[The Garden] Praeceptor of the Reliquiae

[Nox]

Nox laughed. It wasn't a funny laugh. "How do I ..." He couldn't help but laugh again. The irony was too much "I made myself a promise." He could add a jab to what he was feeling exactly right now. Make it hurt, but he didn't. He didn't bring up the past. It was done. And he was past it all now. There was nothing here but a lingering friendship he was trying to pull back from the brink. And Nox wasn't even sure Jay wanted it -- not after walking out on him the last time they'd been together. That sting hurt more now than it had at the time.

Nox sighed. It was a long breath, deep and he closed his eyes relaxing into it. "I wake up everyday not wanting to be like my father -- to take the cowards way out. I refuse to be like him. I refuse to let my pain and sorrow be my life. I wake up everyday knowing that today I'm alive. I have a baby girl who needs me. I have a family that rely on me. I have friends who care. All the shit that makes me want to put said bullet in my brain, draw upon the power until I burn to a crisp don't mean shit when I have them. And I'm a man of my word despite whatever fucking shit I've done to fuck up my life. I don't break my promises."