Yesterday, 07:01 PM
Hayden shook his head. "I'll be 100% honest with you. I would rather be sitting here talking with Nox. Not because I like him better. But he's easy. You sit. You listen and he figures his shit out. That's how he works. You make me work!" He grinned as he teased her. "Nox is fine. Nox being numb isn't the end of the world for him. For me. And you it might feel that way. But I actually think he's more content now than he's been in his entire life. I'm not saying he's good, or that there's nothing wrong. I'm just saying, right now. You do not need to worry about him. He has a plan. May not understand it yet, but he has one. You and me, we need to focus on you. He can't factor into any of this. Got it?"
He didn't expect Anna would leave. He wouldn't leave his best friend if he had one either. He apologized as he hefted Elyse into his lap and held her tightly against him. "You have to get over the fact that you don't think you are worth any of this Elyse. Your problems aren't less than anyone elses. Your life is not any less meaningful than anyone elses. Those kids have a shit deal handed to them. So does Nox. But that doesn't mean your happy childhood, your raising in the Atharim are any less valid. Every time you think that or say that to me from now on I'm gonna flick your ear. And I'll know if you think it when I'm not there." It was a jest mostly. He did intend to flick her ear every time she said it.
"It's okay if you don't know who you are. You'll figure it out. We'll figure it out. But you have to live to do that. Elyse, you need to find that one thing remember? What makes you get out of bed in the morning. Let's talk about that. Right now it can be a total lie. It has to make you want to live." Hayden looked around no one but Anna seemed to pay them much mind as they sat on the floor. He took a deep breath and spoke softly. "I don't need motivation most days to get out of bed, but I have my why. I get out of bed to show my father -- my real father than I a better man than he'll ever be." Hayden didn't hate Ethan gave him up. He didn't much care that he'd been 13. He didn't hate his parents for keeping it from him or hiding the truth. But most of his life he'd always had to live up to Ethan's reputation. He followed behind his brother/father. He was always compared to him. But Ethan was just another lowlife millionaire with a pedigree that made him what he was. He hadn't earned anything. He had his reasons and his own anger. But very few people knew the heart of it. And he wouldn't share that with Elyse-- not now -- maybe not ever, but she could know even he needed a reason some days to get out of bed.
He didn't expect Anna would leave. He wouldn't leave his best friend if he had one either. He apologized as he hefted Elyse into his lap and held her tightly against him. "You have to get over the fact that you don't think you are worth any of this Elyse. Your problems aren't less than anyone elses. Your life is not any less meaningful than anyone elses. Those kids have a shit deal handed to them. So does Nox. But that doesn't mean your happy childhood, your raising in the Atharim are any less valid. Every time you think that or say that to me from now on I'm gonna flick your ear. And I'll know if you think it when I'm not there." It was a jest mostly. He did intend to flick her ear every time she said it.
"It's okay if you don't know who you are. You'll figure it out. We'll figure it out. But you have to live to do that. Elyse, you need to find that one thing remember? What makes you get out of bed in the morning. Let's talk about that. Right now it can be a total lie. It has to make you want to live." Hayden looked around no one but Anna seemed to pay them much mind as they sat on the floor. He took a deep breath and spoke softly. "I don't need motivation most days to get out of bed, but I have my why. I get out of bed to show my father -- my real father than I a better man than he'll ever be." Hayden didn't hate Ethan gave him up. He didn't much care that he'd been 13. He didn't hate his parents for keeping it from him or hiding the truth. But most of his life he'd always had to live up to Ethan's reputation. He followed behind his brother/father. He was always compared to him. But Ethan was just another lowlife millionaire with a pedigree that made him what he was. He hadn't earned anything. He had his reasons and his own anger. But very few people knew the heart of it. And he wouldn't share that with Elyse-- not now -- maybe not ever, but she could know even he needed a reason some days to get out of bed.