06-07-2020, 04:27 PM
Natalie was quiet when Jay got back in the car, and did not question what might have transpired inside when he passed her the laptop, she only opened it up and waited for the dark screen to boot as they began the journey out of the city. Something to finally focus on drew her silent, though only that born of concentration as she began a systematic comb through the hard drive. Mercifully it dulled even the steady throb of pain in her shoulder. She glanced aside from the work only when he spoke.
Jay said it blithely, but Natalie felt no horror despite the way the words sank like a stone. The women of Jasiri had spoken about similar things on the kind of restless nights old pains stung anew, leaving unsettled ghosts to roam in their wake. Of course, for them it wasn’t the morbid confession of truths shared in down time, it was planning for self-preservation. The only sense of control to be wrestled from a world in which they’d so often had none -- the simple resolution to snatch themselves from the jaws of something worse should such a predator ever come circling back for them. She thought of the mother in Zacarías’s story, eyes briefly closed as her stomach turned cold. Then of Imani begging such a promise should things go wrong, and it had, but thankfully not like that. She didn’t know if she could have done it.
“How very cheerful,” she said, though there was a small smirk on her lips that suggested she was not remotely disturbed. “Tell me yours, I’ll tell you mine?” A coy brow rose. It was difficult to discern how much of that might only be a joke by the pale look she shot him, especially since it warmed to something more teasingly sultry a moment later. “Though I can probably think of a better use for down time. Rather more living involved in that suggestion, of course.” He didn’t always rise to her careless challenges, and she was not sure he would answer when it cut so sharply against bone. I only lie to myself, Natalie -- words she heard often enough. It didn’t stop her asking. She was not a brother-in-arms, churning bloody waters in the trenches alongside, and nor did she want to be that to him. But neither was she likely to recoil from the truth -- or shield him from the starkness of her own. Rather, she acknowledged it eye to eye, that path he strode, and sometimes dared him to look back and realise he did not always have to walk it alone.
Her attention diverted back to the screen, if her thoughts still wandered the lonely landscape of the past he conjured. “Axel told us we didn’t know what you were, when Jensen asked for his help. That we didn’t know what you could survive.” She knew some of Jay’s history through glimpses he only rarely offered out, but of its worst she’d seen only in the black and white of the documents her father had provided. Recent days shared harder insights, but little in the way of judgement. Or at least not any that did not also cast her under its self-same shadow. Natalie did not pull the trigger, but neither did she press the muzzle of the gun down. “He resented you, I think. Or maybe that you had people who cared to find you. But you were right about the trust.”
Hindsight offered the hazy outline of a different man to the one she saw in the James’ kitchen, if considering it now only served to pull on a thread of tragedy better left alone. Axel had walked a road more closely paralleled to Jay’s than she cared to acknowledge given the bullet that left him in the dirt. He’d knowingly let Cayli in the boot of the car, and for that alone Natalie hadn’t liked him -- it was such a careless betrayal, though one she suspected now to have been a swipe of petty retribution rather than true intent. But when she asked for his help he gave it without much resistance. She hadn’t been blind to the way it was Jensen’s kindness that had reached him, if she was wary now of considering too deeply why that was. She’d doubted the preacher’s capability at the time, but she’d been wrong.
“He wanted out. That’s what he asked me for, right before we left. But I don’t think it would have made him happy.” It wasn’t consolation, just truth. Maybe she had no right to the judgement. It wasn’t like she had known the man. Whatever Axel had sought though, a fat bank balance and a new name might have been salve on the wound, but they were no answer. Home wasn’t a physical place. Natalie had turned away from such bastions time and enough to begin to understand that, finally. Truth was she orchestrated her own self-sabotage as often as fate conspired to unroot her when she found the brief flame of belonging, like she always had to test the theory. The desire for it, though; that she understood.
Which was why when she sometimes wove the sanctuary of peace around them both like the promise of some intangible future, it was as an oasis, not a destination. Brief shelter for when the storms blew through strong enough to flay weaker souls. And maybe that was the difference. She glanced at Jay quietly, but then the laptop began to spit up grainy images with time stamps in their corners. A secluded mansion shrouded in shadow and leafy jungle, expensive cars lined up outside. Heavily fortified, even to her untrained eye, and it twisted in her chest like fear despite not exactly being unexpected. Jay would need to look at that, though not while driving.
“There are security cameras on here,” she said, offering a brief description of what she saw. Then a tap brought up one of the live feeds, and she watched silently as an SUV suddenly rumbled into view outside the front. Shrouded figures bundled out, and were herded quickly into the house with the butts of guns. Efficient but not cruel. It was the face that appeared a moment after that drew her attention, though, and a sinking feeling with it. She’d warned Jay they needed to at least be aware of the political considerations of their actions; his justice was bedded in the corner of a far larger stage, and they did not have a clear view of it beyond Natalie’s own conjecture. But she hadn’t expected to see this particular face slink out of the property only to quickly return to its depths; that of a friendly benefactor she had all but forgotten.
“Shit.”
A hand pressed back through her hair. Pale gold waterfalled back round her cheeks, and when her gaze rose this time it had that eerie quality of blankness once more. “Jay, there’s a Custody man at the Amengual’s property. A man called Scion Marveet. He cornered me at the fundraiser, not that I knew who he was at the time. Offered me some friendly advice.” Her mind cast back, surprised. Though recent memory unearthed an identity at the same time she had dug for Amengual’s, it had been for her own benefit; knowledge for another time, not because she foresaw connections. She did not recall ever seeing the two together, and she did not like the cold and uncertain feeling flooding her insides to ice. Unknown variables like this were unwelcome. She’d thought she’d known all the players involved.
“He thinks you’re a threat to Nikolai Brandon, Jay. That was the advice, and he means to use the accusation to elevate himself. Or he did back when he spoke to me.” She'd cautioned Jay of such pariahs at the time, but he’d dismissed the concern; as he was likely to now, she imagined. He’d already paraded the names of those waiting to exact their pound of flesh, so what was one more? This time, though, Natalie would not let it lie. Gut feeling gnawed. Too much was missing, and she hated being caught out like this. She would not carelessly march Jay towards a grave.
“Given everything we think we know, he might be here for any number of reasons. But we should consider that one of them might be you. Brandon threatened repercussions for my family if I did not return you." Not so plainly as that, of course, but the implication had been clear enough. These facts were the last thing she’d wanted to muddy the waters with, but it seemed the long line of their problems were not going to wait in a patient single file. Her voice lowered, but her jaw remained tight. “I had an official communication from DVII's office this morning. I didn't read it. But it means our absence has been noted, and my grandfather cannot risk the accusation of disloyalty. Particularly if it concerns me. He will have acted." Precisely why she had refused to lean on her Northbrook name to speed their passage across the border (and thus flag their location), and why she had warned they could no longer rely on her access to funds. Not concerns she had wanted to draw his attention to, in part because they only concerned her, and in part because she’d believed they could wait.
Her chin lifted from the images, and she watched Jay’s profile now. Behind that still mask, her thoughts were suddenly blazing in an effort to pull all the disparate pieces into their possible places. The footage ran over again in her mind, tightening her chest. She would not be snared by assumption; they did not know why Marveet was in Mexico. But at the very least they needed to account for their trajectory to be expected, and the possibility of a nasty welcome in place. The Custody had its own supply of serum; she knew that from Marcus and her skim of Weston’s research. Light. Her thoughts unravelled to worse considerations as her mind worked, but she shielded him from the worst of them. Though perhaps he knew her well enough by now to realise the blank slate of her hid something.
"You need to look at the fortifications on this place. They mean nothing to me. Can we stop somewhere? Else you need to pull over and let me drive."
Jay said it blithely, but Natalie felt no horror despite the way the words sank like a stone. The women of Jasiri had spoken about similar things on the kind of restless nights old pains stung anew, leaving unsettled ghosts to roam in their wake. Of course, for them it wasn’t the morbid confession of truths shared in down time, it was planning for self-preservation. The only sense of control to be wrestled from a world in which they’d so often had none -- the simple resolution to snatch themselves from the jaws of something worse should such a predator ever come circling back for them. She thought of the mother in Zacarías’s story, eyes briefly closed as her stomach turned cold. Then of Imani begging such a promise should things go wrong, and it had, but thankfully not like that. She didn’t know if she could have done it.
“How very cheerful,” she said, though there was a small smirk on her lips that suggested she was not remotely disturbed. “Tell me yours, I’ll tell you mine?” A coy brow rose. It was difficult to discern how much of that might only be a joke by the pale look she shot him, especially since it warmed to something more teasingly sultry a moment later. “Though I can probably think of a better use for down time. Rather more living involved in that suggestion, of course.” He didn’t always rise to her careless challenges, and she was not sure he would answer when it cut so sharply against bone. I only lie to myself, Natalie -- words she heard often enough. It didn’t stop her asking. She was not a brother-in-arms, churning bloody waters in the trenches alongside, and nor did she want to be that to him. But neither was she likely to recoil from the truth -- or shield him from the starkness of her own. Rather, she acknowledged it eye to eye, that path he strode, and sometimes dared him to look back and realise he did not always have to walk it alone.
Her attention diverted back to the screen, if her thoughts still wandered the lonely landscape of the past he conjured. “Axel told us we didn’t know what you were, when Jensen asked for his help. That we didn’t know what you could survive.” She knew some of Jay’s history through glimpses he only rarely offered out, but of its worst she’d seen only in the black and white of the documents her father had provided. Recent days shared harder insights, but little in the way of judgement. Or at least not any that did not also cast her under its self-same shadow. Natalie did not pull the trigger, but neither did she press the muzzle of the gun down. “He resented you, I think. Or maybe that you had people who cared to find you. But you were right about the trust.”
Hindsight offered the hazy outline of a different man to the one she saw in the James’ kitchen, if considering it now only served to pull on a thread of tragedy better left alone. Axel had walked a road more closely paralleled to Jay’s than she cared to acknowledge given the bullet that left him in the dirt. He’d knowingly let Cayli in the boot of the car, and for that alone Natalie hadn’t liked him -- it was such a careless betrayal, though one she suspected now to have been a swipe of petty retribution rather than true intent. But when she asked for his help he gave it without much resistance. She hadn’t been blind to the way it was Jensen’s kindness that had reached him, if she was wary now of considering too deeply why that was. She’d doubted the preacher’s capability at the time, but she’d been wrong.
“He wanted out. That’s what he asked me for, right before we left. But I don’t think it would have made him happy.” It wasn’t consolation, just truth. Maybe she had no right to the judgement. It wasn’t like she had known the man. Whatever Axel had sought though, a fat bank balance and a new name might have been salve on the wound, but they were no answer. Home wasn’t a physical place. Natalie had turned away from such bastions time and enough to begin to understand that, finally. Truth was she orchestrated her own self-sabotage as often as fate conspired to unroot her when she found the brief flame of belonging, like she always had to test the theory. The desire for it, though; that she understood.
Which was why when she sometimes wove the sanctuary of peace around them both like the promise of some intangible future, it was as an oasis, not a destination. Brief shelter for when the storms blew through strong enough to flay weaker souls. And maybe that was the difference. She glanced at Jay quietly, but then the laptop began to spit up grainy images with time stamps in their corners. A secluded mansion shrouded in shadow and leafy jungle, expensive cars lined up outside. Heavily fortified, even to her untrained eye, and it twisted in her chest like fear despite not exactly being unexpected. Jay would need to look at that, though not while driving.
“There are security cameras on here,” she said, offering a brief description of what she saw. Then a tap brought up one of the live feeds, and she watched silently as an SUV suddenly rumbled into view outside the front. Shrouded figures bundled out, and were herded quickly into the house with the butts of guns. Efficient but not cruel. It was the face that appeared a moment after that drew her attention, though, and a sinking feeling with it. She’d warned Jay they needed to at least be aware of the political considerations of their actions; his justice was bedded in the corner of a far larger stage, and they did not have a clear view of it beyond Natalie’s own conjecture. But she hadn’t expected to see this particular face slink out of the property only to quickly return to its depths; that of a friendly benefactor she had all but forgotten.
“Shit.”
A hand pressed back through her hair. Pale gold waterfalled back round her cheeks, and when her gaze rose this time it had that eerie quality of blankness once more. “Jay, there’s a Custody man at the Amengual’s property. A man called Scion Marveet. He cornered me at the fundraiser, not that I knew who he was at the time. Offered me some friendly advice.” Her mind cast back, surprised. Though recent memory unearthed an identity at the same time she had dug for Amengual’s, it had been for her own benefit; knowledge for another time, not because she foresaw connections. She did not recall ever seeing the two together, and she did not like the cold and uncertain feeling flooding her insides to ice. Unknown variables like this were unwelcome. She’d thought she’d known all the players involved.
“He thinks you’re a threat to Nikolai Brandon, Jay. That was the advice, and he means to use the accusation to elevate himself. Or he did back when he spoke to me.” She'd cautioned Jay of such pariahs at the time, but he’d dismissed the concern; as he was likely to now, she imagined. He’d already paraded the names of those waiting to exact their pound of flesh, so what was one more? This time, though, Natalie would not let it lie. Gut feeling gnawed. Too much was missing, and she hated being caught out like this. She would not carelessly march Jay towards a grave.
“Given everything we think we know, he might be here for any number of reasons. But we should consider that one of them might be you. Brandon threatened repercussions for my family if I did not return you." Not so plainly as that, of course, but the implication had been clear enough. These facts were the last thing she’d wanted to muddy the waters with, but it seemed the long line of their problems were not going to wait in a patient single file. Her voice lowered, but her jaw remained tight. “I had an official communication from DVII's office this morning. I didn't read it. But it means our absence has been noted, and my grandfather cannot risk the accusation of disloyalty. Particularly if it concerns me. He will have acted." Precisely why she had refused to lean on her Northbrook name to speed their passage across the border (and thus flag their location), and why she had warned they could no longer rely on her access to funds. Not concerns she had wanted to draw his attention to, in part because they only concerned her, and in part because she’d believed they could wait.
Her chin lifted from the images, and she watched Jay’s profile now. Behind that still mask, her thoughts were suddenly blazing in an effort to pull all the disparate pieces into their possible places. The footage ran over again in her mind, tightening her chest. She would not be snared by assumption; they did not know why Marveet was in Mexico. But at the very least they needed to account for their trajectory to be expected, and the possibility of a nasty welcome in place. The Custody had its own supply of serum; she knew that from Marcus and her skim of Weston’s research. Light. Her thoughts unravelled to worse considerations as her mind worked, but she shielded him from the worst of them. Though perhaps he knew her well enough by now to realise the blank slate of her hid something.
"You need to look at the fortifications on this place. They mean nothing to me. Can we stop somewhere? Else you need to pull over and let me drive."