Missing You

[Cruz]

Cruz hated when women cried. It was either them being too emotional or it was their way of manipulation. He didn't think Rachel was the latter type, but it was his mistakes to make. "I sorry it upsets you. I'm sorry you are afraid for me. But they are my mistakes to make. I've never been allowed to make mistakes. Everything's planned and prepped for me. My job is all because my father didn't want to be part of Jivana. My life has all been planned for me. I need this, Rachel. I need to follow through with wherever this leads -- dangerous or not. It's not in the plan. But I think it's necessary. And yes I might fall. I could even die. But this." he held up the coin. "Is more than just a trinket. It has two sides, and I need to embrace them both if I'm going to find true meaning in it."

"I know it's not what you signed up for. And I won't pull you into it anymore than you already are. I can only hope that Cam and Sis will not pull you in further, but I don't know them at all. They are just always there...Maybe this is good to have happened now. I like us, but if you don't feel safe then I don't want to hurt you. I don't know where this is taking me, and I don't think there is anything you can say that will make me change my mind."