01-21-2015, 03:29 PM
The struggle happened again, the guitar in his hand rapidly flickering into whiskey and back again as he tried to fight the urge. He felt Snow nuzzle his hand. Then he heard Sierra's voice, telling him to stay. It was time to work things out.
Snow was still beneath his hand when he stopped, and the bottle and guitar were still flickering in the other. As he turned the guitar solidified. Snow followed him back and lay down next to Sierra, putting his head in her lap. Calvin knelt down and placed the guitar on the ground, the neck over his legs.
He had no idea where to start or what to say as he knelt down. All he knew was that he hoped they could still be friends and that she would forgive him. He felt like she should know everything - at least that she deserved to know everything. "I kind of want to share everything - if that is okay?"
Sierra nodded and Calvin continued. "The night we last saw each other, something happened to me - something broke. It wasn't just from that night."
Calvin then explained everything. He told her of his parents - how his mom had died of cancer and his father committed suicide. For the first time, he told Sierra that he had had a wife and son and they had been killed by a drunk driver. He left nothing out - telling her how he blamed himself for all of it, and how he turned to drinking, sex, and fighting so he didn't have to feel the pain anymore. He explained how when he was sober, he released the wolf and became a vigilante. Calvin told her about Jensen and how he kept him from drinking that night. Finally he told her about the nightmare and Dawn Wind's death.
"After that, I sought help. I've been seeing a counselor and attending Alcoholics Anonymous meetings. I've not had alcohol in three weeks."
He raised the guitar. "This is my shield against that. I've been spending time learning how to control the wolf too. Mostly, things have improved. It's a struggle, but everyday is a victory."
He sighed. "I want you to know that none of this is your fault. I mishandled a lot of things, and I need to take responsibility for that. I told you all of that because I think you should know before I ask this. I've missed you and am sorry for the pain I've caused you. I can't take back that night, and know I do not deserve this. I hope you can forgive me. God knows I don't deserve it."
He didn't know what would happen, but he was ready to accept it.
Snow was still beneath his hand when he stopped, and the bottle and guitar were still flickering in the other. As he turned the guitar solidified. Snow followed him back and lay down next to Sierra, putting his head in her lap. Calvin knelt down and placed the guitar on the ground, the neck over his legs.
He had no idea where to start or what to say as he knelt down. All he knew was that he hoped they could still be friends and that she would forgive him. He felt like she should know everything - at least that she deserved to know everything. "I kind of want to share everything - if that is okay?"
Sierra nodded and Calvin continued. "The night we last saw each other, something happened to me - something broke. It wasn't just from that night."
Calvin then explained everything. He told her of his parents - how his mom had died of cancer and his father committed suicide. For the first time, he told Sierra that he had had a wife and son and they had been killed by a drunk driver. He left nothing out - telling her how he blamed himself for all of it, and how he turned to drinking, sex, and fighting so he didn't have to feel the pain anymore. He explained how when he was sober, he released the wolf and became a vigilante. Calvin told her about Jensen and how he kept him from drinking that night. Finally he told her about the nightmare and Dawn Wind's death.
"After that, I sought help. I've been seeing a counselor and attending Alcoholics Anonymous meetings. I've not had alcohol in three weeks."
He raised the guitar. "This is my shield against that. I've been spending time learning how to control the wolf too. Mostly, things have improved. It's a struggle, but everyday is a victory."
He sighed. "I want you to know that none of this is your fault. I mishandled a lot of things, and I need to take responsibility for that. I told you all of that because I think you should know before I ask this. I've missed you and am sorry for the pain I've caused you. I can't take back that night, and know I do not deserve this. I hope you can forgive me. God knows I don't deserve it."
He didn't know what would happen, but he was ready to accept it.