08-11-2019, 05:11 PM
Silence reigned. Emotion drowned somewhere deep as she waited with the body, refusing to acknowledge the soft fluttering of kinder memory. Of Cay’s triumphant grin when she mastered a twist of the power, or of the gleaming mischief in her gaze before a sly quip. Heavy footsteps marked a return that did not quite capture Natalie’s attention away from those ghosts. This time when she watched Jay the brush of her gaze was superficial, skimming against the dark churning depths to tally the remains of his wounds. Fury was easier to nurture than grief, and the evidence of his torture kindled it. Enough to haul herself to her feet to follow the sombre parade back to the car.
Once there she lingered back, arms folded, struck by a sense of rootlessness that felt like an old and familiar shadow. She did not watch Cayli’s gentle transference to the car, nor listened to the quiet words that followed, like the sorrow was a contagion she wanted no part in -- or deserved no part in. Her soul sought no comfort from the chains of guilt cast about her own shoulders. She could have prevented this. She should have prevented this. Cayli should never have even been here.
A few steps retreated from the scene as the failure began to strangle, but if she felt that weakness she was not apt to show it. Her chest ached fierce from the smoke, threatening the iron of her composure like a dam ready to burst, at least until she buried it deep with a promise. She had walked away from Pavlo without regret, needing no retribution despite the scars he left. But not from this. Her burning eyes blinked. No tears fell. Her face was still.
When she turned she did not expect to discover the weight of Jay’s gaze seeking hers. There was no anchor she could offer for that storm, and she’d never sought to tame the darkness of him. Gunshots still echoed in her head, a sin she did not even try to measure. Truthfully she anticipated blame, and met the look unflinching of whatever judgement awaited despite the twist in her stomach. She’d risked everything to find him, and lost the thing most precious to him in the process. But no accusation followed, just a ragged battlefield of a question in those haunted eyes. It seemed he gave her that choice eternally, like he would always expect her to falter on the path behind. Kinder times might have seen her roll her eyes at the frailty of his trust in her, but no levity lightened her expression, nor uncertainty. They would find Amengual.
Once there she lingered back, arms folded, struck by a sense of rootlessness that felt like an old and familiar shadow. She did not watch Cayli’s gentle transference to the car, nor listened to the quiet words that followed, like the sorrow was a contagion she wanted no part in -- or deserved no part in. Her soul sought no comfort from the chains of guilt cast about her own shoulders. She could have prevented this. She should have prevented this. Cayli should never have even been here.
A few steps retreated from the scene as the failure began to strangle, but if she felt that weakness she was not apt to show it. Her chest ached fierce from the smoke, threatening the iron of her composure like a dam ready to burst, at least until she buried it deep with a promise. She had walked away from Pavlo without regret, needing no retribution despite the scars he left. But not from this. Her burning eyes blinked. No tears fell. Her face was still.
When she turned she did not expect to discover the weight of Jay’s gaze seeking hers. There was no anchor she could offer for that storm, and she’d never sought to tame the darkness of him. Gunshots still echoed in her head, a sin she did not even try to measure. Truthfully she anticipated blame, and met the look unflinching of whatever judgement awaited despite the twist in her stomach. She’d risked everything to find him, and lost the thing most precious to him in the process. But no accusation followed, just a ragged battlefield of a question in those haunted eyes. It seemed he gave her that choice eternally, like he would always expect her to falter on the path behind. Kinder times might have seen her roll her eyes at the frailty of his trust in her, but no levity lightened her expression, nor uncertainty. They would find Amengual.