Nox listened to Elyse's simple explanation, she didn't know what really went on down in the basement only the exit strategy and Jay slipping out the door smelling like sex and him. There were things that either of them didn't know. Hadn't been told. It didn't matter anyway, not anymore.
There was breif stab of guilt in Nox's body at what had gone down that night. There was a stab of sadness that Jay blamed their first night together on being drunk. It had been an awakening for him, he hadn't been drunk. Nox had found himself in Jay and that was the reason he was tempting, always there when Nox needed that reminder of who he was. He woke him up from the closeted mindset of his father and it could have all been just a mistake for Jay.
And then he apologized to her. There was fury in his veins for a brief moment. Nox shook the bottle of formula for Lily a little harder than usual as the feeling faded. Nox tried to hold on to the feeling even the anger. He wanted to feel something. Hayden had been right not feeling sucked. But so does the guilt and the nightmares. He was fucked either way.
Sky spoke through the speak on his phone in the hushed mechanical voice of her whisper. "The car is here."
Nox nodded and headed down the hall to Lily's room and sent a text to Jay.
The car is here. Doors are unlocked. I release you from your captivity. And again I'm sorry for everything including my vapid mouth.
And then he sent Liam a text
The car is here. I'm feeding Lily, the kitchen is empty. He doesn't need to see me.
Nox smiled geniuniely down at Lily as she started to stir, she hadn't fully woken yet as he picked her up and carried her to the rocking chair to feed her. This was the only time he was every happy or felt anything real for more than a fleeting moment -- when he held her in his arms. It made him want to cry but there were no tears to be had. There was nothing but dull gray life with moments of color like this. But it would fade in a moment, no matter how many smiles he got from her, or coos or giggles it always faded.
There was breif stab of guilt in Nox's body at what had gone down that night. There was a stab of sadness that Jay blamed their first night together on being drunk. It had been an awakening for him, he hadn't been drunk. Nox had found himself in Jay and that was the reason he was tempting, always there when Nox needed that reminder of who he was. He woke him up from the closeted mindset of his father and it could have all been just a mistake for Jay.
And then he apologized to her. There was fury in his veins for a brief moment. Nox shook the bottle of formula for Lily a little harder than usual as the feeling faded. Nox tried to hold on to the feeling even the anger. He wanted to feel something. Hayden had been right not feeling sucked. But so does the guilt and the nightmares. He was fucked either way.
Sky spoke through the speak on his phone in the hushed mechanical voice of her whisper. "The car is here."
Nox nodded and headed down the hall to Lily's room and sent a text to Jay.
The car is here. Doors are unlocked. I release you from your captivity. And again I'm sorry for everything including my vapid mouth.
And then he sent Liam a text
The car is here. I'm feeding Lily, the kitchen is empty. He doesn't need to see me.
Nox smiled geniuniely down at Lily as she started to stir, she hadn't fully woken yet as he picked her up and carried her to the rocking chair to feed her. This was the only time he was every happy or felt anything real for more than a fleeting moment -- when he held her in his arms. It made him want to cry but there were no tears to be had. There was nothing but dull gray life with moments of color like this. But it would fade in a moment, no matter how many smiles he got from her, or coos or giggles it always faded.
![[Image: nox_sig.gif]](http://thefirstage.org/wp-content/uploads/2023/08/nox_sig.gif)