Yesterday, 12:02 PM
Rachel slept a dreamless sleep. She remembered laying her head down on the pillow and then the next thing was her eyes opening into a room filled with bright sunlight. Rachel sat up, feeling refreshed. It was an odd feeling. She hadn't felt this well rested in a long time. Rachel got out of bed, her pajamas a simple tank top and shorts. Sitting on the corner of the desk by the window, she looked outside.
Snow covered the ground, but the sky was clear. The morning sun reflected off of white snowbanks. The streets were clear and plowed. A few houses down, a group of children were chasing each other through the snow, throwing snowballs at each other. Rachel smiled until she felt the slight tremor in her hand. Lucio...she...needed him. Rachel frowned briefly and then squeezed her hand shut. So the fear was healed, but her addiction was not. That was fine. The withdrawals weren't as bad as they had been and would go with time. The fear had exacerbated it. She could deal with that until it was done. Distractions would help.
Rachel thought of the last couple weeks, still a blur on when things happened, but she found herself able to remember more of the events even if she wasn't sure they were in order. She remembered holding a baby, handed off to her by a young man named Liam. She didn't remember the fear she felt then, only the way the baby had looked and cooed at her. Rachel would have to remember to thank Liam for that. It had meant more than he knew. Rachel remembered an excited Emily, pointing at an ultrasound picture - Rachel's little niece or nephew that Emily was now carrying. She remembered family - Jared, Emily, and Mara, and their friends being there for her. And she remembered Elyse. Elyse had been an almost constant, only being in her mind slightly less than her immediate family. She remembered the dance and the way the woman had made her feel. She could feel her cheeks heat up as she remembered a time when Elyse had been walking away and how Rachel couldn't turn her gaze away from her swaying hips.
Rachel picked up her wallet. Hey Elyse! Good Morning! Merry Christmas.
Rachel had moved to put her wallet down, but it chimed a notification quickly. Good Morning! Merry Christmas! How are you?
Rachel smiled. Great! I'm better now. The fear is taken care of, but still sometimes feel some withdrawals -.-
That's great! I'm sure there is a story there, but I feel like you'd rather tell it in person. Don't worry about the withdrawals - they will go away in time.
I know. It will be frustrating, but I'll deal. I'd love to see you soon.
I'd love that too. We'll set a time soon
Sounds great! Rachel paused briefly before sending a second text. She wanted to be clear what she meant. It's a date!
Elyse simply texted back three face with heart emojis. Rachel smiled and responded in kind before saying she needed to get ready for Christmas with Jared and her sisters. Rachel turned back to the outside, feeling a little bit like Scrooge at the end of the Dickens' novel. Not that she had been haunted by three Christmas spirits, but as she looked out on that Christmas morning, she saw the world differently. There was fear there, not the fear that she had been trapped in. It was a healthy fear that told Rachel the world wasn't as black and white as she had thought and that she wasn't always safe. But among all that was life, happiness, family and friends. She understood Cruz a little more then, even if she still thought his method of finding it out was extreme. She wouldn't wish her experience on anyone.
Rachel lost herself in her thoughts. She needed to figure some things out, and that meant she had to make some changes. She began to think about what she needed to do to find herself. She needed to find out who she was, and what better time to start that than now. She hoped that Jared, Emily, and Mara would understand. They weren't bad changes, but they might take them the wrong way. Rachel would be honest though. She needed to find out who she was, and to do that, she had to start becoming more independent. She wasn't sure now was the time to work on her Masters. She wanted to find a job, work, and find a place to live on her own. She hoped they understood. Rachel stood up and went to her closet. She saw there a light blue dress - nothing fancy, but still nice. She hadn't worn dresses since Lucio. Rachel smiled as she reached for it.
Snow covered the ground, but the sky was clear. The morning sun reflected off of white snowbanks. The streets were clear and plowed. A few houses down, a group of children were chasing each other through the snow, throwing snowballs at each other. Rachel smiled until she felt the slight tremor in her hand. Lucio...she...needed him. Rachel frowned briefly and then squeezed her hand shut. So the fear was healed, but her addiction was not. That was fine. The withdrawals weren't as bad as they had been and would go with time. The fear had exacerbated it. She could deal with that until it was done. Distractions would help.
Rachel thought of the last couple weeks, still a blur on when things happened, but she found herself able to remember more of the events even if she wasn't sure they were in order. She remembered holding a baby, handed off to her by a young man named Liam. She didn't remember the fear she felt then, only the way the baby had looked and cooed at her. Rachel would have to remember to thank Liam for that. It had meant more than he knew. Rachel remembered an excited Emily, pointing at an ultrasound picture - Rachel's little niece or nephew that Emily was now carrying. She remembered family - Jared, Emily, and Mara, and their friends being there for her. And she remembered Elyse. Elyse had been an almost constant, only being in her mind slightly less than her immediate family. She remembered the dance and the way the woman had made her feel. She could feel her cheeks heat up as she remembered a time when Elyse had been walking away and how Rachel couldn't turn her gaze away from her swaying hips.
Rachel picked up her wallet. Hey Elyse! Good Morning! Merry Christmas.
Rachel had moved to put her wallet down, but it chimed a notification quickly. Good Morning! Merry Christmas! How are you?
Rachel smiled. Great! I'm better now. The fear is taken care of, but still sometimes feel some withdrawals -.-
That's great! I'm sure there is a story there, but I feel like you'd rather tell it in person. Don't worry about the withdrawals - they will go away in time.
I know. It will be frustrating, but I'll deal. I'd love to see you soon.
I'd love that too. We'll set a time soon
Sounds great! Rachel paused briefly before sending a second text. She wanted to be clear what she meant. It's a date!
Elyse simply texted back three face with heart emojis. Rachel smiled and responded in kind before saying she needed to get ready for Christmas with Jared and her sisters. Rachel turned back to the outside, feeling a little bit like Scrooge at the end of the Dickens' novel. Not that she had been haunted by three Christmas spirits, but as she looked out on that Christmas morning, she saw the world differently. There was fear there, not the fear that she had been trapped in. It was a healthy fear that told Rachel the world wasn't as black and white as she had thought and that she wasn't always safe. But among all that was life, happiness, family and friends. She understood Cruz a little more then, even if she still thought his method of finding it out was extreme. She wouldn't wish her experience on anyone.
Rachel lost herself in her thoughts. She needed to figure some things out, and that meant she had to make some changes. She began to think about what she needed to do to find herself. She needed to find out who she was, and what better time to start that than now. She hoped that Jared, Emily, and Mara would understand. They weren't bad changes, but they might take them the wrong way. Rachel would be honest though. She needed to find out who she was, and to do that, she had to start becoming more independent. She wasn't sure now was the time to work on her Masters. She wanted to find a job, work, and find a place to live on her own. She hoped they understood. Rachel stood up and went to her closet. She saw there a light blue dress - nothing fancy, but still nice. She hadn't worn dresses since Lucio. Rachel smiled as she reached for it.