10-31-2020, 10:17 PM
Knowing Nox, he figured the story would be a long one. Raffe was quiet for the duration, though the sight of tears cleaved right down the middle of his chest, until all he could feel was the beating of his own heart. Instinct urged the desire to wipe them free with the pads of his thumbs, but he wanted Nox to get it all out without distraction. Pain pinched his expression instead as he listened, a kaleidoscope of feeling for the shittiness of Nox’s childhood, but he did not move. Whatever else Raffe’s own childhood had been, he’d never felt he couldn’t be himself. Never had to hide in that way.
At the last half-hearted joke he finally shifted closer. Dark hair fanned through his fingers as he pressed a kiss to Nox’s forehead, then rested his own head close. One hand dipped to cup Nox’s jaw, thumb lightly trailing the path the tears had taken. “You’re not too much, Nox.” The words were soft, affectionately earnest, but solemn too. Because whatever else might pass between them, and whatever else the future might hold, he never wanted Nox to think that.
He let the moment sit for a while before he leaned back. Though he didn’t go far, just rested his own elbows onto his thighs, let his arms hang, fingers brushing Nox’s.
He’d already known about the betrayal, and it still didn’t sit well whatever the circumstances, but he wouldn’t ask about it. He understood, even if it had been a shit thing to do to his girlfriend at the time. Everyone made mistakes, and everyone had a past. Sometimes it wasn’t a proud one.
“It sounds like he knows about the hand, but does he know about the rest? Because if he doesn’t then maybe you need to tell him.” If they’d fought monsters together at the concert, and Jay was a soldier to boot, he wouldn’t baulk at the supernatural infection the bite had caused. Raffe would like to think a friend wouldn’t then allow Nox to hurt himself like that -- and he realised that it would tear Nox apart too, that loss of control against will. But he didn’t know the other guy. The doubt wasn’t pleasant.
The somewhat ironic truth was that Raffe didn’t even usually expect fidelity in casual relationships. But whatever he had told himself, even in the very beginning, he wasn’t sure this had ever been casual to him. Even when Nox’s own words had been the warning in his mind, Raffe knew the way his heart set roots. But he was also careful not to hold too tightly for the same reason. The air blew out his lungs with the pressure, and he rubbed the back of his neck, gaze breaking away a moment. He didn’t refute that it would hurt, because he wouldn’t lie for an empty reassurance. The thought hurt. And he didn’t know how he’d feel if it happened, even knowing it might be something entirely beyond Nox’s control. He did know it wasn’t something he wanted to think too hard about.
“You can’t cut people out of your life because you’re afraid of what might happen. I wouldn’t let you do it to yourself anyway.” The smile was small, but it was resolute. He thought of Ana and Christian too as he said it. Nox had lost so much. The darkness stole more. Raffe wouldn’t let it.
At the last half-hearted joke he finally shifted closer. Dark hair fanned through his fingers as he pressed a kiss to Nox’s forehead, then rested his own head close. One hand dipped to cup Nox’s jaw, thumb lightly trailing the path the tears had taken. “You’re not too much, Nox.” The words were soft, affectionately earnest, but solemn too. Because whatever else might pass between them, and whatever else the future might hold, he never wanted Nox to think that.
He let the moment sit for a while before he leaned back. Though he didn’t go far, just rested his own elbows onto his thighs, let his arms hang, fingers brushing Nox’s.
He’d already known about the betrayal, and it still didn’t sit well whatever the circumstances, but he wouldn’t ask about it. He understood, even if it had been a shit thing to do to his girlfriend at the time. Everyone made mistakes, and everyone had a past. Sometimes it wasn’t a proud one.
“It sounds like he knows about the hand, but does he know about the rest? Because if he doesn’t then maybe you need to tell him.” If they’d fought monsters together at the concert, and Jay was a soldier to boot, he wouldn’t baulk at the supernatural infection the bite had caused. Raffe would like to think a friend wouldn’t then allow Nox to hurt himself like that -- and he realised that it would tear Nox apart too, that loss of control against will. But he didn’t know the other guy. The doubt wasn’t pleasant.
The somewhat ironic truth was that Raffe didn’t even usually expect fidelity in casual relationships. But whatever he had told himself, even in the very beginning, he wasn’t sure this had ever been casual to him. Even when Nox’s own words had been the warning in his mind, Raffe knew the way his heart set roots. But he was also careful not to hold too tightly for the same reason. The air blew out his lungs with the pressure, and he rubbed the back of his neck, gaze breaking away a moment. He didn’t refute that it would hurt, because he wouldn’t lie for an empty reassurance. The thought hurt. And he didn’t know how he’d feel if it happened, even knowing it might be something entirely beyond Nox’s control. He did know it wasn’t something he wanted to think too hard about.
“You can’t cut people out of your life because you’re afraid of what might happen. I wouldn’t let you do it to yourself anyway.” The smile was small, but it was resolute. He thought of Ana and Christian too as he said it. Nox had lost so much. The darkness stole more. Raffe wouldn’t let it.
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