It had been unexpected to be overcome with total and complete desire. It wasn't just a feeling, it spurred his movements. The song drove him to Nox and Nox barely moved. He knew the other man was feeling it but only because his body responded to his touch.
They'd had sex before, plenty of it, but this time it was different. Hayden felt more, wanted more, desired more, and Nox went with everything. It was intense and sensual and sweet and everything it always was, but different.
Hayden wasn't sure he liked it better knowing it was the song that drove the passion in him or not. But he knew Nox needed to feel something. Hayden closed his eyes and drifted in the aftermath.
As they lie there next to each other coming down from their own highs Hayden felt content and Nox was not at his side. There was a moment of fear that he'd left his own bed, but Nox was coming back in to the room a second later with a towel wrapped around his waist and closing the door behind him. "Just putting your clothes in the dryer so you'll have them for tomorrow."
Hayden sat up as Nox cracked open a water bottle and discarded to the hamper in the other corner and climbed into bed next to him. "That was different. I didn't know it was that strong of a pull. And you barely felt it huh?"
Nox shrugged as he offered Hayden the water bottle he'd just drank from. They had just shared more the spit it was hardly a worry about germs. "I would have felt something without it, but it helps remind me I should feel something in a moment."
Hayden sighed. "You know that isn't normal right?"
Nox gave Hayden a look that said he wasn't an idiot but he didn't react any other way, he didn't even say anything just shuffled down into the blanket and moved closer. "Let's not ruin a good night. I'm tired."
Hayden nodded. Nox had been blunt before and his lack of emotions hadn't made that any better. But he didn't want to fight either, and apparently this was something they didn't agree on. Maybe in the morning. Hayden rolled to his side and drapped an arm over Nox. It felt natural, felt welcome and Nox curled into him. The fact that Nox didn't pull on boxers and a tank top meant he felt comfortable and knew the kids wouldn't be joining them. He musta locked the door behind himself.
Nox drifted off to sleep almost immediately. His body still and unmoving. Hayden lay awake thinking taking in the man sleeping next to him, wrapped against his body. The dim light from outside shown on his figure and Hayden noticed the new tattoo. The Lotus was a reminder that this wasn't meant to be his life. But it wasn't the only item in the artwork, Nox's whole life was there, everyone who meant something to him, but front and center was the lotus.
Nox's wallet lit up and Hayden heard the cries of the baby from the other room. "I got it Sky, don't wake Nox." Nox looked peaceful, he'd never looked that way before. His nightmares plagued him, but without fear and guilt what could they do now? Hayden didn't see a creature in sight, and he wondered if he would have if Nox's nightmares were rooted deeper in fear tonight.
Hayden slipped out of the room and into the adjacent one "Hey there." Hayden said picking up Lily and transferring her to the changing table to make sure she was dry and clean. He hadn't changed a diaper before but how hard could it be. He wouldn't be here normally. He wouldn't have done this for anyone else. Liam's teasing poked holes in his reasons. He was just a mark. He needs the help. Hayden shook his head and whispered to Lily. "I'm not in love with your Daddy." He wasn't falling in love. It was just Nox's charisma -- the way about him
Hayden carried Lily out into the kitchen, Elyse and Rachel were fast asleep on the couch. Hayden quietly made a fresh bottle and fed the infant. Hayden sat down on the floor in front of Elyse careful not to jostle the couch or wake the ladies and fed the little one. He knew exactly what made Nox love her so much. He saw it when he looked down into that little face. Hayden glanced up at the TV screen to watch the feed and noted that the song playing was content and happy. He'd changed the song at some point and that was why he was feeling the way he was. Away from the siren's song in Nox's room he was feeling anxious and uncertain. And Nox barely felt any of it even with the song in his ear. He needed to fix it. But he was happy -- free of the burdens of his guilt and his nightmares. Free of the weight of his broken world. What was loss of emotion if he didn't have to feel those bad things all the time.
Hayden wouldn't want to live that way. Lily dozed in his arms after he got a burp from her. He could stay out there, watch the feed and drift off to sleep, but Nox would wonder why. And he had no reason other than he felt the weight of Nox's broken world. So he went back to bed, taking Lily with him. Without his body to rest against Nox had rolled to his back, his default sleeping position. Hayden laid Lily on his chest and covered them both up before crawling in next to him. Nox let out a sigh of releif and his half arm rested against her back while he pulled closer to Hayden's warmth. He was a creature of touch, he missed his sister, that forever constant in his life.
Hayden's mind worried but he eventually drifted off to sleep. They'd talk. Nox had said they would. Hayden wasn't sure he liked what he was thinking or where it would go. But sleep finally took him into the dark sleep of his own nightmares.
They'd had sex before, plenty of it, but this time it was different. Hayden felt more, wanted more, desired more, and Nox went with everything. It was intense and sensual and sweet and everything it always was, but different.
Hayden wasn't sure he liked it better knowing it was the song that drove the passion in him or not. But he knew Nox needed to feel something. Hayden closed his eyes and drifted in the aftermath.
As they lie there next to each other coming down from their own highs Hayden felt content and Nox was not at his side. There was a moment of fear that he'd left his own bed, but Nox was coming back in to the room a second later with a towel wrapped around his waist and closing the door behind him. "Just putting your clothes in the dryer so you'll have them for tomorrow."
Hayden sat up as Nox cracked open a water bottle and discarded to the hamper in the other corner and climbed into bed next to him. "That was different. I didn't know it was that strong of a pull. And you barely felt it huh?"
Nox shrugged as he offered Hayden the water bottle he'd just drank from. They had just shared more the spit it was hardly a worry about germs. "I would have felt something without it, but it helps remind me I should feel something in a moment."
Hayden sighed. "You know that isn't normal right?"
Nox gave Hayden a look that said he wasn't an idiot but he didn't react any other way, he didn't even say anything just shuffled down into the blanket and moved closer. "Let's not ruin a good night. I'm tired."
Hayden nodded. Nox had been blunt before and his lack of emotions hadn't made that any better. But he didn't want to fight either, and apparently this was something they didn't agree on. Maybe in the morning. Hayden rolled to his side and drapped an arm over Nox. It felt natural, felt welcome and Nox curled into him. The fact that Nox didn't pull on boxers and a tank top meant he felt comfortable and knew the kids wouldn't be joining them. He musta locked the door behind himself.
Nox drifted off to sleep almost immediately. His body still and unmoving. Hayden lay awake thinking taking in the man sleeping next to him, wrapped against his body. The dim light from outside shown on his figure and Hayden noticed the new tattoo. The Lotus was a reminder that this wasn't meant to be his life. But it wasn't the only item in the artwork, Nox's whole life was there, everyone who meant something to him, but front and center was the lotus.
Nox's wallet lit up and Hayden heard the cries of the baby from the other room. "I got it Sky, don't wake Nox." Nox looked peaceful, he'd never looked that way before. His nightmares plagued him, but without fear and guilt what could they do now? Hayden didn't see a creature in sight, and he wondered if he would have if Nox's nightmares were rooted deeper in fear tonight.
Hayden slipped out of the room and into the adjacent one "Hey there." Hayden said picking up Lily and transferring her to the changing table to make sure she was dry and clean. He hadn't changed a diaper before but how hard could it be. He wouldn't be here normally. He wouldn't have done this for anyone else. Liam's teasing poked holes in his reasons. He was just a mark. He needs the help. Hayden shook his head and whispered to Lily. "I'm not in love with your Daddy." He wasn't falling in love. It was just Nox's charisma -- the way about him
Hayden carried Lily out into the kitchen, Elyse and Rachel were fast asleep on the couch. Hayden quietly made a fresh bottle and fed the infant. Hayden sat down on the floor in front of Elyse careful not to jostle the couch or wake the ladies and fed the little one. He knew exactly what made Nox love her so much. He saw it when he looked down into that little face. Hayden glanced up at the TV screen to watch the feed and noted that the song playing was content and happy. He'd changed the song at some point and that was why he was feeling the way he was. Away from the siren's song in Nox's room he was feeling anxious and uncertain. And Nox barely felt any of it even with the song in his ear. He needed to fix it. But he was happy -- free of the burdens of his guilt and his nightmares. Free of the weight of his broken world. What was loss of emotion if he didn't have to feel those bad things all the time.
Hayden wouldn't want to live that way. Lily dozed in his arms after he got a burp from her. He could stay out there, watch the feed and drift off to sleep, but Nox would wonder why. And he had no reason other than he felt the weight of Nox's broken world. So he went back to bed, taking Lily with him. Without his body to rest against Nox had rolled to his back, his default sleeping position. Hayden laid Lily on his chest and covered them both up before crawling in next to him. Nox let out a sigh of releif and his half arm rested against her back while he pulled closer to Hayden's warmth. He was a creature of touch, he missed his sister, that forever constant in his life.
Hayden's mind worried but he eventually drifted off to sleep. They'd talk. Nox had said they would. Hayden wasn't sure he liked what he was thinking or where it would go. But sleep finally took him into the dark sleep of his own nightmares.