A Nice Chat [Safe Harbour]

[Rachel Shale]

Continued from here

Rachel gave the address to Cruz's driver. She watched the buildings pass as he drove. She remained silent, trying to focus, but then decided to text Elyse and see if she was awake.

Hey Elyse! Awake?

Not really...but awake enough to text - everything okay?

Everything good  I actually just met with Cruz. It was nice to catch up a bit.  He wanted to check on me. He suggested asking Nox for someone to talk to about my issues. Going to meet him now.

Hayden?

Rachel smiled. Yeah - that's him. He knows me, but I don't remember D:

He's a good guy. Helped me a lot - especially when things started happening with my parents. Hey there's something I should tell you.

Rachel frowned. What? Something wrong?

Not at all. I just think you should know. Hayden and I have been intimate with each other in the past. I just don't want you to be blindsided or anything. I hope that it doesn't bother you or make you reconsider given how things are with us right now.

Rachel didn't answer for a bit. She hadn't expected that.  It didn't exactly bother her. It wasn't like it happened yesterday - or that they were together. Doesn't bother me. Thanks for telling me though.  Not exactly ethical for therapists to sleep with their patients - my professors would have had a hay day with that. You don't think he's gonna...with me do you?

No. And he's not really a therapist, but he's good at reading people and understanding what they need. That's what I needed at the time. I think he'd know that's the last thing you need right now. I just wanted you to know.

Rachel smiled. Thanks! Almost there! I'll text or call when done, and while I'm thinking about it. Thank you for being so patient with me. I care about you a lot.

It's okay! Take as long as you need hon. I care about you a lot too...and hey! Proud of you!

That felt good. It felt good that Elyse was willing to wait and not push for more. There was a spark between them. They both knew it, but Rachel knew she couldn't handle it right now. She had some fears with getting intimate with anyone.

The driver pulled up at the bar "Safe Harbour." Unnecessary "U" in the name made her think that Hayden was from England. Rachel thanked the driver and he reminded her that he would wait for ten minutes if she needed. She sent Cruz a message letting him know she had arrived, then opened the door to the bar.

[Hayden]

The bar was almost done. Only finishing touches in decor left, and of course the finalizing of the license. His father was dragging his heels, but it would get done and The Sebastian's would have yet another safe house that was his style. His father was most unhappy about that. But he was glad to have a foothold here with family running things. Ethan was not breaking ground on the vodka business. He was failing miserably -- hard to break into what Russia already did so well.

The text from Nox and then from Rachel wasn't exactly unexpected. Who the fuck where you going to talk to about being taken over by a fucking guy who made you feel things? It wasn't like the Atharim had people to talk to. Unless you went to confession and then they didn't help you process it. It was just a confession. Nox was doing something right by helping these people out. And Second Chances. He'd been asked to help. At least train up some psycho babble people to deal with monsters and shit. He'd agreed to the later. Not so much to the therapy. These were favors -- friends of Nox's. People he protected. It was all for Nox for whatever it was worth.

When the pettite blonde walked into the bar he smiled. He'd prepared a simple juice and soda drink for her. Not one of his 'special' specials, but something that would wake her up a little. Not in the stimulant sort of way -- wake up the taste buds.

"No alcohol. I promise." He put the drink on a table with the chairs down, all the rest were up as they weren't open yet.

He offered her a chair and then held out his hand. "I'm Hayden. You're Rachel. We didn't exactly meet before. But I know your story. Nox talks. And I've heard your name from Elyse a time or two too. So this isn't therapy, this is just talking. Between strangers, but sometimes that's what you need. I'm here to listen. So where would you like to start? I can tell you more about me if it'd help."

[Rachel Shale]

The bar looked like a project, but one that was nearly complete. Rachel guessed it wasn't full open yet, but she thought it looked nice. She looked around as the man in front of her smiled and put a drink at a table that had been prepared for them. She took his hand with a smile. "Rachel," she said. He had said her name, but it felt more real to introduce herself.

Hayden continued with his introduction, getting right to business. Nox did talk - she remembered that from her time with Cruz. It also didn't surprise her that Elyse had spoken about her. Rachel couldn't go a day without mentioning her, and she assumed that Elyse was the same. The mention of Elyse made her smile broaden. She really liked Elyse.

Talking between strangers. The word put her a little on edge and suddenly Rachel felt self-concious. It was only natural. She was speaking with a man she didn't really know and she'd be talking about some pretty personal stuff. That was hard in most circumstances. It wasn't a lack of trust. Emily actually trusted Nox too. They hadn't had a good start, but that had changed with The Orphan Project, Second Chances, and his rescue of Rachel.

Rachel took a drink of the beverage he had made. Some juice and soda if she had to guess from the flavor and carbonation. It was very good and she was glad he'd listened to her request for no alcohol. She had no problem with it, but with her moods it just wasn't a good idea to drink it. "This is very good." she said. "It might be a good idea for me to get to know you better before we hit the more heavy stuff. Tell me about you?" she leaned forward, interested in learning about the man who was going to listen to her vent about her trauma. She also had no idea where to start, so this might give her time to think about it.

[Hayden]

Hayden smiled and nodded. He took a sip of the own drink.  "I'm the bastard son of the man I grew up calling my brother. My parents are my grandparents. How's that for a fucked up start." Hayden chuckled.

"I'm good at reading people have been since I was little. I know a lot about things related to psychology, and mind sets. As well as numerology, astrology and reading micro expressions. Like I know when I said strangers you shut down a little. Reminding you that you didn't know me. I know that you got a thing for Elyse. It's mutual, but your taking it slow."

"I'll be completely honest here. I'm doing this as a favor to Nox. I don't normally do this with normal folks unless they are in the vein of bar therapy. Formal stuff isn't my gig. I get information out of people and watch people."

[Rachel Shale]

Rachel listened intently, a bit surprised at his family history. Hayden's family tree was twisted in a way that she wasn't sure she could figure it out. His dad was his brother, and his grandparents were his parents. It was a lot, but she got the point. Fucked up start. He start to life hadn't been that way. It had been decidedly normal. Life had changed when her parents had died and things became super complicated. Emily had moved here and her sisters had come too. It hadn't been an easy transition for any of them, but Rachel had really struggled. Emily seemed to take it all in stride and so did Mara, but while talking with Emily more, she knew that Emily had trouble coping and taking things over. Mara did too, but she always seemed to bounce back quick.

Rachel knew what Hayden was talking about. She'd studied psychology too, even if she was giving it up. Maybe. Probably. She knew she wasn't going back to school just yet. Maybe she'd go back or maybe not. Even if she did, she might go a different direction. She'd wanted to help people, but was terrible at helping herself. She wasn't sure what to make of that anymore. Everything seemed a lot more confusing after Lucio had gotten involved in her life.

"Thank you. Even if you're doing this as a favor to a friend, I appreciate it all the same - especially for doing it on such short notice," she said with a sweet smile. Rachel was sure he probably had more important things to be doing than to be helping this strange girl with her problems. The fact that he was giving up his time to do so really meant a lot.

Rachel took another drink, trying to figure out what to start with. There were so many things she could start with. Hayden said that this wasn't therapy - it was just two people talking, so she figured it would be best to be conversational. It would help to talk things out, and if Hayden was really good at reading people, perhaps he'd see things about herself that she couldn't.

Lucio could help now...

Fuck! She didn't need this now. Rachel looked and her hands were trembling again. At this point the withdrawals were mostly annoying. She'd just have to wait it out. Still Rachel closed her hands into fists, trying to stop the intermittent trembling. It really didn't work.

"It's okay - the withdrawals are minor. I'll be fine," she explained, sure that he had noticed. She moved her chair back a bit to give space between her and her drink, not trusting that her trembling hands wouldn't spill it. But at the very least they gave Rachel something to talk about. "Hindsight is 20/20 right? I just feel so stupid about all of this. I know I shouldn't - I know it's more complex than that, but the red flags were there. I ignored them. I just..." she looked away, biting her bottom lip in thought. She couldn't change what had happened. "It didn't just effect me. So many other people - Em, Jared, and Mara. Nox had to get involved. I don't know what this is. Sometimes guilt, sometimes shame. Frustration often. Mixtures." She sighed. "Any of this make sense?" She hoped it did because it really didn't to her.

[Hayden]

Hayden listen and put his hand on hers. "I actually do understand. And you know you aren't stupid. Sometimes when we are vulnerable we want to believe. And there is nothing wrong with it."

She felt guilty about hurting other. Of getting them involved. "I am sure that everyone got involved out of love. You didn't need to feel bad about their involvement. We all make our own choices. Didn't take away that from them like Lucio took your choices away. Their choices and you're always matter. " he hoped the truth didn't hurt her. She was not like most people he had talked to in the past.

[Rachel Shale]

Rachel just simply nodded. His words didn't hurt. She knew it to be true. Knowing didn't always change how people felt about things. There was guilt there and she knew she'd have to deal with it eventually. Emily and the family had definitely been involved for love reasons. Nox seemed to care for her a good deal. She had good people helping out. She'd met people who had come out to help her too. She remembered one point holding Nox's baby girl, handed to her by a young man named Liam. He had said that Lily was good for healing the soul. It had helped. More than Liam maybe knew. Certainly more than she had told him. He lived in the same building with Elyse. She was sure sometime she'd be able to say thank you.

"I know," Rachel responded, aware of Hayden's hand on her shaking hand. It didn't bother her. "I was vulnerable. Very vulnerable and he took advantage of that. Even with that - it hurts. Some days more than others. Some days I'm completely fine. Others okay, and others a mess. Sometimes I find myself just staring at nothing." She sighed. "I'm just saying things - not even sure there's a rhyme or reason to it."

Rachel almost apologized for it. She really hoped she wasn't wasting Hayden's time. "Guess I learned a lesson though. It's why Elyse and I are taking things slow. Well - one of the reasons. She's great. I know she wants more than I can give her right now, and she's just okay with waiting." She couldn't help but smile when she talked about Elyse. "How are the kids doing at Nox's place - how's Liam? He let me hold Lily once. I never said thank you - I hope he understands why."

[Hayden]

Hayden grinned at the mention of Elyse. "Elyse has her own reasons for taking it slow too. Trust me. I'm glad you two found each other. "

She changed the subject to Nox's house. Which is fine. Though he hadn't been there in a few days, opting to visit the kids at the club instead. "They are good. They are glad Nox is back to normal even if he's a bit more than usual. Liam is good. He's excited to be turning 18 in a few weeks. The kids wanted to through his a surprise birthday party but given that he was expecting to be thrown a 'surprise' we-will-eat you party on his 18th birthday I told them it was probably not a good idea to make it a surprise. A party yes -- a big one. But not a surprise. And he understand trauma, they all do. I know they might all seem a bit young to you, but any one of them might be able to help you cope. Liam, Liv, Ashton, they are all old enough that they understand a bit more -- a bit more naive than others their age. And Nox caters to that naivity, keeping them under his wing."

[Rachel Shale]

Rachel knew Elyse had reasons too. They had spoken about it quite a bit. At least they had after Iason had healed her. Elyse had opened up more after that. ”She told me her story. Bits at a time so I didn’t get overwhelmed. It’s very sad. Glad the kids are well. Hope Liam has a good party. He deserves it. Seems like a fine young man.” she didn’t really know the other kids so well. Everything was quite a blur.

”You know I met Elyse the night of my rescue. I don’t remember much of anything for the weeks after it. Just a big blur. Something’s are clear others it’s like there is nothing there. Holding that baby was one of the things I remembered,” she smiled a bit at it. A memory of light in a lot of darkness. ”He asked me if I wanted to hold her. Said she was good at healing souls. I wanted to, but said no because I thought I’d drop her or something. He encouraged me to hold her anyways. I did. It’s a good memory. Like a shining light piercing the fog.”

She took a drink an her hands were beginning to calm down. The withdrawals didn’t often last to long anymore. ”Theres something I’m really nervous about. Well a couple things. Hope I’m a good aunt. Em ensures me I will be and so does Jared. But the other is with Elyse. I haven’t even told her yet. I don’t know how. Like i said - I don’t remember much, but I remember how I felt. The emotions were are so vivid. So much fear - so much lust. I’m worried that when things start to move and get get more…intimate…that it’s not going to be enough.” She sighed. ”I know how selfish that sounds, but it’s not about her abilities or anything. It’s about me being too broken to feel anymore. I’m worried it wouldn’t be enough with anyone. That - I’m so broken that I’m going to be alone.” she looked up at Hayden and gave a light chuckle. She hadn’t expected to say that this is what bothered her so often. ”I have no idea if I’m doing this right at all.”

[Hayden]

Hayden grinned. "Both Liam and Lily are great at helping you heal. It's one reason I worry less about Nox than I do everyone else. Nox will talk to anyone, and Liam he'll listen to anyone. They are a great pair to have as brothers." And he meant that. Liam might be attracted to Nox but Nox held no notions the other way. Though Hayden was sure it was going to come down to a decision after Liam turned 18.

But Rachel continued to talk and he listened to her words, watched her carefully. Things appeared to be getting better for her. "Doing what right? Talking? Or you mean relationships?" Hayden quirked a smile at her and cocked his head. The answer really didn't matter. "You can't do any of it wrong. The talking, the relationships. As long as you talk it through it should all be fine. You aren't broken, sweetheart. If a man like Nox can fall in love and find someone I'm sure you are golden. You're life is good. You have the support you need. And you have a woman who is waiting. Can't get much better than that darling."

Hayden took a drink and paused a moment letting it sink in. "I was once in a relationship that she thought it was going more than where it was for me. We lived together. Probably the most serious relationship I've ever had. And I don't do serious. So if I can do it, so can you."