What Now?

[Nox]

Nox blinked at Oriena's answer. He wasn't sure which one she had agreed to -- or both. He wasn't surprised she didn't acknowledge his prior quip but he sat up the blankets pooling around his waist. There was nothing bashful in him but there was a disturbance of his self being with the new scars. It wasn't that he was ashamed. Mostly just saddened that they made moving more difficult. He was moving easier each day, but it was just as much work to get back to where he was, as it was to maintain what he had earned. It was a never ending cycle.

It was in silence that Nox slide out of bed and searched his clothes for the wallet. He could have just spoke aloud to have Sky order food, she was always listening much like he had depended on Wicked before. Sage had created her just for that purpose. Not that Nox still didn't just talk to Wicked over his phone like usual, but the mundane and banal things Sky could handle.

Nox sat back down on the edge of the bed and leaned his elbows on his knees staring at the floor. His mind way not feel anything, but it was always moving, always thinking.

He sighed. Oriena was never one he talked to, she hated listening and would leave. But she was the only one who might even understand anything. He wasn't looking for answers. And he was afraid of saying what was on his mind out loud. Saying it might mean it was over. Maybe that's why it escaped his lips in a low stagnant voice. No emotion filled his voice. It was the new normal. "I don't think Raffe and I were ever on the same page." He didn't elaborate. Didn't say more though he thought about when he'd asked Raffe to look for a place with him. How there was no excitement to his lovers responses, how he said "we'll see what you find." Nox had chased Raffe until Raffe gave in.

Nox let out a long low sigh and closed his eyes. The feelings were fleeting. He tried to hang on to the love and the joy. But nothing ever stayed. It was empty, not worth living, but he'd made a promise. He made many promises, and he broke one that ruined his life... he couldn't break any others. What else did he have to offer.

Nox didn't bother asking Oriena what she'd want. He knew enough of her preferences to order. Though he didn't quite order what he would have in prior encounters. His choices were much healthier and much less in quantity.