Linking Experiments (Kallisti)

[Nox]

Feelings rushed through his body, and if it weren't for the emptiness of the power that lingered ever so closely, he'd have felt every ounce of it. Instead, it slide around the outside of his mind. He was aware of it, but he didn't feel it. Hayden had been called. It hadn't surprised him, not really. Hayden was their go to guy when anything emotional happened.

Hayden got down to eye level and put his hand on his knee. Nox wanted to push it away. It was his fault that the horde was back. He'd talked Nox into the whole thing. "I told you, I'd rather you be feral than not yourself."

Nox pushed Hayden's hand from his knee and stood up, Hayden following with the abruptness. "And where does that fucking leave me. YOU are okay with this." Nox's hands indicated the whole of his body from shoulder to knees in one quick moment and than shoved Hayden away from him. "You don't love me. You don't want to go there. So what the fuck does it matter if you accept it."

Nox stalked away from Hayden, but the other man grabbed Nox's mechanical elbow and spoke softly "Nox. This is better. Trust me."

Nox turned around and jabbed his index finger of his good hand into Hayden's chest. "Trust you. Do you know what it feels like to almost kill someone because you have no fucking control over your instincts and emotions? Do you have any fucking idea?" Nox felt the anger rolling around outside the emptiness and he dropped the power. It taunted him in his periphery and breathed a sigh of releif that it hadn't faded when he let it go. It had been a fear as well -- what if it was only temporary.

Hayden noticed the slight relaxing and tensing of Nox's body, he let go of Nox's arm. "I don't. But we'll get through it. We'll work on it. Maybe it's not as bad as you think. Maybe it's only residual."

Nox's eyes dropped to the floor. Hayden could be right. It could be different. He only felt the sludge on the power. He hadn't heard the horde yet, there was a slight buzz but nothing so distinct he could pinpoint it. Not at this distance anyway. "And if it's not?"

Hayden put his finger under Nox's chin and made him meet his eyes. "Then we'll work on it. And by the way, I do love you, just not in the way you want. I'm here aren't I? I'll always be here for you. Your fucking little quirks burrowed their way into my heart and I can't escape your gravity."

Nox smirked, a real one, it felt good to feel again. "Are you calling me fat?"

Hayden chuckled. "Than a solar system." Hayden leaned in and kissed Nox gently. "You good?"

Nox shook his head. "No, but I'll be fine. Go deal with Marta, I don't think she took my healing any better than I did." Hayden looked at Nox with concern. "I'll be fine. I'm not going to hurt myself. I promise. I'm not starving, or in the mood to fight, even though I'm still sorta pissed at you, and I'm not aching for sex. I'm good. I'll keep you apprised."

Hayden chuckled. "I'll stop by when you are done with work."

Nox nodded and Hayden lingered a while longer watching Nox and Nox rolled his eyes. But he eventually left the way he came and Nox sat back down in the chair that had given back his power. He was grateful. Though he felt too much. It hurt everything that he felt. The power taunted him and he reached through the sludge with sorrow but he seized control of the dark light and fought with the power. It was glorious. It was life. It was everything.