09-11-2026, 12:37 AM
Iason’s healing had worked. Rachel’s emotions were her own now, but despite all of the healer’s power, Rachel still had scars, and she still had been changed by Lucio’s emotional manipulation. Fear was the big one. She got scared easier. Adrian’s reaction triggered that.
Had she been standing, Rachel would have stepped away. Instead her gaze lowered from his and her hands, previously around her cup wrapped around her abdomen on a protective gesture. She shook a little but quickly got that under control, and when she spoke, it was quiet and reserved.
”I didn’t know,” she said. Her brain registered that Adrian probably wasn’t trying to scare her, but she wasn’t rational when her mind did this. She tried to calm herself, working enough to simply make it so she could talk and try to defuse him. ”I thought you’d be happy because your investment was working. I…I had good teachers - like Em, Zhe, and Natalie and they said,” she paused, searching for the words that Zhenya had told her. ”I learned it backwards - how to control before the magic came. They didn’t…i was lucky. I didn’t get sick and I learned the hard part first. How to yield without disappearing. A luxury you didn’t have.”
She chanced a look up. Tears welling in her eyes, but not falling. ”I hear it’s not the same for men…that yielding doesn’t work. And sometimes people can’t do it all the time because there is some sort of block that stops it. Maybe that’s why you struggle I don’t know. I didn’t know you could. I didn’t mean to offend…” her speed quickened and she shifted in her chair. The response was all based in her trauma, regardless of how she understood it. Her posture shifted, ready to stand if she had to. She knew why it was happening, and knew it shouldn’t be. It made her hate Lucio more and in some ways hate herself for her failures.
Had she been standing, Rachel would have stepped away. Instead her gaze lowered from his and her hands, previously around her cup wrapped around her abdomen on a protective gesture. She shook a little but quickly got that under control, and when she spoke, it was quiet and reserved.
”I didn’t know,” she said. Her brain registered that Adrian probably wasn’t trying to scare her, but she wasn’t rational when her mind did this. She tried to calm herself, working enough to simply make it so she could talk and try to defuse him. ”I thought you’d be happy because your investment was working. I…I had good teachers - like Em, Zhe, and Natalie and they said,” she paused, searching for the words that Zhenya had told her. ”I learned it backwards - how to control before the magic came. They didn’t…i was lucky. I didn’t get sick and I learned the hard part first. How to yield without disappearing. A luxury you didn’t have.”
She chanced a look up. Tears welling in her eyes, but not falling. ”I hear it’s not the same for men…that yielding doesn’t work. And sometimes people can’t do it all the time because there is some sort of block that stops it. Maybe that’s why you struggle I don’t know. I didn’t know you could. I didn’t mean to offend…” her speed quickened and she shifted in her chair. The response was all based in her trauma, regardless of how she understood it. Her posture shifted, ready to stand if she had to. She knew why it was happening, and knew it shouldn’t be. It made her hate Lucio more and in some ways hate herself for her failures.