Crimsonthorn

[Eidolon]

Malaika, Brown Ajah

Malaika listened silently. What Vladamir spoke about with such an austere sense of honour would have been a great and unforgivable shame in Seander. Life simply did not belong to oneself, and the idea of such a choice would be unfathomable there. It was one of the few tenets of her upbringing that Malaika still carried, albeit she no longer believed she belonged to the Empress. But if her eyes remained downcast in contemplation, it was not in judgement of Shienar’s traditions; it was in recognition of the loss which drove the woman to her decision. The guilt of surviving; of being powerless to prevent tragedy. Of feeling responsible.

However those were deeper things, and ones it was not right to share. She did not add that she had felt a kinship in the frenzy of Andreu Kojima’s gaze that night, only to understand far too late its meaning. Malaika had visited the man’s family afterwards, a formal respect for the peripheral part she had played in their loss. She did not know his reasons, and neither had they been on the bridge with the same intentions. But perhaps that was only because Malaika’s life was not her own to give up.

The comfort offered was sharp, and it stung the back of her eyes. A mercy of witness shared, a sentiment she understood. She accepted the reverence in the same spirit she had spent the time identifying and returning the blade. Life should be honoured in both beginnings and ends, and she looked up to acknowledge the words with the solemnity deserved. That Vladamir had been there was the only reason she said anything at all of her own turmoil, knowing it would be less of a burden on shoulders that already bore the weight, and might understand some of what she was feeling. There was quiet contemplation about her, and sadness surely, but if there were words behind it too then they were never spoken.

She withdrew tactfully as the doors swung open, and stood herself. Formality met formality, and she felt some guilt for having distracted him from duty in the first place. As the Sitters streamed out, Malaika looked for Brenna before realising it was a poor decision to linger. She looked away immediately. But already she had seen enough to chill her.

[[Will continue in the Brown Halls... when I get around to it]]