12-16-2014, 08:55 AM
There was a lot of things going through Aria's mind. The butcher, things that could have happened, things that did happen. Helping Mya, telling Lucas about her life. Helping Asha. Everything was taking a price on her, she wanted to go hunting, but she couldn't go alone, the darkness was tempting, the risk too great. There was reason to keep living, it wasn't just the forgiveness, it was finding someone who actually cared enough to ... well care. It was a first for Aria, she was sure Father Dimitri had cared once, but that time had long since passed.
It had only been a few days since she'd last gone hunting with Nox. It was a trial. They got on well, his powers came in handy, and he really enjoyed the fight. Nox didn't know it had been a trial but it had been. It was time to talk to him about it. Time to present the problem, and how he fit into the solution.
There were things that Aria hadn't told Lucas, and hadn't told him on purpose. He was not equipped to understand the things she needed him to know. Aria was taking a great risk in telling a man she just met these things, on the hope he'd care enough to help her. Nox was a good hunter, but she wasn't sure he was that good of a friend.
Aria took the time to meet with him, to try to start the process of understanding of working with Nox on a more permanent basis. If he couldn't understand her secrets, then she was going to have to do something else. It might be time to fill the Regus' request and pray to God that she survived it long enough to get away from the Atharim before they started hunting her. Because she was sure she would fail in killing Ascendancy.
Nox was still in the same apartment she'd met him in to go find Aurora the first time he'd try to talk to her. It was a scrap of an apartment, worse off than hers but it fit him. But he was moving, or had already done so, this was just so they could have privacy, since Aurora was at his new place, and Asha at hers. This was neutral ground for them both.
Nox opened the door with that fool of a grin, he was always putting on a show, Aria could feel how unhappy he was, how sad and conflicted his emotions where. He offered her water which she was grateful for. Warm water would have been preferred considering how cold she was, but it was water and she was sure she was going to need it.
Aria hadn't really know, not for sure but she knew something was bothering Nox, and the fact that he wanted to talk about it made Aria smile. It was good, maybe it would pave the way to what she needed to talk to him about.
Nox confided in her about the plane crash. He had blood on his hands, accidental, but still blood, Aria knew exactly how that felt, granted her count on accidental was one. It could weigh on the soul no matter what, but Aria knew that Nox was not the religious sort, most people she met weren't, it was a surprise to her that Lucas had been. Most people wanted to believe, but without proof, they couldn't believe, there was no faith. But Aria had faith.
He didn't want to hear words of comfort, he'd gotten that, he wanted more. Resolution, absolution, forgiveness, things that she couldn't give him. He had to do that. She waited, and felt what he was feeling. Most of all he wanted understanding. She understood.
The silence wasn't awkward, it was comforting. The knowledge of secrets kept, acceptance. She smiled to herself, she had been right to come and tell him. He would understand, it was beneficial for both of them. She had faith, in him, and in herself that this was right.
He told her the story as he knew it. Aria listened, she gave him the only advice she had to give him, the same she had received when she confessed her sins - pay it forward. Do something good for all the horrible things you've done in your past. She was trying, and even though Nox did not believe in her God, she knew he would try.
She smiled at him, he felt more alive, happier, he had a certain spunk back in his emotions that made her smile even more. It felt good to know she'd helped him, at least in a minor way. But it was her turn to share.
"I wanted to ask of your a favor, but before you accept or decline helping me, we have a great deal to go through, I need, "
Aria could not express how much she needed to this, the word just wasn't enough, "I need to tell you before you agree."
Nox laughed, "That confident I'll agree."
Aria smiled back, his laugh was infectious, he was a charmer if nothing else. "I feel we have a unique connection, a unique opportunity to be a team, so yes, I feel confident you will agree."
Nox shook his head in mirth. "Well shoot then. If I say no I'll break your whole world up."
Aria smiled at the joke. "I'm sure I'll survive your rejection."
He grinned at her. ""I'm all ears."
Aria got the impression he would waggle his ears at her if he could. He was such a goof, she had no choice but to smile back.
Aria took a deep breath. "First the favor, proposal whatever you want to call it. Keep it in your mind when I tell you the rest. I'd like for us to work together. A partnership. Hunting monsters together, watching each others back, maintaining each other's sanity."
Nox grinned at her again. "I think we are moving in that direction even if you didn't ask. I can't share this with my sister. She'll doubt me. I can't work like that."
Aria nodded, "Neither can I. What I'm about to share with you one person knows. And he only knows because he was part of the whole situation."
Aria tried to pull her hands free of his grasp, it was not something she wanted to share with him by accident, but he smiled at her and shook his head. "You can feel what I do, I can't feel what you feel, but this insures you know exactly what I'm feeling, no hiding, complete openness?"
Aria nodded and relaxed. "I might over-share. I warn you."
Nox nodded and Aria continued. "I've been the cause of five human deaths in my life time. The first was a friend. It was my first kiss."
Aria could feel the horror in Nox's emotions, not at the death itself, it was the thought of a young girl going through the whole ordeal. "I overwhelmed him with my ability."
Aria felt Nox flinch slightly and then relaxed. "I have much better control now."
She smiled reassuringly at him.
"I was told he left the Vatican. He never wanted to see me. I found out recently that I had actually killed him. His heart gave out."
Aria could see the sadness in Nox's eyes, could feel it in his emotions. "I'm not looking for pity, or sadness. Just facts. The depths of my issues."
"A few months back, I met a man. He was like you, in the terms that he was a godling. He touched me. It was casual, it was nothing more than him looking at my "ridiculous sword" as he called it. I had not been touched voluntarily since I'd taken Scott's life accidentally."
"I touched him. My longing to be touched transferred to him. It created a bond between the two of us, Dane and I were obsessed with each other. He followed me around. I used his near constant presence to adapt to my new life. His strange calm center, he wasn't like anyone I'd ever met."
Aria looked down. "I went looking for danger. I was hunting the feel of monsters to touch them, to overwhelm myself, to understand the hunger of the monsters so I could prepare for my final mission."
She looked up with a wry grin. "I'll share that later. He followed me as I tracked a draniaka. I let her go. She let me live. I went into a bar, to see why she'd gone in. Nothing out of the ordinary. But I felt the drainka die, I later understood that Dane had killed her. I don't know why, but he did."
"Inside the bar I'd met Takeo, Privilege Takeo, he had guards outside who saw it go down, at least partially, we went outside. A reporter found us as I had the murder weapon in my hand, Takeo slipped away on video and I was left holding the weapon. I meant to scare her, but Dane was so close, I felt my desire for him, and I gave it to her instead of fear. Seducing her. It worked well enough. She took me to her apartment."
Aria stopped for a moment letting Nox's emotions catch up to what she said and took a drink of the water he'd given her. Aria could feel the typical lust and she smiled knowingly, he blushed. He actually blushed. He shook his head with a grin and Aria continued. "We had a little fun, a few beers, and were in bed when Dane walked into her apartment. My heart leapt, my eyes barely left him. Dane was holding the power, I couldn't feel what he was feeling, but I manipulated the woman to lull Dane, to touch him, afraid of what I might do."
Aria swallowed hard. "He glanced at my sword. It's not a good play thing, and definitely not an object to be used for sex. But I still had the knife. I got it. I turned off my humanity in that moment. I'd been taught to kill a human, and every monster known. I dissected human cadavers, and monsters alike. I killed her. No, I tortured her."
Aria looked up. "It's not that fact really that bothers me, its that I enjoyed it. I want to do it again."
"I walked away from that apartment killing two more in an explosion to cover my tracks, they were an innocent older couple asleep in their apartment. The forth was a man who had followed me, he got caught in the explosion. I killed him to end his misery and so he couldn't tell anyone what I'd done."
Aria frowned, "I want to hurt people, take their fear and their suffering and I want to make it worse. It is part of my ability drawing me to it. But I don't want to do that. Confusing I know. I don't want to hurt people, but I'm drawn to it. Hunting helps, but I get lost in the darkness. I can pull myself out, but usually takes a lot of effort. I need someone to help keep me from falling so far, to be there to help me fight while it's happening, not just afterwards. Lucas is wonderful, and gives me reason to come back, but it's harder the further I fall into the rabbit hole."
Aria closed her eyes and leaned back against the chair and tried to relax the tension that was inside. She tried to gauge what Nox was feeling, but she was having trouble escaping the pull of Dane's memory.
Edited by Aria, Dec 16 2014, 08:57 AM.
It had only been a few days since she'd last gone hunting with Nox. It was a trial. They got on well, his powers came in handy, and he really enjoyed the fight. Nox didn't know it had been a trial but it had been. It was time to talk to him about it. Time to present the problem, and how he fit into the solution.
There were things that Aria hadn't told Lucas, and hadn't told him on purpose. He was not equipped to understand the things she needed him to know. Aria was taking a great risk in telling a man she just met these things, on the hope he'd care enough to help her. Nox was a good hunter, but she wasn't sure he was that good of a friend.
Aria took the time to meet with him, to try to start the process of understanding of working with Nox on a more permanent basis. If he couldn't understand her secrets, then she was going to have to do something else. It might be time to fill the Regus' request and pray to God that she survived it long enough to get away from the Atharim before they started hunting her. Because she was sure she would fail in killing Ascendancy.
Nox was still in the same apartment she'd met him in to go find Aurora the first time he'd try to talk to her. It was a scrap of an apartment, worse off than hers but it fit him. But he was moving, or had already done so, this was just so they could have privacy, since Aurora was at his new place, and Asha at hers. This was neutral ground for them both.
Nox opened the door with that fool of a grin, he was always putting on a show, Aria could feel how unhappy he was, how sad and conflicted his emotions where. He offered her water which she was grateful for. Warm water would have been preferred considering how cold she was, but it was water and she was sure she was going to need it.
Aria hadn't really know, not for sure but she knew something was bothering Nox, and the fact that he wanted to talk about it made Aria smile. It was good, maybe it would pave the way to what she needed to talk to him about.
Nox confided in her about the plane crash. He had blood on his hands, accidental, but still blood, Aria knew exactly how that felt, granted her count on accidental was one. It could weigh on the soul no matter what, but Aria knew that Nox was not the religious sort, most people she met weren't, it was a surprise to her that Lucas had been. Most people wanted to believe, but without proof, they couldn't believe, there was no faith. But Aria had faith.
He didn't want to hear words of comfort, he'd gotten that, he wanted more. Resolution, absolution, forgiveness, things that she couldn't give him. He had to do that. She waited, and felt what he was feeling. Most of all he wanted understanding. She understood.
The silence wasn't awkward, it was comforting. The knowledge of secrets kept, acceptance. She smiled to herself, she had been right to come and tell him. He would understand, it was beneficial for both of them. She had faith, in him, and in herself that this was right.
He told her the story as he knew it. Aria listened, she gave him the only advice she had to give him, the same she had received when she confessed her sins - pay it forward. Do something good for all the horrible things you've done in your past. She was trying, and even though Nox did not believe in her God, she knew he would try.
She smiled at him, he felt more alive, happier, he had a certain spunk back in his emotions that made her smile even more. It felt good to know she'd helped him, at least in a minor way. But it was her turn to share.
"I wanted to ask of your a favor, but before you accept or decline helping me, we have a great deal to go through, I need, "
Aria could not express how much she needed to this, the word just wasn't enough, "I need to tell you before you agree."
Nox laughed, "That confident I'll agree."
Aria smiled back, his laugh was infectious, he was a charmer if nothing else. "I feel we have a unique connection, a unique opportunity to be a team, so yes, I feel confident you will agree."
Nox shook his head in mirth. "Well shoot then. If I say no I'll break your whole world up."
Aria smiled at the joke. "I'm sure I'll survive your rejection."
He grinned at her. ""I'm all ears."
Aria got the impression he would waggle his ears at her if he could. He was such a goof, she had no choice but to smile back.
Aria took a deep breath. "First the favor, proposal whatever you want to call it. Keep it in your mind when I tell you the rest. I'd like for us to work together. A partnership. Hunting monsters together, watching each others back, maintaining each other's sanity."
Nox grinned at her again. "I think we are moving in that direction even if you didn't ask. I can't share this with my sister. She'll doubt me. I can't work like that."
Aria nodded, "Neither can I. What I'm about to share with you one person knows. And he only knows because he was part of the whole situation."
Aria tried to pull her hands free of his grasp, it was not something she wanted to share with him by accident, but he smiled at her and shook his head. "You can feel what I do, I can't feel what you feel, but this insures you know exactly what I'm feeling, no hiding, complete openness?"
Aria nodded and relaxed. "I might over-share. I warn you."
Nox nodded and Aria continued. "I've been the cause of five human deaths in my life time. The first was a friend. It was my first kiss."
Aria could feel the horror in Nox's emotions, not at the death itself, it was the thought of a young girl going through the whole ordeal. "I overwhelmed him with my ability."
Aria felt Nox flinch slightly and then relaxed. "I have much better control now."
She smiled reassuringly at him.
"I was told he left the Vatican. He never wanted to see me. I found out recently that I had actually killed him. His heart gave out."
Aria could see the sadness in Nox's eyes, could feel it in his emotions. "I'm not looking for pity, or sadness. Just facts. The depths of my issues."
"A few months back, I met a man. He was like you, in the terms that he was a godling. He touched me. It was casual, it was nothing more than him looking at my "ridiculous sword" as he called it. I had not been touched voluntarily since I'd taken Scott's life accidentally."
"I touched him. My longing to be touched transferred to him. It created a bond between the two of us, Dane and I were obsessed with each other. He followed me around. I used his near constant presence to adapt to my new life. His strange calm center, he wasn't like anyone I'd ever met."
Aria looked down. "I went looking for danger. I was hunting the feel of monsters to touch them, to overwhelm myself, to understand the hunger of the monsters so I could prepare for my final mission."
She looked up with a wry grin. "I'll share that later. He followed me as I tracked a draniaka. I let her go. She let me live. I went into a bar, to see why she'd gone in. Nothing out of the ordinary. But I felt the drainka die, I later understood that Dane had killed her. I don't know why, but he did."
"Inside the bar I'd met Takeo, Privilege Takeo, he had guards outside who saw it go down, at least partially, we went outside. A reporter found us as I had the murder weapon in my hand, Takeo slipped away on video and I was left holding the weapon. I meant to scare her, but Dane was so close, I felt my desire for him, and I gave it to her instead of fear. Seducing her. It worked well enough. She took me to her apartment."
Aria stopped for a moment letting Nox's emotions catch up to what she said and took a drink of the water he'd given her. Aria could feel the typical lust and she smiled knowingly, he blushed. He actually blushed. He shook his head with a grin and Aria continued. "We had a little fun, a few beers, and were in bed when Dane walked into her apartment. My heart leapt, my eyes barely left him. Dane was holding the power, I couldn't feel what he was feeling, but I manipulated the woman to lull Dane, to touch him, afraid of what I might do."
Aria swallowed hard. "He glanced at my sword. It's not a good play thing, and definitely not an object to be used for sex. But I still had the knife. I got it. I turned off my humanity in that moment. I'd been taught to kill a human, and every monster known. I dissected human cadavers, and monsters alike. I killed her. No, I tortured her."
Aria looked up. "It's not that fact really that bothers me, its that I enjoyed it. I want to do it again."
"I walked away from that apartment killing two more in an explosion to cover my tracks, they were an innocent older couple asleep in their apartment. The forth was a man who had followed me, he got caught in the explosion. I killed him to end his misery and so he couldn't tell anyone what I'd done."
Aria frowned, "I want to hurt people, take their fear and their suffering and I want to make it worse. It is part of my ability drawing me to it. But I don't want to do that. Confusing I know. I don't want to hurt people, but I'm drawn to it. Hunting helps, but I get lost in the darkness. I can pull myself out, but usually takes a lot of effort. I need someone to help keep me from falling so far, to be there to help me fight while it's happening, not just afterwards. Lucas is wonderful, and gives me reason to come back, but it's harder the further I fall into the rabbit hole."
Aria closed her eyes and leaned back against the chair and tried to relax the tension that was inside. She tried to gauge what Nox was feeling, but she was having trouble escaping the pull of Dane's memory.
Edited by Aria, Dec 16 2014, 08:57 AM.