Target: Reggie Hill - London, England [dossier attached]
It hadn't been more than a few months since he started working at Kallisti. It hadn't even been a year since he'd been in Moscow. But he'd lived so much since then. Failed so many times. Lost the love of his life and now he was off to kill people like the true weapon that he was. His father would be proud -- except he wouldn't. He should be dead -- Jacob would have disappointed him. But he'd already done that. Jacob was the reason his father hated him. It was a revelation Nox had come to when Jacob popped back into his life. He was more than a grandfather to him. He'd always been family. But his father hated him because he was in love with his father. Noel Durante loved Jacob, and Jacob loved him. It wasn't something Nox had picked up growing up, but he did now. Maybe it was more clear or maybe Jacob didn't care anymore. Times had changed.
Now he was a handler. And nothing more. Jacob tried, but he hated channelers -- hated the godling that he was, no matter what Nox did or said it wouldn't change that.
Nox had been trying to accept what he was since Raffe said those fateful words. "I don't trust you." "Love shouldn't be that hard."
Fighting for what he loved that was worth it. But in the end it wasn't up to him. And he'd been trying to get past it, to fuel the horde. It was all meaningless and the night with Oriena had only cemented it in his mind. She'd changed a lot of things. He owed her, though he wouldn't admit it to anyone.
The sex with random girls had slowed to a dull roar, the horde's desires quelled with nights with Oriena, more fights, and more food. He even danced more at the club, usually just filling in for someone who got sick or whatever, nothing of his own, he didn't feel up to exposing himself to that. Not yet now with the wound gaping around him.
A few new realizations helped. The more blood, the better the horde was quelled. The fights hurt more on all sides. The meat while not up in quantity was rarer than before -- almost to the point Nox worried about blood borne disease -- but science was better than that these days -- he hoped.
The conversation with Carmen had been simple. She gave him the same look she always did. Said the same thing she always did. He was almost certain there was a note of concern in her voice, but Nox reassured her that the club was in capable hands and that his leaving was in the best interest of all parties. He didn't name names. He didn't need to.
It wasn't the only conversation he had before he left. He stopped by the Church to see Zeke. Talk to the twins before he left for god knew how long. Makenzie could care less. Morgan was sad. But Nox promised to bring home something cool. But it did little to endear him to Makenzie. Little would -- except maybe his death. She'd taken to his lessons well. Hated him even more if her attitude and punches were anything to garner it by, but it was fine. She'd learn. Or she'd die trying to kill him one day. He hoped it wasn't the latter.
Nox sent a message to his contact with the Ascendancy. It was simple.
Leaving Moscow on Atharim mission. Will debrief when I return. Plausible Deniability and all that.
Much like Carmen's response it was the expected simple and short answer.
So Received."
Jacob and Sage set up everything Nox needed for his travels. Sage improved his phone -- again. Nox's land warriors were updated with all of Sage's new toys and the software in his laptop updated too. Sage even inquired about the block he'd had on his phone but Nox gave him a cryptic answer. Jacob had a burner phone that was linked to Nox's now, and he'd send assignments along the way. First one was in London and a safe house location was provided -- No Atharim would be there during the mission -- at least that was the plan.
Only thing Nox had left to do was leave. He was stalling. He wanted to see Raffe one last time, but he didn't as well. It was hard enough as it was. He truly loved him, but he needed to get away -- away from him. Away from his life -- return to the man he was born to be. Find himself. That was why they broke up after all.
Nox sat at his desk, the room completely barren of his belongings, everything was either packed in his back pack or he'd moved it to storage. Kallisti was no longer home -- it hadn't been home for a few weeks now. Now it was just becoming official. They were family -- he'd be back. But he'd not live here again -- this was it. A final good-bye.
He stared at the note he'd written in his neat hand. Aurora had always poked fun at him for his girly hand writing. Seemed parts of his brain always said hey I'm gay even when he was actively trying to forget it.
Nox sighed as reread the note:
Nox scratched out a bit as a single tear fell next to his name and he brushed it away, but the x was already bleeding into the tear leaving a darkened stained. "Fuck!"
He could rewrite it, but he had a train to catch. And he still had to walk there. He folded it and picked up the tattered grey hoodie that was neatly folded next to Lily and her water bowl. He put the bowl on top of his hoodie with the note neatly propped against it and knocked on Raffe's door then walked down the stairs.
He didn't look back. Didn't want to see what happened as he rushed out the door -- rushed to get on with his life if he couldn't get over Raffe.
It hadn't been more than a few months since he started working at Kallisti. It hadn't even been a year since he'd been in Moscow. But he'd lived so much since then. Failed so many times. Lost the love of his life and now he was off to kill people like the true weapon that he was. His father would be proud -- except he wouldn't. He should be dead -- Jacob would have disappointed him. But he'd already done that. Jacob was the reason his father hated him. It was a revelation Nox had come to when Jacob popped back into his life. He was more than a grandfather to him. He'd always been family. But his father hated him because he was in love with his father. Noel Durante loved Jacob, and Jacob loved him. It wasn't something Nox had picked up growing up, but he did now. Maybe it was more clear or maybe Jacob didn't care anymore. Times had changed.
Now he was a handler. And nothing more. Jacob tried, but he hated channelers -- hated the godling that he was, no matter what Nox did or said it wouldn't change that.
Nox had been trying to accept what he was since Raffe said those fateful words. "I don't trust you." "Love shouldn't be that hard."
Fighting for what he loved that was worth it. But in the end it wasn't up to him. And he'd been trying to get past it, to fuel the horde. It was all meaningless and the night with Oriena had only cemented it in his mind. She'd changed a lot of things. He owed her, though he wouldn't admit it to anyone.
The sex with random girls had slowed to a dull roar, the horde's desires quelled with nights with Oriena, more fights, and more food. He even danced more at the club, usually just filling in for someone who got sick or whatever, nothing of his own, he didn't feel up to exposing himself to that. Not yet now with the wound gaping around him.
A few new realizations helped. The more blood, the better the horde was quelled. The fights hurt more on all sides. The meat while not up in quantity was rarer than before -- almost to the point Nox worried about blood borne disease -- but science was better than that these days -- he hoped.
The conversation with Carmen had been simple. She gave him the same look she always did. Said the same thing she always did. He was almost certain there was a note of concern in her voice, but Nox reassured her that the club was in capable hands and that his leaving was in the best interest of all parties. He didn't name names. He didn't need to.
It wasn't the only conversation he had before he left. He stopped by the Church to see Zeke. Talk to the twins before he left for god knew how long. Makenzie could care less. Morgan was sad. But Nox promised to bring home something cool. But it did little to endear him to Makenzie. Little would -- except maybe his death. She'd taken to his lessons well. Hated him even more if her attitude and punches were anything to garner it by, but it was fine. She'd learn. Or she'd die trying to kill him one day. He hoped it wasn't the latter.
Nox sent a message to his contact with the Ascendancy. It was simple.
Leaving Moscow on Atharim mission. Will debrief when I return. Plausible Deniability and all that.
Much like Carmen's response it was the expected simple and short answer.
So Received."
Jacob and Sage set up everything Nox needed for his travels. Sage improved his phone -- again. Nox's land warriors were updated with all of Sage's new toys and the software in his laptop updated too. Sage even inquired about the block he'd had on his phone but Nox gave him a cryptic answer. Jacob had a burner phone that was linked to Nox's now, and he'd send assignments along the way. First one was in London and a safe house location was provided -- No Atharim would be there during the mission -- at least that was the plan.
Only thing Nox had left to do was leave. He was stalling. He wanted to see Raffe one last time, but he didn't as well. It was hard enough as it was. He truly loved him, but he needed to get away -- away from him. Away from his life -- return to the man he was born to be. Find himself. That was why they broke up after all.
Nox sat at his desk, the room completely barren of his belongings, everything was either packed in his back pack or he'd moved it to storage. Kallisti was no longer home -- it hadn't been home for a few weeks now. Now it was just becoming official. They were family -- he'd be back. But he'd not live here again -- this was it. A final good-bye.
He stared at the note he'd written in his neat hand. Aurora had always poked fun at him for his girly hand writing. Seemed parts of his brain always said hey I'm gay even when he was actively trying to forget it.
Nox sighed as reread the note:
Quote:My friend, I need to ask another favor of you. I'm going hunting for the Atharim. I don't know when I'll be back, but I will be back. I need you to take care of Lily for me. The road is no place for a water plant.
I'm leaving my favorite hoodie in your care as well -- proof of concept, a promise you'd believe -- Barring death, I will be back for it -- last thing my mother gave me and all.
I want the best for you -- have a great life.
[[A small hesitation of a mark that could be accidental but was the start of the letter L]] Forever & Always, Nox
Nox scratched out a bit as a single tear fell next to his name and he brushed it away, but the x was already bleeding into the tear leaving a darkened stained. "Fuck!"
He could rewrite it, but he had a train to catch. And he still had to walk there. He folded it and picked up the tattered grey hoodie that was neatly folded next to Lily and her water bowl. He put the bowl on top of his hoodie with the note neatly propped against it and knocked on Raffe's door then walked down the stairs.
He didn't look back. Didn't want to see what happened as he rushed out the door -- rushed to get on with his life if he couldn't get over Raffe.
![[Image: nox_sig.gif]](http://thefirstage.org/wp-content/uploads/2023/08/nox_sig.gif)