A Christmas Carol [Shale House]

[Jensen James]

Jensen stood still, watching the sisters cling to one another. Rachel with her new lightness, Emily with tears of relief. It was as if the whole room had shifted, the heaviness chased out and replaced with something light and warm.

He backed up a step, then another, careful not to disturb the moment. His instinct was to slip quietly away, to let them have this victory as their own. He’d done what he came to do; better now to be gone before gratitude bound him too tightly here, but already the sound of Emily’s sobbing threatened to undo the careful composure he wore.

Inside, his heart swelled. He had done this. He had lifted a woman out of her waking nightmare. He’d been the vessel, the hand, the light. He told himself it was the Gift, that it was God’s will moving through him, but there was a private pride blossoming beneath the humility. A quiet voice whispering that he had achieved what no one else could.

When Rachel suddenly crossed the room and clasped his hands, he steadied under the weight of her gratitude. Her fingers trembled, her eyes shone, and her “Merry Christmas” landed with the weight of a benediction. He leaned easily into the contact, returning the squeeze without hesitation.

It wasn't often that someone touched him this way. Not with lust, not with power, but with simple, unguarded thankfulness. He realized how much he missed it. Back when he was preaching, whole congregations had looked at him like this after a prayer, after a word spoken into their lives. That look of hope. That look that said, because of you, I can breathe again. He’d thought he’d buried that part of himself, but tonight it stirred, warm and heady.

When she let go, Jensen inclined his head, a soft smile ghosting across his features. He took another step back, almost at the door now. “Merry Christmas,” he murmured, though the words were meant more for himself than anyone else. It was Christmas Eve, after all, and he had no family waiting, no tree lit, no laughter to return to. Just a quiet loft and his own company.

But he wouldn’t take that from them. Tonight was theirs. And he had given them back to each other. That was enough. At least, it should be.

[Rachel Shale]

Rachel smiled brightly at his own "Merry Christmas." There was something behind those kind eyes that spoke to her. She didn't understand what it meant, but she knew there was something there. He was moving towards the door slowly and Emily had started to sob. Concerned etched her features as she turned to look back. "Emily...are you okay?"

The sobs were stopped by a light laugh. "I'm fine," she said, lifting her head, standing and wiping her eyes. "Just relieved...and little one is reminding me that they're here."

Rachel let out a small laugh as Emily stood and placed her hands reflexively over her stomach. Rachel had remembered. Emily was going to be a mom, and she was going to be an aunt. Emily's eyes turned towards Iason and she began to walk towards them. Rachel looked between the two - the man who was about to leave and her sister and Emily approaching, her eyes kind and grateful.

[Emily Shale-Vanders]

Emily approached, hands on her stomach. It wasn't just for her baby. She was a little nervous, but gratitude outweighed that. Jensen seemed to want to leave, and Emily could understand that. The moments that he was seeing, sisters seeming to be reunited, were meant for them. His job was done, and in some ways, it probably felt like trespassing to watch them now. Rachel's gaze was moving back and forth between them.

"Em..." Rachel said, an almost pleading tone coming to her voice. Emily smiled. She understood what Rachel wanted. The pair had always been close.

Emily stood besides Rachel and looked up at Jensen, her eyes still red from her momentary sobbing. She was a little embarrassed by that, but it had just happened. Don't worry, little peanut. I won't forget about you. Emily thought. If she was going through morning sickness and these emotional swings a month in, she was likely to have an unforgettable pregnancy. It would be worth it in the end.

"There aren't enough words to truly express the gratitude I have for you right now," Emily said to Iason, her voice soft. "And I know I speak with the voice of my family when I say that too. We need a miracle, and you brought it to us." Emily looked at Rachel who was beaming. The weight that had been in the house for the past couple of weeks was gone, chase away by Rachel's smiles and laughter. She turned back to Jensen. "Tomorrow is Christmas, and we would be honored to have you as a guest for our Christmas dinner. It would just be myself, Rachel, our younger sister, Mara, and my husband Jared. I can assure you, your anonymity will be preserved. I would understand though if you have other plans, or would not feel comfortable. Either way," Emily smiled, her eyes sparkling. "You've made a friend of the Shale-Vanders family. And you will always be welcome in my home."

[Jensen James]

At first, he wasn't sure how to answer. A simple thank-you for the invitation seemed shallow and pale compared to the enormity of the life that was changed, just now. "To see you sister smiling is gratitude enough," he began to say as his attention drifted toward Rachel. Her genuine laughter was reassuring that this was all real, and he could rest easy now. 

“As for Christmas dinner…” his smile flickered, quiet but genuine. “I’d be honored. Truly. Let me think on it." The invitation meant more than they could know, and honestly, he doubted he knew his own response until the very moment in time came to decide. He inclined his head slightly, a gesture equal parts gratitude and blessing, and departed.

[Emily Shale-Vanders]

Emily smiled at his response. She sensed a genuineness in it. She sincerely hoped he would accept her offer. If not, Jensen knew the extent of Emily’s gratitude. Jensen departed quietly and she wished him a Merry Christmas regardless of whether or not he returned the next day.

Emily turned to face Rachel. Her eyes were bright and full of life again. Rachel met her gaze and gave a smile. A real smile - not one of the fake ones she had been giving the last couple of weeks to try to convince everyone she was okay. Emily went to her and wrapped her in a hug as she started to cry again.

Rachel hugged her back. ”You have no idea how amazing it is to see you smile again,”

Rachel squeezed her tighter. ”And you have no idea how amazing it feels to smile again.”

The pair held each other. The house felt so peaceful now. The weight of their situation was gone. It was Rachel yawning that separated them. ”You’ve been through a lot. Your body and mind need to rest.”

Rachel nodded. Her eyes were still bright, but she did look tired. Emily could sense that she wanted to stay up and talk for a while, but she saw the wisdom in taking this time to sleep. ”Okay - I’ll go to sleep.”

Emily gave her another hug. ”Good night. I love you sis.”

Rachel mumbled back her goodnight and love then headed into her bed and covered herself in the blanket. Emily took a seat in the chair by the bed. She’d stay until Rachel was asleep. It didn’t take long. Soon enough, Rachel’s breathing slowed to a sleeping pace. Emily smiled. Rachel looked so peaceful now. Before, even in sleep, she’d looked stressed and she had twitched as if having nightmares. She probably had been.

”Sweet dreams, Rachel” Emily said, kissing her on the forehead. ”Merry Christmas, and I’ll see you tomorrow.”

[Rachel Shale]

Rachel slept a dreamless sleep. She remembered laying her head down on the pillow and then the next thing was her eyes opening into a room filled with bright sunlight. Rachel sat up, feeling refreshed. It was an odd feeling. She hadn't felt this well rested in a long time. Rachel got out of bed, her pajamas a simple tank top and shorts. Sitting on the corner of the desk by the window, she looked outside.

Snow covered the ground, but the sky was clear. The morning sun reflected off of white snowbanks. The streets were clear and plowed. A few houses down, a group of children were chasing each other through the snow, throwing snowballs at each other. Rachel smiled until she felt the slight tremor in her hand. Lucio...she...needed him. Rachel frowned briefly and then squeezed her hand shut. So the fear was healed, but her addiction was not. That was fine. The withdrawals weren't as bad as they had been and would go with time. The fear had exacerbated it. She could deal with that until it was done. Distractions would help.

Rachel thought of the last couple weeks, still a blur on when things happened, but she found herself able to remember more of the events even if she wasn't sure they were in order. She remembered holding a baby, handed off to her by a young man named Liam. She didn't remember the fear she felt then, only the way the baby had looked and cooed at her. Rachel would have to remember to thank Liam for that. It had meant more than he knew. Rachel remembered an excited Emily, pointing at an ultrasound picture - Rachel's little niece or nephew that Emily was now carrying. She remembered family - Jared, Emily, and Mara, and their friends being there for her. And she remembered Elyse. Elyse had been an almost constant, only being in her mind slightly less than her immediate family. She remembered the dance and the way the woman had made her feel. She could feel her cheeks heat up as she remembered a time when Elyse had been walking away and how Rachel couldn't turn her gaze away from her swaying hips.

Rachel picked up her wallet. Hey Elyse! Good Morning! Merry Christmas.

Rachel had moved to put her wallet down, but it chimed a notification quickly. Good Morning! Merry Christmas! How are you?

Rachel smiled. Great! I'm better now. The fear is taken care of, but still sometimes feel some withdrawals -.-

That's great! I'm sure there is a story there, but I feel like you'd rather tell it in person. Don't worry about the withdrawals - they will go away in time.

I know. It will be frustrating, but I'll deal. I'd love to see you soon.

I'd love that too. We'll set a time soon

Sounds great! Rachel paused briefly before sending a second text. She wanted to be clear what she meant. It's a date!

Elyse simply texted back three face with heart emojis. Rachel smiled and responded in kind before saying she needed to get ready for Christmas with Jared and her sisters. Rachel turned back to the outside, feeling a little bit like Scrooge at the end of the Dickens' novel. Not that she had been haunted by three Christmas spirits, but as she looked out on that Christmas morning, she saw the world differently. There was fear there, not the fear that she had been trapped in. It was a healthy fear that told Rachel the world wasn't as black and white as she had thought and that she wasn't always safe. But among all that was life, happiness, family and friends. She understood Cruz a little more then, even if she still thought his method of finding it out was extreme. She wouldn't wish her experience on anyone.

Rachel lost herself in her thoughts. She needed to figure some things out, and that meant she had to make some changes. She began to think about what she needed to do to find herself. She needed to find out who she was, and what better time to start that than now. She hoped that Jared, Emily, and Mara would understand. They weren't bad changes, but they might take them the wrong way. Rachel would be honest though. She needed to find out who she was, and to do that, she had to start becoming more independent. She wasn't sure now was the time to work on her Masters. She wanted to find a job, work, and find a place to live on her own. She hoped they understood. Rachel stood up and went to her closet. She saw there a light blue dress - nothing fancy, but still nice. She hadn't worn dresses since Lucio. Rachel smiled as she reached for it.