01-18-2018, 03:04 PM
She laughed to herself softly. Tenzin reminded her of Julie. Younger than she was but confident. Maybe even a bit bossy. Heh....how old was Julie now? 37? 38? Probably a mother. That was never in the cards for her. Somehow, it just never felt like something she could do.
But Julie went on to have a life. The relief she'd felt- she still felt- was something she could almost touch. Injured and nearly dead- broken and bleeding in so many ways- and yet seeing Julie go on into the night, to her future. It was worth it. It had been worth it. She had lived for both of them. That made her smile.
And somehow, Jacinda just decided to let go. Just for a moment. To stop trying, stop the posturing, stop the facade, the image. Stop being in control.
To be human again. Cared for as a human.
Tenzin was gentle as she helped her undress, into the shower, even as the water stung her skin. She let the physical pain come to her, let herself feel her body and its scars and tears and bruises scream their protests. She was alive. Still alive. After all these years. Not dead yet. Mostly.
The feel of fingers through her hair brought back a distant memory, one she couldn't place. It was peaceful though. A safer time. The dried tracks of her tears washed away and with it, the memory that had threatened to overwhelm her, to take her over, letting go back to its hidden place.
The warm water off, her skin pebbled but the towel was warm and soft. The pains were still there, but lessened. Her back still hurt, when she walked, but she'd live.
Tenzin had her sit and went for the first aid kit. The humidity dissipated as the door opened and she resisted the urge to cover her shoulders. She'd been cold before and she'd be cold again.
She returned and carefully washed out the various cuts and abrasions with alcohol. The shoulder got the most vigorous of treatment and it hurt, but she was ok. It was just pain. In that case, she used the bioglue to bond the edges together and close the wound. Everything else just received ointments and bandages.
She was no nonsense about the whole thing. Professional, but her hands were very kind. Quietly, "Thank you. I'm not sure what is going on with me. But thank you."
She rose carefully. "Can you give me a second."
Tenzin left the room and Jacinda went to the cabinet next to the wash room, found some spare clothing- undergarments, sweats, socks- and dressed quickly.
Tenzin was was seated at the table, quiet. "I'm not normally like this."
Not something she'd say- she never explained anything about herself to anyone. She didn't care if people liked her. But this time she did. She sat down next to her and looked at her for a moment, studying. She was so quiet, but there had been small bursts of humor that broke through. She'd noticed.
She was still tired and a bit buzzed, but the shower had helped. And something else had happened. She felt purged a little. The wall had dropped. She tentatively reached out a hand and touched Tenzin's. "Thank you sister."
She wasn't sure what else to say. But tonight had been a much needed kindness.
Edited by Jacinda, Jan 19 2018, 11:32 AM.
But Julie went on to have a life. The relief she'd felt- she still felt- was something she could almost touch. Injured and nearly dead- broken and bleeding in so many ways- and yet seeing Julie go on into the night, to her future. It was worth it. It had been worth it. She had lived for both of them. That made her smile.
And somehow, Jacinda just decided to let go. Just for a moment. To stop trying, stop the posturing, stop the facade, the image. Stop being in control.
To be human again. Cared for as a human.
Tenzin was gentle as she helped her undress, into the shower, even as the water stung her skin. She let the physical pain come to her, let herself feel her body and its scars and tears and bruises scream their protests. She was alive. Still alive. After all these years. Not dead yet. Mostly.
The feel of fingers through her hair brought back a distant memory, one she couldn't place. It was peaceful though. A safer time. The dried tracks of her tears washed away and with it, the memory that had threatened to overwhelm her, to take her over, letting go back to its hidden place.
The warm water off, her skin pebbled but the towel was warm and soft. The pains were still there, but lessened. Her back still hurt, when she walked, but she'd live.
Tenzin had her sit and went for the first aid kit. The humidity dissipated as the door opened and she resisted the urge to cover her shoulders. She'd been cold before and she'd be cold again.
She returned and carefully washed out the various cuts and abrasions with alcohol. The shoulder got the most vigorous of treatment and it hurt, but she was ok. It was just pain. In that case, she used the bioglue to bond the edges together and close the wound. Everything else just received ointments and bandages.
She was no nonsense about the whole thing. Professional, but her hands were very kind. Quietly, "Thank you. I'm not sure what is going on with me. But thank you."
She rose carefully. "Can you give me a second."
Tenzin left the room and Jacinda went to the cabinet next to the wash room, found some spare clothing- undergarments, sweats, socks- and dressed quickly.
Tenzin was was seated at the table, quiet. "I'm not normally like this."
Not something she'd say- she never explained anything about herself to anyone. She didn't care if people liked her. But this time she did. She sat down next to her and looked at her for a moment, studying. She was so quiet, but there had been small bursts of humor that broke through. She'd noticed.
She was still tired and a bit buzzed, but the shower had helped. And something else had happened. She felt purged a little. The wall had dropped. She tentatively reached out a hand and touched Tenzin's. "Thank you sister."
She wasn't sure what else to say. But tonight had been a much needed kindness.
Edited by Jacinda, Jan 19 2018, 11:32 AM.