The Long Way Home

[Nox]

They were close. So close. It would be easy just to lean in and kiss him. Nox stared into Jay's eyes. And he wondered if Jay really understood what he'd done, what he'd come between what he'd started that night in the tunnels with a kiss.

Nox held no compulsions against sleeping with Jay again. There was a thought rattling around his brain that said if he did it might mean he was truly done waiting, wanting, done with hope. He'd slept with countless people since breaking up with Raffe. Though that was different -- this was different.

Nox reached across the distance between then and leaned in. "You started the digging by ignoring my protest." Nox didn't blame Jay, not for any of it. But he had kissed him, he had touched him. Nox had been weak, he knew it was still all his fault that their lives were in hell. "I'm sorry I ruined your life with mine." He pulled Jay's coat closer and kissed him. It wasn't romantic, or tender, but it held the passion he felt for Jay, He knew exactly how he had felt for the man. The intense emotions. He wasn't the one. He was never going to be that but he was something. He'd always been something.