Forced Withdrawals [Nox's Building]

[Hayden]

Round two had been more vigorous -- more exploratory and less like one of his usual forays into experimentation. He wasn't against giving up control, but he did realize maybe he did have a few preferences of his own that his partners tend to saw -- Not that Tatyana did anything wrong, he was here to serve and that was his biggest kink -- getting the other one off long before he finishes himself. It had been an interesting experience and she seemed to thrive on the unknown and the dangerous.

His heart was racing and his body tingling in all the right places as she collapsed next to him. He echoed her sentiment with a chuckle. "Fuck is right." She didn't seem to want to talk, but he had a few questions and now was the best time. The darkness was only slightly less dark as their eyes had adjusted to the pitch blackness of Nox's room -- even the computer was lightless and it always had a dim glow about it as it worked -- Sage's work at hand probably conserving power without shutting anything down.

Hayden drew his fingers across her body and up towards her collar bone, he traced where his fingers had been when he squeezed. "Dangerous play seems to thrill you. Not bad, and not dangerous if you and your partner know what you are doing. But it's the perceived danger. The I can't move, or I can't breathe that thrill some folks and for others it's sign of past trauma. It's perfectly normal to just get off on it. I'm not saying you are one or the other, just something to think about. But since, this is likely to happen again. I'm happy to supply you whatever form of physicality you'd like, but other than what we just did, I'd not like to be on the receiving end." He was going to be honest. He wasn't too thrilled about being 'bottom'. Never really occurred to him before. Not that he had a problem being a bottom, but the submissive nature wasn't him.

[Marta]

Marta began to help Sterling, Emma, and Sophia. She still couldn’t believe it. She felt pretty. It was a nice feeling. She couldn’t remember a time where she had felt this confident. A tap on the shoulder got her to turn around and she saw Jackson there.

Her sense of smell really was an unfair advantage. Jackson smelled nervous, but not unhappy. It hadn’t been Marta’s intention to grab his attention like this, but she liked that it had. And maybe deep down she had wanted it. She had just dressed up because she felt pretty and wanted to feel that way. She liked feeling pretty and confident. Marta had a feeling of why Jackson wanted to talk to her privately. There was something scary about it, but moreso exciting.

”Sure,” she told him before giving him a bright smile and turning to Sterling. ”I’ll be back.”

Marta followed Jackson and when they stopped she asked. ”What’s up?” she was feeling a little nervous, but also a little excited. She couldn’t remember feeling her heart pounding in her chest. She had an idea of what she thought Jackson was going to do, but wasn’t 100% sure.

[Tatyana]

Tatyana lay next to him, her breathing beginning to come under control. Hayden began to talk and she used the time to listen and continue to get her breathing under control. Her eyes were beginning to adjust to the dimness of the room and she could see the vague shape of Hayden next to her. She snuggled up against him and put her arm across his chest as he finished speaking.

She opened her mouth to apologize for taking control, but stopped as she realized it wasn’t needed. Hayden wasn’t admonishing her for what she had done, but he was telling her a limit. ”I understand,” she said her voice even. ”Thank you for letting me explore a bit. I have to admit I’ve never orgasmed like that - the past two times that is. I like I’m more into the submissive side, so it shouldn’t be an issue going forward. Not that I didn’t thoroughly enjoy what just happened. ” it had been exhilarating. She took a breath before continuing. ”Its not just the thrill of danger. There’s more to it than that,” she hesitated, trying to find the right words, hoping he didn’t judge her for what she was about to admit. ”Its the thought of not being in control at all - that I’m at the complete whims of my partner. That they decide what happens and when - including when I finish. I got excited when you told me to fuck you - - but it was because you didn’t ask - you commanded. And the more I kept myself from climax the more excited I got for it to happen. It’s like…I’m into power dynamics too. Maybe that’s weird - I don’t know - but it’s what excites me.” she enjoyed their time together and hoped this wasn’t a deal breaker. She didn’t think it would be, but it worried her nonetheless. ”I think - if we continue, we’ll have to set limits, even though I don’t know what they are - and a safe word should probably be established too.” she understood the nature of consent, but understood those lines could be easily blurred with her particular kinks. A safe word would be necessary for that.

[Legione Sumus]

Jackson Li

Jackson pulled Marta over to the laundry room, it was the only real place that everyone wouldn't stare and watch them, not that it matter. Noah was giving him a not so overt thumbs up as he stepped inside. He didn't close the door, they weren't ready for that yet.

He hesitated but smiled at her. She was always cute, but right now he didn't want to stop staring. He was certain she would notice. "You look pretty... Not that you don't always look pretty... I mean you do -- always. But..." He was rambling, a bit nvervous.

Jackson shuffled his foot then moved a little closer. He smiled at her. "I'm going to kiss you now, if that's okay?"

He waited for her consent, then leaned in and pressed a tender kiss to her lips. He liked the way she felt against him and he wanted her closer. But Jackson kept his hands in a tight fist at his sides. Truama was on both sides. He didn't want to make things worse but he also wanted to feel more. More of something he wanted and not what he had to do.

[Hayden]

Hayden never thought of himself as vanilla. Probably because he wasn't exactly a one person kinda guy. Monogamy wasn't for him. But he'd been picking some very complicated people the last few months to sleep with. Making he wonder about his own kinks and likes. "We can explore power dynamics. And we probably should set up safe words. But I think there is more to it than that. Because something is making us uncomfortable doesn't me we shouldn't explore more, so a two tiered system." It was actually a thing Nox spoke of, but he wouldn't tell her that. Nox's past life was mostly with call girls -- at least his young one. His adult life was about the one night stand in a bathroom or hotel room if he wasn't serious about them. Which made what they did even more troublesome for Hayden. It wasn't either of their typical MO. He continued after the momentary thought "Kinda like a football game, or as Nox would call it soccer." Hayden rolled his eyes. "A card system. Yellow meaning we are close, not quite at a limit, but you are pushing your luck. And then red which is an immediate stop. No more. I'm done."

[Marta]

They were in the laundry room. People could still see if they walked by, but closing the door would have been a bad idea. She was pretty sure she saw Noah give him a thumbs up. Noah had probably encouraged this, but it was clear what Jackson wanted. Sterling had spoken true - Jackson couldn't keep his eyes off of her.

What surprised her the most was that him looking at her like that didn't bother her. She was okay with it. She even liked it. It was quiet in the room for a moment, but Marta returned Jackson's smile in an encouraging way. She could feel her heart beating in her chest in nervousness and anticipation. Her smile broadened as he called her pretty. His nervous stutter was endearing.

Jackson shuffled his feet and moved closer. Her heart beat faster as he asked if he could kiss her. Marta met his gaze. She knew the panic would come, but for the first time in a long time, she was brave enough to face it now. She wanted him to kiss her. She took a moment and steeled herself as she responded with a smile. "That would be okay."

Jackson pressed his lips to hers and Marta felt the panic rise. She told herself that it was okay - that she was safe. The panic retreated. His kiss was soft and tender, unlike any she had received in the brothel. She began to relax into his kiss and as she did her hand moved, but she was unsure if he was okay with it. Trauma was rough and she didn't want to push things farther than they were comfortable. One step at a time.

When the kiss ended, Marta her hand was still raised and reaching for his. She put it down as she looked at him and let out a breath with a smile. "That...wasn't so scary it was really nice. I really liked it." She couldn't think of a better first kiss, and she was considering this her first kiss. She raised her hands as if to put them on his shoulder. "Can I put my hands here and kiss you? It would be okay if you hold me a little." She looked at him, her golden eyes bright, but serious. "But if you're not ready for it, that's okay too. I would understand." She doubted many people asked this much, but it was a necessary step for them. Consent was very important.

[Tatyana]

Tatyana nodded. It made sense. They would be pushing into uncomfortable territory. You only found your limits if you pushed them. She scoffed at the word soccer. Americans were weird. It was football - because you used your foot. They barely even kicked the ball in American football. Weirdos. "Yeah - a two tiered system makes sense. Especially since we're really just starting to explore it. I didn't even know I was into this kind of stuff until today, so have no idea what any limits I may have."

She smile and even though Hayden couldn't see it, it could be heard in her voice. "It will be fun to experiment. You can can experiment too. I..." She hesitated. Knowing it was the case and saying it were two different things. "I trust you." She hoped Hayden understood how big of a deal it was for her to say it.

Tatyana flipped gears. Her mind was going in many directions, and she knew Hayden would need some time to recuperate after their sessions. She didn't want to get him too hot and bothered again - yet. "Considering you probably need a break, I'm switching the subject so you can relax a bit. We can go back to that sometime."

She sighed, unsure of how to bring up what she was thinking. She knew Hayden and Nox were close. Friends with benefits was probably the best classification. She wasn't jealous. It wasn't even about Nox sleeping with Hayden. Since she trusted Hayden, and part of that was talking about what she felt about Nox and why. "Sorry, I'm going to get serious for a bit. Nox..." she said, pulling herself closer. "I know he's your friend and people here admire him so much. I don't like him and I know it's unfair, but..." her voice hitched a little. "I don't know if I'll ever see him as anything other than the person who hurt Kenzie even if he had noble intentions with his actions. I don't know...I don't know how to process this at all."

[Hayden]

Hayden sighed. "It's not about noble intentions, Tatyana. I don't really give a fuck if you like him or not, but Kenzie is fucking alive because he killed her mom. She was bitten. She was turning. Should he have let her near her kids, let her bit them, turn them, probably kill them because she was knew and hungry? You don't know the story, you don't ask. You take the word of a ten year old child who only saw the ending. Of course she's hurt." Hayden's voice was filled with venom. "You can hate him cause he's an arrogant prick. You can hate him because everything's a joke to him. There are a billion fucking things you could hate him for. He nor I really give a fuck. But they don't just admire him here. He saved nearly every fucking person in this house. He saves people who don't want saving, he does it because that's what he does. He doesn't think about himself at all in this, and he doesn't care if you hate him."

Hayden pulled away and started pacing a few steps from the bed and back. "I'm about to hurt Kenzie, Tatyana. You gonna not trust me, not like me because of it? She stole a gun and was threatening the life of someone I care about. Nox is too fucking nice, too invested in her liking him. He would let her fucking shoot him, you know that right? He's teaching her how to fight so that she can hurt him in the end. That's her end goal, and he still helps. So please hate him but hate him for the right fucking reasons."

Hayden walked around the bed towards the bathroom. "I'm not pissed at your. You just... pushed a button I wasn't ready to deal with." He didn't close the door, but he turned on the sink and let the water run. Probably should concerve water too but he didn't care right then.

[Tatyana]

Tatyana stayed in the bed for a moment after he headed to the bathroom. Hayden's response was unexpected. She felt a slight tear fall at that. She understood that he wasn't mad at her, but she hadn't known she had pressed a button. She hadn't known what she said was going to upset him like that. She wasn't even sure how to make it right, but she wanted to apologize and at least explain.

She stood and moved across the room. The water was running in the sink and she entered. She came behind him and wrapped her arms around his torso, pressing herself into his back. "I'm sorry," she said, her apology ringing with absolute sincerity.

She squeezed him tightly, willing him to understand how sorry she was. How much she hadn't wanted to hurt him. "I just wanted to tell you that I want to give him a chance, but don't know how to get out of my head. I didn't want to hurt you or press a button. I promise."

She wasn't sure her promise meant much, but it was difficult. She hadn't given her trust to someone like this in a long time, and was worried that in her ignorance she had ruined it, but she also didn't want to make this about her. She made a mistake and wanted to at least take responsibility for it even if she didn't know how. "I'm sorry." she said again.

She turned her head so her ear rested on his back and listened to him breathe. She couldn't take away what she had done, but she could hold him like he had held her when she was upset. She tightened her hug. At least she could be there for Hayden. She still didn't know how to process how she felt about Nox. But she could wait - wait to get help to figure it out. Or try to figure it out herself.

[Legione Sumus]

Jackson Li

Jackson bit his bottom lip and smiled. "I can do whatever you want, Marta. Whatever you are comfortable with you just move my hands okay?" He put his hands where she had wanted him to and pulled her closer and kissed her again. Still soft and tender but this time it had a little more feeling in it. He couldn't help the soft hmm that escaped his throat as he let the kiss linger as long as she wanted. His reasons weren't the same for waiting as Marta's and he was choosing this.