01-08-2015, 04:54 PM
Instinct against humanity. It was the fight going on inside of him. Instinct had driven his actions - instinct to bury the pain and instinct to lash out at others. It was this that Calvin had to get control of. Even though he felt like an animal, and that bestial nature inside of him pushed that feeling, he was a human being and needed to learn how to control it. It was a part of him - and he had to turn that curse into a blessing.
Calvin sat in silence for awhile. Alex was good at what she did. For the first time in a long time, the fog in his head was lifting and he could see things a little clearer than usual. He thought about what she had told him. He let it truly sink in. The effort reminded him of his wolf name and what it meant. Calvin realized then how much he missed Dawn Wind.
A pack - Alex said he needed one. He would have to talk with Sierra. Hopefully she would forgive him. Part of him still blamed himself for Snow, and he should have been there for her. Instead he had abandoned her because of his own pain. He had been selfish and hopefully she would forgive him for it.
Inside, he began to feel calm. It was a relief. Calvin began to digest her words. They began to make sense and he felt like he had a clear path to recovery. It might be difficult, but it would happen. It was also a relief that she had believed him. Calvin's thoughts went to Alex's smile and her talk of everyone having secrets. Whether or not she was hinting that she had some sort of supernatural power like his own. He was curious about it and wondered if she was one of the powerful two-legs or something different. Perhaps he was reading too much into it though.
After a long silence, Calvin spoke. "Thank you, doctor. You've given me a lot to think about, and I feel a lot better. I can see things a little better now too, and I think you've given me really good suggestions. I'll follow them. Do you know of any AA meetings that are happening - if not I should be able to find them, but I'd like to get started right away. I'm afraid if I put it off for too long...I'll..."
Calvin didn't finish the sentence, but it was obvious where he was going. Instead he changed subjects. "I've seen what happens to people like me...when the wolf really takes over. I don't want that to happen to me. I'd like to keep coming to talk if that's okay. Maybe just to go over my progress or vent or anything. I don't want to waste your time Doctor, but if it's okay, I'd like to keep seeing you. Talking today helped more than I thought it would."
The request was sincere, but Calvin's thoughts turned towards the nightmare he had - it had been real and he had the scars to prove it. She believed him about the wolf, and he wondered if she would believe him about the dream and the nightmare.
Calvin steeled himself. "I have something else - what...do you know about nightmares. Have you ever heard about them hurting people - like physically?"
Edited by Calvin, Jan 8 2015, 04:54 PM.
Calvin sat in silence for awhile. Alex was good at what she did. For the first time in a long time, the fog in his head was lifting and he could see things a little clearer than usual. He thought about what she had told him. He let it truly sink in. The effort reminded him of his wolf name and what it meant. Calvin realized then how much he missed Dawn Wind.
A pack - Alex said he needed one. He would have to talk with Sierra. Hopefully she would forgive him. Part of him still blamed himself for Snow, and he should have been there for her. Instead he had abandoned her because of his own pain. He had been selfish and hopefully she would forgive him for it.
Inside, he began to feel calm. It was a relief. Calvin began to digest her words. They began to make sense and he felt like he had a clear path to recovery. It might be difficult, but it would happen. It was also a relief that she had believed him. Calvin's thoughts went to Alex's smile and her talk of everyone having secrets. Whether or not she was hinting that she had some sort of supernatural power like his own. He was curious about it and wondered if she was one of the powerful two-legs or something different. Perhaps he was reading too much into it though.
After a long silence, Calvin spoke. "Thank you, doctor. You've given me a lot to think about, and I feel a lot better. I can see things a little better now too, and I think you've given me really good suggestions. I'll follow them. Do you know of any AA meetings that are happening - if not I should be able to find them, but I'd like to get started right away. I'm afraid if I put it off for too long...I'll..."
Calvin didn't finish the sentence, but it was obvious where he was going. Instead he changed subjects. "I've seen what happens to people like me...when the wolf really takes over. I don't want that to happen to me. I'd like to keep coming to talk if that's okay. Maybe just to go over my progress or vent or anything. I don't want to waste your time Doctor, but if it's okay, I'd like to keep seeing you. Talking today helped more than I thought it would."
The request was sincere, but Calvin's thoughts turned towards the nightmare he had - it had been real and he had the scars to prove it. She believed him about the wolf, and he wondered if she would believe him about the dream and the nightmare.
Calvin steeled himself. "I have something else - what...do you know about nightmares. Have you ever heard about them hurting people - like physically?"
Edited by Calvin, Jan 8 2015, 04:54 PM.