08-28-2018, 05:52 PM
She stood from Cayli's bedside once Jay returned, seeking some place beyond his dad's scrutiny and his mum's avoidance. Her presence felt like trespass; she only stayed as long as she did because of Jay's flashed look before he took off, but she weathered the discomfort only as long as she had to. She declined the soda. Whatever had transpired with the doctor, Jay asked odd questions. Her brows tipped downwards, but there wouldn't be any ready answers while his parents were around. In any case, the immediate danger seemed to have passed, and he was here now. She took the opportunity to escape gratefully.
The air breathed cooler out in the corridor.
Cayli's questions ruptured old wounds. It was Natalie's own fault, of course; she didn't have to answer any of them. Exhaustion and emotion were a poor mix, the balance of self-control harder to win. She might have helped save Cayli's life, but it only called to question the failures trailing behind. Kofi's bleeding skull. Azu's calm smile as they pulled away from the refinery. He'd believed wholeheartedly in the sorts of miracles Jensen spoke so earnestly of. The two would have gotten along well.
But God still hadn't saved him.
She asked directions to the nearest bathroom. The fluorescent tube lights above burned her eyes, though she didn't need to glance in the mirror to know she looked like crap. She ran the water until it iced under her fingertips. Her mother's anguished sobbing was like a knot in her chest, but those burning threads of family were too hot to touch and she didn't want to follow where they led. Eleanor had sounded fine during the second call. Natalie was a shitty daughter, that wasn't exactly news.
Stop thinking about it.
It wouldn't normally bother her so much, but fatigue ripped holes in her usual composure; gave room for all those jagged edges to split through, and if she was going to have to wade through that wreckage, light knew she'd rather do it alone. There had to be a motel or something around here; somewhere she could try and sleep it off while Jay caught up with his family. After twenty odd hours travelling packed tight with strangers, some privacy sounded like luxury just then.
She splashed cold water on her face, ran a palm over the back of her neck. It was shallow aid, but she only needed as much to fortify a mask. Everything else didn't matter much. She finally met the pale gaze of her reflection, loosened her hair and retied it back. Buying time until she felt okay. A shower. Some sleep, hopefully unbroken, and then she would be fine. Even skin-deep strength appeared like strength to everyone else, and that would suffice for now.
Two men shouldered their way past on her return. "Assholes," she muttered, a sharp glower spiked up at them, acknowledged by neither. Her mood was brittle, easily inflamed by petty nuisances, but it was soon forgotten.
She stepped back into a whirlwind of urgency.
Natalie knew what they must be thinking. That Jay jumped at ghosts. That the paranoia of war poisoned his brain; made him see enemies where there were none. She flashed a helpless look at Jensen, unsure what had triggered the sudden panic. For as composed as Jay was, it was a military composure. Something had spooked him enough that he needed his family out of the hospital. Now. Yet five minutes ago she'd never seen him smile brighter.
What the hell had happened?
By the time he ordered them into the SUV, his family's truck hastily abandoned, she was moments from digging her heels in; demanding the answers the others had to be wondering themselves. Or his mother and father at least; Cayli just seemed excited to leave, the nuances either lost or ignored. Jensen already expressed his concern. Jay hardly sounded sane. And Natalie's patience ran against razor wire; she hated the loss of control.
Only trust prevented her from sheer stubbornness. But she did catch hold of his arm in the parking lot. Her stare pinned him hard, you need to explain bitten out in harsh whisper before she released him. Fatigue washed her expression transparent; the concern was palpable. An unintended touch of fear ghosted before she blinked away. The last time he fell prey to this kind of blind instinct, he'd confessed to murder and offered himself up as a sacrifice.
Her jaw hardened as she slipped into the shadows of the car. Her hear beat hard, even if she didn't know why.
The air breathed cooler out in the corridor.
Cayli's questions ruptured old wounds. It was Natalie's own fault, of course; she didn't have to answer any of them. Exhaustion and emotion were a poor mix, the balance of self-control harder to win. She might have helped save Cayli's life, but it only called to question the failures trailing behind. Kofi's bleeding skull. Azu's calm smile as they pulled away from the refinery. He'd believed wholeheartedly in the sorts of miracles Jensen spoke so earnestly of. The two would have gotten along well.
But God still hadn't saved him.
She asked directions to the nearest bathroom. The fluorescent tube lights above burned her eyes, though she didn't need to glance in the mirror to know she looked like crap. She ran the water until it iced under her fingertips. Her mother's anguished sobbing was like a knot in her chest, but those burning threads of family were too hot to touch and she didn't want to follow where they led. Eleanor had sounded fine during the second call. Natalie was a shitty daughter, that wasn't exactly news.
Stop thinking about it.
It wouldn't normally bother her so much, but fatigue ripped holes in her usual composure; gave room for all those jagged edges to split through, and if she was going to have to wade through that wreckage, light knew she'd rather do it alone. There had to be a motel or something around here; somewhere she could try and sleep it off while Jay caught up with his family. After twenty odd hours travelling packed tight with strangers, some privacy sounded like luxury just then.
She splashed cold water on her face, ran a palm over the back of her neck. It was shallow aid, but she only needed as much to fortify a mask. Everything else didn't matter much. She finally met the pale gaze of her reflection, loosened her hair and retied it back. Buying time until she felt okay. A shower. Some sleep, hopefully unbroken, and then she would be fine. Even skin-deep strength appeared like strength to everyone else, and that would suffice for now.
Two men shouldered their way past on her return. "Assholes," she muttered, a sharp glower spiked up at them, acknowledged by neither. Her mood was brittle, easily inflamed by petty nuisances, but it was soon forgotten.
She stepped back into a whirlwind of urgency.
Natalie knew what they must be thinking. That Jay jumped at ghosts. That the paranoia of war poisoned his brain; made him see enemies where there were none. She flashed a helpless look at Jensen, unsure what had triggered the sudden panic. For as composed as Jay was, it was a military composure. Something had spooked him enough that he needed his family out of the hospital. Now. Yet five minutes ago she'd never seen him smile brighter.
What the hell had happened?
By the time he ordered them into the SUV, his family's truck hastily abandoned, she was moments from digging her heels in; demanding the answers the others had to be wondering themselves. Or his mother and father at least; Cayli just seemed excited to leave, the nuances either lost or ignored. Jensen already expressed his concern. Jay hardly sounded sane. And Natalie's patience ran against razor wire; she hated the loss of control.
Only trust prevented her from sheer stubbornness. But she did catch hold of his arm in the parking lot. Her stare pinned him hard, you need to explain bitten out in harsh whisper before she released him. Fatigue washed her expression transparent; the concern was palpable. An unintended touch of fear ghosted before she blinked away. The last time he fell prey to this kind of blind instinct, he'd confessed to murder and offered himself up as a sacrifice.
Her jaw hardened as she slipped into the shadows of the car. Her hear beat hard, even if she didn't know why.