01-05-2015, 01:22 PM
Calvin sat in the chair waiting for Dr. Pirozzi to arrive. He had arrived before her - mostly because he had been working up the courage to actually show up. When he found that courage he left before he couldn't second guess it. Mr. Volachov had scared him. He said he couldn't fire him if he didn't get help, but anymore trouble and Calvin would be gone. Calvin knew if he didn't, he wouldn't get better. The alcohol and sex weren't helping anymore. The fights were only a temporary relief as well.
Without these things though, Calvin had been forced to face his issues, and was having a hard time with it as he sat waiting. Even with Jensen's help, he was having trouble focusing. The result was terrifying. He seemed to feel so many emotions at once - sadness, anger, fear, anxiety, and regret cycled through his mind so quickly that it felt like they were all there at the same time. He felt overwhelmed and confused. He couldn't latch on to one - he didn't know why, but it somehow felt important that he knew what he was feeling. On top of that, he could feel the depression scratching at the back of his thoughts and begging him to go get alcohol. Tears started to fall as he felt more overwhelmed and he buried his face in his hands as he cried.
Calvin tried to rein in the tears. He didn't want to go in like that. He was sure that when he hadn't made a good impression when he set up the appointment. He had been drunk when he did it. He felt more shame at that. Regardless, the appointment had been scheduled and he was here to be treated for depression and substance abuse. He just didn't know if it would help or if this Alex even wanted to help him. He still didn't think he deserved it.
The tears went away and Calvin wiped his eyes. They were probably still red, but he didn't care. He was trying to fight this demon inside of him that wouldn't leave him alone, so he sat and waited for Dr. Pirozzi.
Without these things though, Calvin had been forced to face his issues, and was having a hard time with it as he sat waiting. Even with Jensen's help, he was having trouble focusing. The result was terrifying. He seemed to feel so many emotions at once - sadness, anger, fear, anxiety, and regret cycled through his mind so quickly that it felt like they were all there at the same time. He felt overwhelmed and confused. He couldn't latch on to one - he didn't know why, but it somehow felt important that he knew what he was feeling. On top of that, he could feel the depression scratching at the back of his thoughts and begging him to go get alcohol. Tears started to fall as he felt more overwhelmed and he buried his face in his hands as he cried.
Calvin tried to rein in the tears. He didn't want to go in like that. He was sure that when he hadn't made a good impression when he set up the appointment. He had been drunk when he did it. He felt more shame at that. Regardless, the appointment had been scheduled and he was here to be treated for depression and substance abuse. He just didn't know if it would help or if this Alex even wanted to help him. He still didn't think he deserved it.
The tears went away and Calvin wiped his eyes. They were probably still red, but he didn't care. He was trying to fight this demon inside of him that wouldn't leave him alone, so he sat and waited for Dr. Pirozzi.