07-26-2014, 04:15 PM
She took his hand as she talked. Her voice was soft as she talked and his heart went out to her. Life just wasn't fair. He'd learned from Valentin that he had been worthy of love, that he was of value. The lesson had come late in life. A memory came to him. He was sitting at the table in the kitchen, Valentin across from him, trying to talk to him. He had been jonesing really bad, hurting and wanting a hit. Valentin was trying to tell him that he could do it, that he didn't need the drugs. Lucas just wanted to curl up and die. Valentin didn't understand, he couldn't. He put his head down on the table and the tears leaked out. He felt so alone. And then he felt Valentin's hand on the back of his head. It didn't move, it was just there, as if to say that he was with him, that he cared.
Lucas had never been touched before, not like that. His dad had never touched him. He couldn't care less about him. And all the people he sold himself to touched him only to get what they wanted. But this man, he wanted nothing but good for Lucas. He cared. For the first time in his life, Lucas felt connected to another human being. He started crying. It wasn't for the pain of withdrawal. He cried because of everything good that he'd missed in his life, that no one, not one person, had ever showed him that he mattered, that he was important. It was so very wrong. He had been dead inside until Valentin had brought him to life, had taught him his self worth. Now, he knew he was worthy, that he mattered. That feeling had been like a safety line as he fought his addictions and finally got free. It was what he clung to when feelings of worthlessness overwhelmed him, of rage at the world. It gave him peace.
To see Aria and know that she'd been through that- but worse, since she could feel everything others did- their fears and their loneliness and disinterest in her- his heart broke for her. She still held his hand. She'd killed that boy. The thought made him sad. And he felt anger at those who would tell her he wanted nothing to do with her. Poor girl he thought, imagining her as a 16 year old. He leaned forward until he was closer, until he was only inches from her. He took her hand in both of his and held it to his chest. "Can you feel it? Can you feel what I feel? Can you take my strength? My peace?"
He nodded to her. "Go ahead. Take it. It's what you need right?"
He smiled at her, willing her to do this, the use him for her own strength. "I trust you,
he said simply. And he watched her green eyes, hoping to see something. He wanted her to live.
Aria felt his thoughts change as she spoke, his memories, his thoughts brought him pain and underneath it all understanding of what she was going through, but most of it was lost underneath the pain. He said she could take his strength. But it didn't work that way. She could feel it. But it was just that his feelings. She could feed it back to him and make it feel stronger than it was, but it didn't really change her, she could get lost in him, and that would be that, she'd be lost. Like she was with Dane...
Aria shook her head. "I can't. It doesn't work that way, and it may be what I need. But it's not what I want."
Aria looked down at her knees, she didn't want him to see. "There is only a very thin cloth between me and your pain. If I pull anything from you to try to strength my own resolve, it'll be too strong. The hunger. The need to hurt."
Aria shook her head. "I've felt enough of your struggles, your pain to know I couldn't let go. I'd lose this..."
She tightened her grip on his hand and leaned against his chest, if he moved she'd fall over, but she didn't think he was going to. "I'd lose everything as of right now to it. I don't want that to happen. And I'd not only hurt myself, but I'd hurt you in the process. Don't trust me, not yet. I don't trust myself."
"I hurt a friend because he was in pain."
She looked up into his blue eyes and smiled. "I don't want to hurt you."
Lucas listened to her, saddened. He couldn't give her what she needed, couldn't just will it to her. He heard her words, her hunger for pain. It was disconcerting, of course, but he really had no idea what it was like to be her, to have her abilities. He wracked his mind, trying to think of something else, then.
He smiled, a thought coming to him. Valentin had no power, nor did he. In the end, what mattered was believing you were worth something, worthy of love and care. "Then do this Aria. Take what I feel for you, feel it to your bones, as much as you can without hurting me too much. Take it and know that you matter. You have always mattered. You just didn't know it. Those who should have told you, helped you to know it, didn't. The same happened to me for most of my life. But I was helped. I had to learn to believe it of myself, that people truly cared. But you can look in me and see that I am telling the truth. Hold on to that. Can you do that?"
She smiled up at him. He was trying, and he didn't have to try to be anything. "I don't have to take anything to know what you say."
Aria let go of his hand and moved away from him, but not too far, she didn't want to be alarming. "I don't have to touch you, or look at you to know that. I feel it from you. You radiate it. I know it's hard to understand. But I don't have to hurt you at all to know you care, that you are strength I can use. Just sitting next to you I know. I could be across the room and still feel the same thing."
Aria smiled. "I could leave my apartment. I could walk for blocks and still know."
Aria moved closer to him, and put her hands against his chest. "I don't want to do any of that. But I could."
Aria put her hand on his cheek and closed her eyes. Aria sent Lucas only a portion of what she felt from him. "I could echo your feelings into you and me until it was all there was. This is nothing compared to what I could do to you."
Aria stopped sending him his own feelings, it felt too quiet now, and put her other hand on the other side of his face. "I don't want to hurt you. I don't want you to let me. I will be weak. You have very powerful demons. You overcame them. But I haven't yet. I want to hurt you. I want to feel your pain. You can't let me. Not even a little."
Aria let go and sat back against the couch. "I had a relationship not to long ago. He was calm and quiet most of the time, emotionally. He helped me in too many ways. But he was the object of my obsession and I his. It didn't turn out to well. I wanted to hurt him. I didn't, but not for wanting to. There were others to hurt, less threatening objects of our affection."
Aria looked at Lucas and smiled. "This is not that. Whatever this is. Don't let me hurt you."
He listened to her words and felt warmth suffuse him as she described what she felt from him. He was glad to know that. He hoped she would anchor herself to him.
And then she touched his chest, his cheek, and suddenly he felt a sense of strength that felt familiar, but amplified. It was....odd. His feelings filtered through her and back to him. Echo, she said. He laughed inside as the thought of them having sex came to mind. What would that be like, if she was echoing their sensations back and forth? His mind flashed to the experience of feeling her sensations. He was becoming aroused and he definitely didn't need to be. He hoped that while she was sending she couldn't sense his feelings.
He took a breath and cleared his mind just as those feelings stopped coming from her. "I don't want to hurt you. I don't want you to let me. I will be weak. You have very powerful demons. You overcame them. But I haven't yet. I want to hurt you. I want to feel your pain. You can't let me. Not even a little."
The thought was like cold water in the face. This woman needed help, needed him. But he'd have to be careful. Not to avoid the pain. Or at least not just that. Instead, he didn't want her to fall, he didn't want her give up. He was a little frightened, to be honest. This wasn't playing around. This woman was on the cusp of a darkness he couldn't imagine. Was he strong enough for this? Could he do it?
He listened to her memories of another man. Codependent. Sick. He'd known that before in his life. People who were bad for you but gave you what you needed- or thought you needed. He'd had to learn that he didn't need that person. It was unhealthy. She needed to learn it. Again, fear shot through him. Others to hurt? His stomach turned at that, sorrow flooding him. Was she lost? Was she too far gone? Can I do this? Am I strong enough?
He clenched his teeth and took a shakey breath, listing to the last. "This is not that. Whatever this is. Don't let me hurt you."
She was being open with him. She was asking him to help her. He didn't fully understand the nature of her darkness. But the look on her face, the smile that was tremulous, that, to him at least, looked like it was covering up fear- fear of rejection maybe?- those eyes that looked into his, begging.
He stepped off the cliff. "Ok Aria. I will do this with you. But you have to be honest with me at all times. You have to tell me when the darkness is calling you, when you want to hurt or feel pain. You must not hide from me because that's the only way I can know to help you when you need it."
He breathed, the fear still there. But there was also a sense of decision. He hoped he was doing the right thing.
He took her head in his hands and kissed her gently on the forehead, then pulled her head to his chest. "I'll do everything I can to help you."
He was scared. But he needed to do this. He didn't want her to give up. The fear of that was worse.
After a moment he lifted her head and said, "You want to see the idea I had for your tattoo? I think it might help."
Aria felt everything Lucas did as she talked. Aria's heart swooned when his passion rose. It wasn't that she didn't want to, she did, probably too much so. But she knew better. He had no way of protecting himself from her. No way to cut her off. It was just as dangerous as the pain, getting lost in Lucas would be too easy.
His fear and doubts creept into Aria and her fear rose. She knew that it was alot. And he didn't even know the worst parts. She didn't blame him if he wanted to walk away. She probably would if she were in his shoes. Crazy was one way to put her...
But his words did not say what he was feeling. Honesty wasn't a problem. But how far did he want that to extend. Aria glanced at the books sitting on the table. "I can be completely honest with you. But how far does that go? There are things you shouldn't know. Things that could get you killed for just the hint that you know."
The reporter came to mind, she'd been unwilling to kill her at first. But then... Aria sighed. "I will tell you when things get rough. I can make that promise. And if you ask about the rest. I will tell you. But you have to ask."
He kissed her on the forehead and she wanted very much to just kiss him. She smiled as he tucked her against his chest. Knowing he wanted to was enough. "I know your afraid. So am I."
Lucas changed the subject. Back to their original conversation. She laughed softly. "Sure. But I think the table is a better venue for drawing."
Aria stood up and offered Lucas a hand. He took it softly and she lead him over to the table. The rickety table was barely better than hunching over the coffee table but at least it wasn't so low to be uncomfortable. He sat down and started to draw. Aria moved to the cubboard and grabbed two glass and filled them with water. It was all she had. But they hadn't had anything to drink with their dinner and talking so much, she needed a drink. That was probably the most talking about herself she'd ever done.
Aria stood by the sink for a while and watched Lucas draw. His comments and his feelings kept coming back to her. Aria took him the glass and set it down in front of him. "It's all I have."
She stood behind him and watched. Aria missed touching him. It wasn't about the pain, she missed feeling him like he was part of her. She could feel him. But she wanted to touch him. To be touched by him. That's how it started with Dane, she knew she had to be careful. Aria put her hand on his shoulder and tried not to jostle him too much. She wasn't really watching him draw anymore. She was aborbed in him. Aria kissed the top of his head.
Lucas' concentration waivered. Aria was distracting him. Aria felt her neighbors climb the stairs to their apartment. She laughed softly. "They're home."
Aria bent over and nuzzled his neck. She took a deep breath and savored his scent. Aria whispered in his ear. "This is all me, nothing to do with them."
Aria kissed his neck and then moved the arm that wasn't drawing and sat down on his lap with one leg on each side facing him. She leaned in and kissed him. She pulled away and whispered, "We take this very slowly."
Aria took him by the hand and led him to the table. He felt so large following behind her. He sat at the table and started to draw the image that had come to mind. First he sketched a rough approximation of her existing tattoo. Then, around that he started drawing. When he was drawing he always went to a strange place. He just zoned out, becoming unaware of things around him as he struggled to translate the images and feelings that he had in his mind onto paper. Even for simple things, he fell into that zone unless something broke through.
He vaguely felt Aria's hand on his shoulder and then a kiss on his head. This was going well. The image seemed to flow from his pencil onto the paper. His connection with Aria had made it so clear and now it was coming to life. He felt her nuzzling his neck. It became harder to concentrate. This was so clear though. His pen moved faster. He was almost done.
She sat down astraddle him and he couldn't see the pad anymore. He was looking into her eyes, feeling her press against him. He stopped drawing and just watched her. She leaned in and kissed him. Clean, simple, her lips soft. He felt himself respond to her. She pulled away and whispered, "We take this very slowly."
He wanted her. Right now. He kissed her again, arms going around her, pulling her to him, feeling every inch of her touching him. His heart pounded. Slowly, she said. He pulled back and just looked at her. She seemed hungry for him, her eyes seeking something in him. Despite the raw heat he felt, an image of her as a little girl wandering the streets, bombarded by the emotions of the crowd, scared and overwelmed and lost, came to him. His feeling changed. He felt protective of her. He wanted to make love to her. But she needed more than that. She needed acceptance. She needed stability. He could wait.
He embraced her, their two bodies intertwined, and just held her. "I believe in you Aria. And I am here for you,"
he whispered. And he just held her, letting her feel his solidity. He hoped she could also feel how much he wanted her- not just sexually. More importantly, how much he wanted her to be happy, to find peace. So he just held her and hoped that it was enough for her.
Lucas kissed her again and Aria felt everything and more. She longed for this. Not just his touch but his emotions, he's strength, the connection. It was more than she'd wished for, hoped for, dreamed of. His feelings changed but Aria was happy, he had listened, slow was good. He took her in his arms and just held her, told her he beleived in her. That he was there. That was more than anyone had ever done in her life. Aria put her head against his shoulder. "Am I in the way? For you to finish?"
She could get up and just watch, but she wanted to be close. She knew the time would come for more. "Heh...you're giving me a tough choice to make. Whatever you want, Aria. I don't mind either way."
Aria smiled and tried not too move too much. She didn't want to make matters worse. She let him finish drawing. She'd see the finish product, she was much more content to just lay against him, feeling him. Aria didn't want to move, didn't want the day to end. But she would have to sleep soon. She'd been up for over 24 hours by this point in time. The hunt the night before had been fruitless, except for the resolve to walk the day, which had turned out far better than she could have imagined.
Lucas zoned out again and Aria let her self drift. It was the first time in forever nothing encroached up on her senses. She was perfectly calm sitting in Lucas' lap, like a child would take comfort. It made Aria slightly nervous in the imagry but she wasn't about to move. Aria closed her eyes and soon drifted into nothingness, probably the best rest she'd gotten since her talent manifested.
Aria relaxed against him. It felt nice, safe. It was a little difficult drawing with her like this, but he didn't want to move her. She needed this and he was glad she was willing to accept his comfort. Gradually he got back into the zone and worked on the drawing until he was satisfied. When he was done he held it up and looked at it. Perfect.
He looked down at her head, aware once again of her pressed against him. She breathed steadily against his shoulder. He smiled and put his arms around her, enclosing her. He sat there for a little while like that. He didn't really want to wake her, but it was uncomfortable.
"Aria"
he whispered. She stirred her head. Softly he said, "Aria, here, let's move."
She sleepily got off him though she still leaned on his shoulder. He stood up, picking her up as he did, and carried her to her bed. He laid her down and then pulled the blanket at the foot of the bed over her. Then he went to the other side of the bed and cuddled up next to her, putting his arms around her. He kissed her gently on the cheek and then put his head on the pillow, feeling her warmth against him, the slow movement of her steady breath.
He fell asleep like that, just holding her.
Aria woke up with the sun rising into the windows. It was a very odd feeling waking up when the sun did. Since coming to Moscow she'd done so very rarely, usually only when she needed to meet someone to do something on normal people hours. But that wasn't actually waking up, more like not going to bed at all.
Aria felt Lucas arm over her body and smiled. She carefully pulled out from underneath him and the blankets. No need to wake him up. She wished she had food to offer him, but the small refrigerator in the apartment was pretty empty. The drawing he'd been working on when she fell asleep sat on the table.
Aria tried to see it from the vantage point she was at, but the lines were drawn in pencil and it was not clear. She walked over to the table and picked it up. The lines were clean and crisp. She smiled. It was perfect. Not that she knew art by any standards, but he was a fine artist.
Two dragons entwined the oroborous, caught in mid-fight. One dark, one light, no one clearly having the advantage over the other. It depicted her life perfectly down to the minute detail. He really did understand. Aria glanced over to the bed where Lucas slept with a smile. Maybe this is what it was supposed to be like. Aria knew that doubt would creep in the moment he left, but for now, she was content in knowing he was there for her and he cared. It didn't help that he found her desirable either, but that was only icing on the cake.
Continued in Dueling Dragons
Edited by Aria, Jul 29 2014, 12:42 PM.
Lucas had never been touched before, not like that. His dad had never touched him. He couldn't care less about him. And all the people he sold himself to touched him only to get what they wanted. But this man, he wanted nothing but good for Lucas. He cared. For the first time in his life, Lucas felt connected to another human being. He started crying. It wasn't for the pain of withdrawal. He cried because of everything good that he'd missed in his life, that no one, not one person, had ever showed him that he mattered, that he was important. It was so very wrong. He had been dead inside until Valentin had brought him to life, had taught him his self worth. Now, he knew he was worthy, that he mattered. That feeling had been like a safety line as he fought his addictions and finally got free. It was what he clung to when feelings of worthlessness overwhelmed him, of rage at the world. It gave him peace.
To see Aria and know that she'd been through that- but worse, since she could feel everything others did- their fears and their loneliness and disinterest in her- his heart broke for her. She still held his hand. She'd killed that boy. The thought made him sad. And he felt anger at those who would tell her he wanted nothing to do with her. Poor girl he thought, imagining her as a 16 year old. He leaned forward until he was closer, until he was only inches from her. He took her hand in both of his and held it to his chest. "Can you feel it? Can you feel what I feel? Can you take my strength? My peace?"
He nodded to her. "Go ahead. Take it. It's what you need right?"
He smiled at her, willing her to do this, the use him for her own strength. "I trust you,
he said simply. And he watched her green eyes, hoping to see something. He wanted her to live.
Aria felt his thoughts change as she spoke, his memories, his thoughts brought him pain and underneath it all understanding of what she was going through, but most of it was lost underneath the pain. He said she could take his strength. But it didn't work that way. She could feel it. But it was just that his feelings. She could feed it back to him and make it feel stronger than it was, but it didn't really change her, she could get lost in him, and that would be that, she'd be lost. Like she was with Dane...
Aria shook her head. "I can't. It doesn't work that way, and it may be what I need. But it's not what I want."
Aria looked down at her knees, she didn't want him to see. "There is only a very thin cloth between me and your pain. If I pull anything from you to try to strength my own resolve, it'll be too strong. The hunger. The need to hurt."
Aria shook her head. "I've felt enough of your struggles, your pain to know I couldn't let go. I'd lose this..."
She tightened her grip on his hand and leaned against his chest, if he moved she'd fall over, but she didn't think he was going to. "I'd lose everything as of right now to it. I don't want that to happen. And I'd not only hurt myself, but I'd hurt you in the process. Don't trust me, not yet. I don't trust myself."
"I hurt a friend because he was in pain."
She looked up into his blue eyes and smiled. "I don't want to hurt you."
Lucas listened to her, saddened. He couldn't give her what she needed, couldn't just will it to her. He heard her words, her hunger for pain. It was disconcerting, of course, but he really had no idea what it was like to be her, to have her abilities. He wracked his mind, trying to think of something else, then.
He smiled, a thought coming to him. Valentin had no power, nor did he. In the end, what mattered was believing you were worth something, worthy of love and care. "Then do this Aria. Take what I feel for you, feel it to your bones, as much as you can without hurting me too much. Take it and know that you matter. You have always mattered. You just didn't know it. Those who should have told you, helped you to know it, didn't. The same happened to me for most of my life. But I was helped. I had to learn to believe it of myself, that people truly cared. But you can look in me and see that I am telling the truth. Hold on to that. Can you do that?"
She smiled up at him. He was trying, and he didn't have to try to be anything. "I don't have to take anything to know what you say."
Aria let go of his hand and moved away from him, but not too far, she didn't want to be alarming. "I don't have to touch you, or look at you to know that. I feel it from you. You radiate it. I know it's hard to understand. But I don't have to hurt you at all to know you care, that you are strength I can use. Just sitting next to you I know. I could be across the room and still feel the same thing."
Aria smiled. "I could leave my apartment. I could walk for blocks and still know."
Aria moved closer to him, and put her hands against his chest. "I don't want to do any of that. But I could."
Aria put her hand on his cheek and closed her eyes. Aria sent Lucas only a portion of what she felt from him. "I could echo your feelings into you and me until it was all there was. This is nothing compared to what I could do to you."
Aria stopped sending him his own feelings, it felt too quiet now, and put her other hand on the other side of his face. "I don't want to hurt you. I don't want you to let me. I will be weak. You have very powerful demons. You overcame them. But I haven't yet. I want to hurt you. I want to feel your pain. You can't let me. Not even a little."
Aria let go and sat back against the couch. "I had a relationship not to long ago. He was calm and quiet most of the time, emotionally. He helped me in too many ways. But he was the object of my obsession and I his. It didn't turn out to well. I wanted to hurt him. I didn't, but not for wanting to. There were others to hurt, less threatening objects of our affection."
Aria looked at Lucas and smiled. "This is not that. Whatever this is. Don't let me hurt you."
He listened to her words and felt warmth suffuse him as she described what she felt from him. He was glad to know that. He hoped she would anchor herself to him.
And then she touched his chest, his cheek, and suddenly he felt a sense of strength that felt familiar, but amplified. It was....odd. His feelings filtered through her and back to him. Echo, she said. He laughed inside as the thought of them having sex came to mind. What would that be like, if she was echoing their sensations back and forth? His mind flashed to the experience of feeling her sensations. He was becoming aroused and he definitely didn't need to be. He hoped that while she was sending she couldn't sense his feelings.
He took a breath and cleared his mind just as those feelings stopped coming from her. "I don't want to hurt you. I don't want you to let me. I will be weak. You have very powerful demons. You overcame them. But I haven't yet. I want to hurt you. I want to feel your pain. You can't let me. Not even a little."
The thought was like cold water in the face. This woman needed help, needed him. But he'd have to be careful. Not to avoid the pain. Or at least not just that. Instead, he didn't want her to fall, he didn't want her give up. He was a little frightened, to be honest. This wasn't playing around. This woman was on the cusp of a darkness he couldn't imagine. Was he strong enough for this? Could he do it?
He listened to her memories of another man. Codependent. Sick. He'd known that before in his life. People who were bad for you but gave you what you needed- or thought you needed. He'd had to learn that he didn't need that person. It was unhealthy. She needed to learn it. Again, fear shot through him. Others to hurt? His stomach turned at that, sorrow flooding him. Was she lost? Was she too far gone? Can I do this? Am I strong enough?
He clenched his teeth and took a shakey breath, listing to the last. "This is not that. Whatever this is. Don't let me hurt you."
She was being open with him. She was asking him to help her. He didn't fully understand the nature of her darkness. But the look on her face, the smile that was tremulous, that, to him at least, looked like it was covering up fear- fear of rejection maybe?- those eyes that looked into his, begging.
He stepped off the cliff. "Ok Aria. I will do this with you. But you have to be honest with me at all times. You have to tell me when the darkness is calling you, when you want to hurt or feel pain. You must not hide from me because that's the only way I can know to help you when you need it."
He breathed, the fear still there. But there was also a sense of decision. He hoped he was doing the right thing.
He took her head in his hands and kissed her gently on the forehead, then pulled her head to his chest. "I'll do everything I can to help you."
He was scared. But he needed to do this. He didn't want her to give up. The fear of that was worse.
After a moment he lifted her head and said, "You want to see the idea I had for your tattoo? I think it might help."
Aria felt everything Lucas did as she talked. Aria's heart swooned when his passion rose. It wasn't that she didn't want to, she did, probably too much so. But she knew better. He had no way of protecting himself from her. No way to cut her off. It was just as dangerous as the pain, getting lost in Lucas would be too easy.
His fear and doubts creept into Aria and her fear rose. She knew that it was alot. And he didn't even know the worst parts. She didn't blame him if he wanted to walk away. She probably would if she were in his shoes. Crazy was one way to put her...
But his words did not say what he was feeling. Honesty wasn't a problem. But how far did he want that to extend. Aria glanced at the books sitting on the table. "I can be completely honest with you. But how far does that go? There are things you shouldn't know. Things that could get you killed for just the hint that you know."
The reporter came to mind, she'd been unwilling to kill her at first. But then... Aria sighed. "I will tell you when things get rough. I can make that promise. And if you ask about the rest. I will tell you. But you have to ask."
He kissed her on the forehead and she wanted very much to just kiss him. She smiled as he tucked her against his chest. Knowing he wanted to was enough. "I know your afraid. So am I."
Lucas changed the subject. Back to their original conversation. She laughed softly. "Sure. But I think the table is a better venue for drawing."
Aria stood up and offered Lucas a hand. He took it softly and she lead him over to the table. The rickety table was barely better than hunching over the coffee table but at least it wasn't so low to be uncomfortable. He sat down and started to draw. Aria moved to the cubboard and grabbed two glass and filled them with water. It was all she had. But they hadn't had anything to drink with their dinner and talking so much, she needed a drink. That was probably the most talking about herself she'd ever done.
Aria stood by the sink for a while and watched Lucas draw. His comments and his feelings kept coming back to her. Aria took him the glass and set it down in front of him. "It's all I have."
She stood behind him and watched. Aria missed touching him. It wasn't about the pain, she missed feeling him like he was part of her. She could feel him. But she wanted to touch him. To be touched by him. That's how it started with Dane, she knew she had to be careful. Aria put her hand on his shoulder and tried not to jostle him too much. She wasn't really watching him draw anymore. She was aborbed in him. Aria kissed the top of his head.
Lucas' concentration waivered. Aria was distracting him. Aria felt her neighbors climb the stairs to their apartment. She laughed softly. "They're home."
Aria bent over and nuzzled his neck. She took a deep breath and savored his scent. Aria whispered in his ear. "This is all me, nothing to do with them."
Aria kissed his neck and then moved the arm that wasn't drawing and sat down on his lap with one leg on each side facing him. She leaned in and kissed him. She pulled away and whispered, "We take this very slowly."
Aria took him by the hand and led him to the table. He felt so large following behind her. He sat at the table and started to draw the image that had come to mind. First he sketched a rough approximation of her existing tattoo. Then, around that he started drawing. When he was drawing he always went to a strange place. He just zoned out, becoming unaware of things around him as he struggled to translate the images and feelings that he had in his mind onto paper. Even for simple things, he fell into that zone unless something broke through.
He vaguely felt Aria's hand on his shoulder and then a kiss on his head. This was going well. The image seemed to flow from his pencil onto the paper. His connection with Aria had made it so clear and now it was coming to life. He felt her nuzzling his neck. It became harder to concentrate. This was so clear though. His pen moved faster. He was almost done.
She sat down astraddle him and he couldn't see the pad anymore. He was looking into her eyes, feeling her press against him. He stopped drawing and just watched her. She leaned in and kissed him. Clean, simple, her lips soft. He felt himself respond to her. She pulled away and whispered, "We take this very slowly."
He wanted her. Right now. He kissed her again, arms going around her, pulling her to him, feeling every inch of her touching him. His heart pounded. Slowly, she said. He pulled back and just looked at her. She seemed hungry for him, her eyes seeking something in him. Despite the raw heat he felt, an image of her as a little girl wandering the streets, bombarded by the emotions of the crowd, scared and overwelmed and lost, came to him. His feeling changed. He felt protective of her. He wanted to make love to her. But she needed more than that. She needed acceptance. She needed stability. He could wait.
He embraced her, their two bodies intertwined, and just held her. "I believe in you Aria. And I am here for you,"
he whispered. And he just held her, letting her feel his solidity. He hoped she could also feel how much he wanted her- not just sexually. More importantly, how much he wanted her to be happy, to find peace. So he just held her and hoped that it was enough for her.
Lucas kissed her again and Aria felt everything and more. She longed for this. Not just his touch but his emotions, he's strength, the connection. It was more than she'd wished for, hoped for, dreamed of. His feelings changed but Aria was happy, he had listened, slow was good. He took her in his arms and just held her, told her he beleived in her. That he was there. That was more than anyone had ever done in her life. Aria put her head against his shoulder. "Am I in the way? For you to finish?"
She could get up and just watch, but she wanted to be close. She knew the time would come for more. "Heh...you're giving me a tough choice to make. Whatever you want, Aria. I don't mind either way."
Aria smiled and tried not too move too much. She didn't want to make matters worse. She let him finish drawing. She'd see the finish product, she was much more content to just lay against him, feeling him. Aria didn't want to move, didn't want the day to end. But she would have to sleep soon. She'd been up for over 24 hours by this point in time. The hunt the night before had been fruitless, except for the resolve to walk the day, which had turned out far better than she could have imagined.
Lucas zoned out again and Aria let her self drift. It was the first time in forever nothing encroached up on her senses. She was perfectly calm sitting in Lucas' lap, like a child would take comfort. It made Aria slightly nervous in the imagry but she wasn't about to move. Aria closed her eyes and soon drifted into nothingness, probably the best rest she'd gotten since her talent manifested.
Aria relaxed against him. It felt nice, safe. It was a little difficult drawing with her like this, but he didn't want to move her. She needed this and he was glad she was willing to accept his comfort. Gradually he got back into the zone and worked on the drawing until he was satisfied. When he was done he held it up and looked at it. Perfect.
He looked down at her head, aware once again of her pressed against him. She breathed steadily against his shoulder. He smiled and put his arms around her, enclosing her. He sat there for a little while like that. He didn't really want to wake her, but it was uncomfortable.
"Aria"
he whispered. She stirred her head. Softly he said, "Aria, here, let's move."
She sleepily got off him though she still leaned on his shoulder. He stood up, picking her up as he did, and carried her to her bed. He laid her down and then pulled the blanket at the foot of the bed over her. Then he went to the other side of the bed and cuddled up next to her, putting his arms around her. He kissed her gently on the cheek and then put his head on the pillow, feeling her warmth against him, the slow movement of her steady breath.
He fell asleep like that, just holding her.
Aria woke up with the sun rising into the windows. It was a very odd feeling waking up when the sun did. Since coming to Moscow she'd done so very rarely, usually only when she needed to meet someone to do something on normal people hours. But that wasn't actually waking up, more like not going to bed at all.
Aria felt Lucas arm over her body and smiled. She carefully pulled out from underneath him and the blankets. No need to wake him up. She wished she had food to offer him, but the small refrigerator in the apartment was pretty empty. The drawing he'd been working on when she fell asleep sat on the table.
Aria tried to see it from the vantage point she was at, but the lines were drawn in pencil and it was not clear. She walked over to the table and picked it up. The lines were clean and crisp. She smiled. It was perfect. Not that she knew art by any standards, but he was a fine artist.
Two dragons entwined the oroborous, caught in mid-fight. One dark, one light, no one clearly having the advantage over the other. It depicted her life perfectly down to the minute detail. He really did understand. Aria glanced over to the bed where Lucas slept with a smile. Maybe this is what it was supposed to be like. Aria knew that doubt would creep in the moment he left, but for now, she was content in knowing he was there for her and he cared. It didn't help that he found her desirable either, but that was only icing on the cake.
Continued in Dueling Dragons
Edited by Aria, Jul 29 2014, 12:42 PM.