed it like he needed air. He hadn't kissed her like that in the car. Hadn't kissed a girl like that since Elyse. And definitely never kissed any of his flings -- period. Oriena had been right there too, last thing he wanted was to catch feelings -- problem with Oriena was he already had feelings -- though not of love or romance. This wasn't his sister -- and she wasn't like any of his other friends.
Maybe that was why he'd slammed the door shut, maybe it was why he pushed Ori's buttons to make her come back. He wanted a fight. Wanted to be hurt -- punished for all his wrong doings. Someone to just make him pay. Jay had started it. But the fight left Nox wanting his friend back, and not the punishment he felt he deserved.
"I came here for you."
The words resonated in his soul. Oriena didn't do anything for anyone other than herself. They cut like a knife. He'd said he wasn't like her other friends. Maybe he should listen to his own words. She wasn't like the others.
"I am the safe fucking place."
She said more in the past few seconds than most people had said to him well ever. There were a few, and in every case he'd disappointed them all. He couldn't disappoint Oriena. She would never love him. So he could never hurt her. She could take care of herself, but in all of that hardness there was a small grain of hope. This had all started with the way she grabbed his arm in the club. She understood him better than he did himself. There had been an offer, Nox didn't ask if it was still on the table -- Ori would scoff at the idea and worse case scenario she'd smack him down and walk out the door.
Risk versus reward. There was very little risk in what he was about to do. She wouldn't connect with him no matter how much he felt for her. There was a twinge of guilt, of loss and sadness in it. But he did it anyway. Nox closed the distance, did two unprecedented things since losing his left arm -- clasped the back of Oriena's neck with it and kissed her all in the same moment. He focused on gentle touch, not because he was trying to be gentle, but because he was trying not to crush the back of her skull accidentally. But the rest of him didn't care about injury -- to himself or her. The kiss was hard, passionate, wanton. He needed it like he needed air. He hadn't kissed her like that in the car. Hadn't kissed a girl like that since Elyse. And definitely never kissed any of his flings -- period. Oriena had been right there too, last thing he wanted was to catch feelings -- problem with Oriena was he already had feelings -- though not of love or romance. This wasn't his sister -- and she wasn't like any of his other friends.
![[Image: nox_sig.gif]](http://thefirstage.org/wp-content/uploads/2023/08/nox_sig.gif)