Don't belong here (Almaz)

[Nox]

A great menacing presence grew in his vicinity. And then the next moment Jay was in front of him yelling. “Are you fucking kidding me? The fuck is your problem?”

Nox blinked as Jay shoved him. The horde’s ire rose and he growled. ”The fuck is your problem.” Nox reached for the power to match Jay’s fury, sliding through the gloom of the horde’s taint to it with out the usual horror. They were angry, they wanted a fight and this was a good match. They knew. They had felt him. The connection to horde was weak but they felt stronger now. He could pin point their direction in that moment but his attention was on the glare he held with Jay.

The bouncer from before grabbed Nox by the arm and shoved something in is side. ”Careful.You just can’t seem to stay out of trouble. Can you?”

Another bouncer was on Jay pushing what looked like a metal prod into his side as well and before either of them could think a zap of electricity flowed through them. A fucking cattle prod was the last thing Nox thought before he cunvusled as the zap ran through his body.

They bouncers dragged them both off to hatches in the floor. A smooth panel shift across and a dark hole greeted Nox as they flung him through.

He tumbled down, the last of the light closed when the hatch closed and Nox rolled down a dark tunnel. All sense of distance and height left from his mind with the stun from the prod and now the tumble into darkness.

It wasn’t long before another light came into view and Nox tumbled on to the cement floor and a grate slide down after him. The lights blared down, but there was a cheer from above and Nox held his hand above his eyes and looked up into the arena he’d vacated before.

Nox’s eyes adjusted and saw Jay not too far from himself.

[Jay Carpenter]

That’s all he had to say. The fuck is your problem. Barely even bothered by the interruption. Nox might as well have hand-waved the nuisance from sight. Be barely bothered to call for guards to clear the room of the disturbance. A fucking text message  after they cleared the caverns of shit straight out of a nightmare. Fuck him! Fuck him and Jay’s own fucking feelings.

It wasn’t his first fight in a bar. Swole guys thinking pretty highly of themselves liked to step up like they could break apart what was coming. Let them try. One hovered over Nox’s shoulder. And the cuts on Nox’s face came into bright red view. He hadn’t realized he’d grabbed ahold of the power. So Nox had already found a fight tonight. Probably won it since he was still standing and looking none too worse for wear. Jay smirked as a second swole guy pulled at Jay’s shoulder. Let them have a go of it. Make it more even fight than some poor bitch Nox probably pound into the pavement. Give them a real show. He let the asshole pull him apart, but when something jammed into his flank, Jay reacted with an instinct that hadn’t shown itself since he marched for the red, white and blue.

An elbow flew into the bouncer’s face. Knocked him back. But they were smart and had a second right on his heels. His arm swiped defense, but the wand was already active. The hot stick landed on his chest, and Jay crumpled like a sack of potatoes. They practiced this in basic training. He remembered how afraid some of the guy were as they all stood in line to get their shock. They didn’t show it so obvious as to be cowards, but Jay recognized the nervous swaying on feet. The anxiety to get it over with. The cringe at the nose when the one up front crumpled or pissed himself or moaned afterward.

Of all them, Jay had been the one who actually raised cattle. He’d held the wands. He used them. He’d felt the bite before.

But it wasn’t barns and green fields that he saw when the shocks rippled his skin. It wasn’t distant memories that made him cry out. Actually afraid this time. It was being strapped in a chair. Battery cables and buckets of water he saw. Placaso’s face leering above. Knife in hand to slice away the Raider’s tattoo from his arm. He had to get away. Couldn’t survive it twice. The burns throbbed long after the wand was switched off. It pushed tears from his eyes. And he tucked his head under his arms. But they were dragging him. Every muscle felt like water. There wasn’t strength to fight back. He didn’t want to fight. Just run. But Cayli corpse waited outside. Dead children and a smoking gun.

Then a free fall and a thump that drove his shoulder into his skull. The cry out echoed in the darkness. Maybe he’d died.

Muscles were slow to come back online. He was shaking when he sat up, gaze roaming wet through the growing light. A swipe of the hand cleared it away, if not the red from his vision.

He didn’t know where they were. He was just glad it wasn’t in the basement of a school. Nox was near, as surprised and confused as Jay felt.

But there wasn’t time to think about it. He pushed from one knee like a sprinter from the block. Arms wide, he tackled Nox. Pinned to the ground, fists landing blows on the man’s face. He’d seen that face underneath him before. Shirt gone and expression shocked and content. He wanted to be sick. What a fucking idiot he’d been.
“Why?!” he demanded. Not even sure what explanation he wanted.

[Nox]

The lights cleared and there was little time to react before the crowd’s cheer alerted Nox just a second before he was on his back in the dirty with Jay on top of him.

The fists to his face hurt but the betrayal looking down on him hurt worse. He’d fucked up a lot more than his own life. Two of the people he cared about and they both hated him.

Jay yelled why. And Nox didn’t know the answer ”Why fucking what?”. Nox said trying to block the blows the best he could. But he hesitated. The power flowed through him but he didn’t use it, could have but he wanted the pain. The horde demanded payment — it wanted blood. He’d give them blood.

Jay growled back at him. ”I thought we were fucking friends.”

Nox laughed. He relaxed his defenses in doing so but the blows continued to reign down. Nox closed his eyes and in between poundings wove a wall of air between him and Jay’s fists. ”Which is it? Fucking as in emphasis or just the fucking you wanted from me?”

Nox wove a second weave of air and use it to push him off him.

[Jay Carpenter]

So many faces. Nox. Placaso. Zacarías. Axel. Andres. They all flowed into one person. A long line of blood and hate that blurred into this moment. It ended with the ghost of himself. The worst one of them all. The who and what were gone. It was just faces. And his fist was on fire.

”Why fucking what?” Nox spat. Defense was barely there. And Jay had the upper hand.

”I thought we were fucking friends,” he spat on a snarl. Everything tight. The winding up coming from somewhere deeper than biceps and back.

But Nox’s answer didn’t make sense. ”Which is it? Fucking as in emphasis or just the fucking you wanted from me?”

He blinked. Didn’t realize he’d even said it that way until it was pointed out like that. So that’s what this was about? That's fine. Just fine.

The moment gave Nox what he needed. A pulse of Power. Too slow to conjure a defense. He gasped in surprise. The floor knocked the wind from him. The realization that the Power was in play was slow to sink. But when it did. It changed the game.

He rolled to one knee and threw a dense wad of it. Knotted tighter than rock. It hit the man square in the chest. Crushed him into the concrete wall. Cracks flared a sunburst around the impact.

Then he rushed again. “You’re right. I’ll fuck anything. That’s all I wanted,” he yelled and closed.

[Nox]

A powerful blow smashed him into the wall. The wind left his lungs. His head smashed hard and his ears rang. He felt blood trickle down his neck.

The words Jay said were a lie. Nox didn’t believe it was about sex at all. Their friendship had been about more. He had only moments to catch his breath Jay rushed his direction.

Nox moved out of the way shoved his power into the ground and made it tremble beneath their feet. The chairs above rattled but Nox kept it contained to the ten feet around him. They both stumbled a little as the ground shook.

”You’re a fucking liar. You could have fucking asked about the fucking promise. It’s all I fucking had to give. And I broke it. Now!” Nox growled. ”Now I fucked everything good up in my life.” Each word hurt as he shouted them above the blood rushing in his ears. His ears rang. This was going to go badly…

Nox wove a directional thunder bomb and clapped his hands together sending the thundering boom in Jay’s direction.

[Jay Carpenter]

He didn’t make it across the floor. It warped and rattled. It was all he could do to keep his balance. Falling on his ass wasn’t going to look so good. Nox at the epicenter. Power rolling off him like waves. Red trailed down his neck.

Speaking of not looking good.
“First blood, bitch,” he smirked glorious triumph. Wanting to hurt him just as much as he was crushed inside. But Nox was wrong. Jay was a brilliant liar. He’d been believing his own bullshit for years now.

“I guess that makes me the selfish asshole just using you for kicks and blood. So fuck your bullshit promise. If you ruined your life, it’s because you don’t fucking deserve it,” he blinked as soon as he said it. He didn’t mean that one. Not really. Or else, if he did, it was because he was talking to himself. Cayli, his parents, Axel. The kids. The torture. That was all Jay’s doing. One bullet in one evil nombre's head years later killed his entire family. He knew enough about Nox’s past to know that the shit happened to him. Not the other way around. He might have said it, but his gaze was pulled to what was invisible to everyone else. Then they flared wide.

He recognized the flows that built up. Nox had used something similar in the tunnels to blast back the creatures. He tried to conjure a defense, but Nox was too fast. A roar rushed his head like water and thunder. Pounding harder than if he stood beneath a raging Iowa storm. 

He threw his hands over his ears, fearing the ear drums had burst. But the pain wasn’t so bad. The cage spun. The fence and bars over head swirled and warped circles in the bars. The spinning was worse.

He ground his teeth, eyes scrunched closed until it faded enough for defiance to pull him to his feet. Expecting to be crushed any moment by the next blow. But nothing came. He looked up and found Nox watching. Defensive. The absent attack hurt more than the blood trickling out an ear lobe. At least one ear drum had a few extra holes in it.

“Fight me. Stop playing around,” he demanded and rose to his feet.

[Nox]

The words scathed as they echoed his own thoughts. The fight left him.

Nox threw his hands up in the air. A dome flooded over them made of 5 inch thick air separating the pit from the onlookers who watched with rapt attention and tied it off to release some time later that evening should he fall.

And then he let the power fall from his rage. The horde clawed as it fled, it wanted the power. Wanted the blood. But Nox denied it. Denied it everything as he stared Jay dead in the face. ”You’re right. You are abso-fucking-lutely right. I don’t deserve it.”

His hands still raised from the dome flair that only Jay could see he smiled. ”What’s the point of fighting anymore?”

[Jay Carpenter]

Breathing heavy. Ready for the return. He watched the shimmering dome grow. Covering them both. Expecting something to happen. But from it, nothing spun out. A shield? He thought Jay was wild and out of control. Going to hurt people. Shit. Jay didn’t realize there were so many people. He craned his neck upward. Turned in a slow circle. Blood lust clear from those watching.

It was the pull of the power sensing its own kind that tugged his attention away. Wanted to conquer it, dominate it. Nox basically threw the white flag. The dome taunted. Begged him to test its limits. But Jay simply shook his head. Nox didn’t even think he was worth fighting. He may as well have been dead to the other man. And if he wasn’t going to fight, Jay wasn’t going to attack a man unwilling to defend himself.

He assumed this was going to be the last time he saw Nox. At least. It was the last time he saw the friend he knew before. Covered in blood. Bruises. Another corpse. Another face to add to the list of those gone.

He turned and wove ropes of the power around the gate bars that they were dumb enough to think locked them in.  Wrenching it was as easy as flicking blood from his sleeve. He wanted to get the fuck out of there.

[Nox]

Jay didn’t attack instead, broke the gate down and fled. Nox closed his eyes and took a deep breath. He wanted to throw up.

He had to try to fix something…

Nox turned and once he was out of the arena he ran after Jay and shouted. ”I’m sorry I did it the way I did. I didn’t explain the shit I was going through. I was weak. It’s not your fault. I don’t want to want to fight you. I just love him. I have nothing to offer but my word. And I broke it. I said I’d be faithful. I promised. I tried to tell you but this fucking shit in my head. I’m broken, and I can’t fix it. I’m sorry for whatever it’s worth.”

Nox stopped at the beginning of the tunnel and closed his eyes. He broke everything he touched…

[Jay Carpenter]

He shook as he walked. Legs obedient on instinct. The rest of him moved in disbelief. Heart pounding with blind rage and crushing defeat. He was aware of shadows following along. They spoke. But he heard none of it. Nothing until his arm was grabbed. He wrenched it back, spinning to find it was Nox.

He just looked at the other man. But it was apparent no more punches were going to be thrown. Pleading rimmed his eyes already swelling from the fisting. Jay's knuckles burned still. Flecks of skin open across the round bone. But he didn’t wince. Just stared. Jaw tight. The shell emptied of feeling he couldn’t handle any more.

”I’m sorry I did it the way I did. I didn’t explain the shit I was going through. I was weak. It’s not your fault. I don’t want to want to fight you. I just love him. I have nothing to offer but my word. And I broke it. I said I’d be faithful. I promised. I tried to tell you but this fucking shit in my head. I’m broken, and I can’t fix it. I’m sorry for whatever it’s worth.”

Those nearest had stepped away. Wary that the fight would continue. Fear justified. It might have. One swing of the arm would have dropped Nox to the ground. The bell of victory rung. Or better yet, the cattle prod gave him an idea for a new weave. Fire to burn and spirit to spark. For all they knew, Jay might clamp his hands around the other man’s throat. And he saw the hopelessness in Nox’s gaze that he give it a try. End the suffering like it would have been mercy. He knew that demon well. They were basically roommates inside Jay's own skull.

He didn’t leave. But he didn’t say anything either. Not yet. He might have grabbed the man by the shoulder. Snaked a hand around his neck and buried their foreheads low and accepting together. As easy as dropping him unconscious. But he didn't move. Couldn't. Yielding to Nox's humanity was as good as forgiving himself. Not possible. There was too much shit. Too much darkness. Nox wasn’t the only one who was broken. Heat grew in his eyes. And it wasn't rage.

He scrubbed a hand through his hair, breaking the gaze for the first time. He couldn’t look at him when he said it.
“Goodbye, Nox,” he spoke quietly. Like a surrender. Then with clenched teeth and flexed jaw, he turned to leave a second time.